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How official and important are engagements in Poland?

2 Aug 2015 #1
Hi all,

How official and important are engagements in your country? I mean if a guy is engaged to a girl for 2 years, can he break it up easily? how will be things with their families? will they interfere with this matter? is it normal to be engaged for 2 years there?
Jardinero 1 | 405
2 Aug 2015 #2
You will need to pay a penalty equal to 50% of your annual wages + 12 cows and 24 sheep per year of engagement ;-)
delphiandomine 88 | 18,331
2 Aug 2015 #3
Expect to pay a "cancellation fee" to her father. It's traditional to pay an amount of money equating to around 3 months of your annual income, as "compensation" for the time lost. You should discuss this directly with her father to avoid potential problems later, particularly as Poland is a very traditional patriarchal society. Do not discuss this with female members of the family, including the ex-fiancee.
OP moonlight123
2 Aug 2015 #4
Really?!??? is this so complicated?!!!! I never knew! wow! ...

Thanks guys. is there anything else i should know about this matter? since I am getting into a relationship with a polish guy with a 2 year engagement, who wants to break it up. and he is postponing it, so I was thinking it might be some emotional problems, but now it makes sense...
2 Aug 2015 #5
Well, there's actually a way to lift the fee, it's called droit du seigneur

Of course the beneficiary would be the ex-fiancee's father. Have you considered that?
jon357 72 | 21,387
2 Aug 2015 #6
droit du seigneur

That only applies if you're a szlachta.

Otherwise you have to ride into the village and seize them on horseback.
Looker - | 1,134
2 Aug 2015 #7
You people have great fun of this guy! But seriously.. Everything depends on family. In some it may be important but I think that the engaged couple should decide what is best for them. However an engagement ring means also obligation to 'serious intentions' toward the girl.

is it normal to be engaged for 2 years there?

It's hard to say, but for me it's a bit too long - such time should be more than enough to choose either way.. marriage or freedom of single status.

On the other side there's growing number of Poles living long years together without any registration. Since a 'healthy family' shouldn't push too much, the marriage is very welcomed but only if the relationship is widely accepted.
OP moonlight123
2 Aug 2015 #8
yes I guessed I was being trolled ;) that's ok.

Thanks Looker. It was of great help!
delphiandomine 88 | 18,331
2 Aug 2015 #9
Perhaps the financial commitment in this case is even higher, hence why he's reluctant to officially end it.

Bear in mind that it's normal for families to be very close, so if he breaks it up and they discover that he's got a new woman, they might demand more money in compensation as a result.

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