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Polish girlfriend going back to Poland if I dont buy engagment ring


master 17 | 22
20 Oct 2009  #1
my polish girlfriend says she going to leave me if i dont buy her a engagment ring been together for two years and say no to sex before marriage but we had it before
Seanus 15 | 19,706
20 Oct 2009  #2
That sounds normal. They tend to spout the slogan but don't practise it. It's morality when it suits them.

That's a decision you must take some time to consider.
OsiedleRuda
20 Oct 2009  #3
Dump her before she does it to you. Stop being such a doormat ffs "she'll leave me if I don't buy her a ring", lol, what is it with men these days??? Then you're engaged/married and there will be another ultimatum. End it now or you'll regret it.
nomaderol 5 | 726
20 Oct 2009  #4
How much a ring? I could buy 10 rings, one for her each finger. Another ring to her neck, called necklace? ok. Another ring for her belly. And, a big tattoo on her arm, her leg, her body saying "she is mine."
Barr_2009 1 | 252
20 Oct 2009  #5
Damn right ruda, we need to take charge more, too often the woman is making the choices.
nomaderol 5 | 726
20 Oct 2009  #6
Actually, girl is correct. Is she your mistress? Leave her free and let us talk her.
If I were that girl, I wouldn't marry you at all.
And, you call yourself master. Wow.
Harry
20 Oct 2009  #7
my polish girlfriend says she going to leave me if i dont buy her a engagment ring been together for two years and say no to sex before marriage but we had it before

Get yourself down to Argos and spend £50 on a lump of glass with a bit of 8 carat gold on it.
morphy - | 1
20 Oct 2009  #8
Why you alloing her to control you? If my girlfriend give me that ultimatum then I would happily pack her bags.
Ced 1 | 54
20 Oct 2009  #9
but what's your problem? if you love her why don't you propose to her? for girls it's a sign you take the relationship seriously.you don't have to get married yet. i have a friend who's been engaged for 3 years now and still doesn't know the wedding date. if you are not ready yet, don't intend to ever get married or maybe you are with her just for sex, be honest and tell her.

it's pointless to get married if you feel it's not that girl yet
mafketis 20 | 7,344
20 Oct 2009  #10
If this is a real comment (as opposed to a troll) I think the problem is that she's not seeing any signs that you're thinking of marriage.

Most Polish women want to know pretty early on (earlier than women in a lot of western countries) if the relationship is headed toward marriage. It doesn't have to be tomorrow or next week and something could happen to change everybody's plans, but they want to know if marriage is a realistic expectation.

There's no big tradition of engagement rings being especially important in Poland so my best guess is that she's looking for some concrete signs of eventual marriage from your side (beyond talking about it).

What to do: Depends on if you're really serious about marrying her or not (again, not necessarily tomorrow but in the not too distant future).

1. If you're not serious about the prospect of marriage then do nothing or tell her and she'll leave or recalculate your relationship and dump you (maybe quite suddenly after she's found a better prospect). If your position is that you're just f*ckbuddies then that's how she'll treat you.

2. If you are serious about the prospect of marriage, then get a ring or do something else that makes her believe that the relationship is on course for legalization. Just reassuring her might be enough or it might take more drastic measures. But nb, there's no idea in Poland that an engagement ring should cost 2 months salary or anything like that, between 100 and 200 pounds should be sufficient.
Sokrates 8 | 3,346
20 Oct 2009  #11
my polish girlfriend says she going to leave me if i dont buy her a engagment ring

Thats absolutely normal and not really a problem if you love her, just buy her the goddamn ring and be done with it, i've been engaged for a year and we havent even begun to consider when to marry, this ring is like an insurance policy to them.

something else that makes her believe that the relationship is on course for legalization.

Buy her a sixpack of beer.
TheOther 5 | 3,801
20 Oct 2009  #12
Thats absolutely normal

That's normal behaviour in Poland? Oh man, I feel really sorry for you guys. I would dump that chick faster than she could say "bye".
Sokrates 8 | 3,346
20 Oct 2009  #13
That's normal behaviour in Poland?

No thats normal behaviour for most women, if they see the relationship is not going anywhere they move it themselves, why would she quietly wait untill he does it? She probably hinted him before but he was to thick to notice.

I would dump that chick faster than she could say "bye".

Sure you would.
TheOther 5 | 3,801
20 Oct 2009  #14
No thats normal behaviour for most women

Blackmailing the guy to buy her an engagement ring or else? You're kidding.

Sure you would

You bet. But I don't have that problem anymore; I'm married... :)
Sokrates 8 | 3,346
20 Oct 2009  #15
Blackmailing the guy to buy her an engagement ring or else? You're kidding.

Pretty much, though its not always "marry me or i leave" but in one form or the other.

You bet.

