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Family Friend Daughter from Poland and I started talking (long