And then you would board your green rocket and fly to Mars to fight the toad people for the mushroom treasure.
TheOther 5 | 3,801
20 Oct 2009  #16
And then you would board

You're too fast, read again. Besides, there are people out there who are not as desperate as you are... ;)
sadieann 2 | 205
20 Oct 2009  #17
First off, one doesn't threaten to leave a relationship over an engagement ring? Instead, at this point, decide whether the relationship is moving forward or not. Pure and simple. If you have questions or doubts that's a red flag. I think one knows if that person is the one. A man has to be head over heels in love with you. She really needs to make your life complete. You can't grow to love someone. It has to already be there.
nomaderol 5 | 726
20 Oct 2009  #18
Seperation falls in mind? Then, who should say bye first. Whoever says it first will have taken the responsibility, but, will be accused by the other in the rest of life. Men should say first if no happy future is seen. But, women don't like seperation whatever happens.

Agree with Sadieann. She can threaten to leave. If he is not aware of his abusement of relation, it will be a shock for him. Anyway, her mistake was not to let him know about marriage, children, etc at the beginning of their relations and she probably thought she could convince him. I guess there was another man he promised such serious things to her before him, but, she might have chosen another. Karma?
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595
20 Oct 2009  #19
my polish girlfriend says she going to leave me if i dont buy her a engagment ring

Ok. Think about it.

You have been together for 2 years. Her behaviour is strange. But sooner or later you must decide if she is the women of your life or not. That's not a decision we can make. Do you think that your relationship is good enough to be permanent? If so, get engaged. If not, let her go.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,388
20 Oct 2009  #20
Polish girlfriend going back to Poland if I dont buy engagment ring

a ring is just a ring. it won't make her commitment any stronger. it also might be something to keep her mum happy and nothing more. possibly something to exchange for cash at a later date.

(today is national cynic day)
Krystal 6 | 95
20 Oct 2009  #21
Maybe no one proposed her and she is waiting for someone to pop questions. 1st one get her.

I think nobody want her and so she is trying to play trick on her favorite man to see if someone get shock.
Dice 15 | 452
20 Oct 2009  #22
my polish girlfriend says she going to leave me if i dont buy her a engagment ring been together for two years and say no to sex before marriage but we had it before

Run for your life dude, run while you can!!!!
tornado2007 11 | 2,275
20 Oct 2009  #23
my polish girlfriend says she going to leave me if i dont buy her a engagment ring been together for two years and say no to sex before marriage but we had it before

First thing to do is read this back to yourself, what would you advise me if i posted this on a public forum??

You would probably think 'christ i cannot believe that guy is thinking of buying that girl a ring, i mean she is holding him to ransom, is that the sign of a good/sound/firm relationship??'

of course the answer is 'NO' what she is saying is 'our relationship depends on this ring and this ring only' she is not taking into consideration any other element of your relationship, emotion, trust, affection, spending time together, moral/vocal/physical support.............. the list is so long.

I'm not one to hide my point of view mate and in saying that i would advise you go find yourself a girl who wants to be with you for the right reasons, this girl sounds like a total idiot if a relationship to her depends on an object!!!!! rather than the person!!!!!

I think this is a warning you should not ignore, if this is how she is now, imagine what it could be like when/before you get/are married!!!!

Thanks

T
mira - | 115
20 Oct 2009  #24
Just ignore it.She'll come back if she's smart enough.That's well childish to break up with somebody just because they do not offer you an engagement ring.
tornado2007 11 | 2,275
20 Oct 2009  #25
come back, come back, can you tell me why you would even want somebody back who pulls a stunt like that??? Whether she is English/Polish/Dutch/Brazilian that is just a big no no no no no!!!
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893
20 Oct 2009  #26
my polish girlfriend says she going to leave me if i dont buy her a engagment ring been together for two years and say no to sex before marriage but we had it before

If she is blackmailing you now...think how she will be after marriage...Let her leave.

So you've sh*gged her and now she is saying no because she wants to wait?? More blackmail!

Dump her!
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595
20 Oct 2009  #27
Actually yes, it sounds like blackmailing.

But we should be aware of the fact that there are still many Polish girls who have a pressure from their families to get married quickly.
nomaderol 5 | 726
20 Oct 2009  #28
Dump her!

This is said by a girl? Interesting world. It's like beat her.

Anyway, master, happy seperation dude. Unavoidable.
ShelleyS 14 | 2,893
20 Oct 2009  #29
But we should be aware of the fact that there are still many Polish girls who have a pressure from their families to get married quickly

She isnt living in Poland but she is living in the 21st century.

This is said by a girl? Interesting world. It's like beat her.

He should beat her really hard about the head with a large blunt object if she mentions marriage again.
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595
20 Oct 2009  #30
She isnt living in Poland

But probably her parents et al do. I think we both now how that works sometimes.


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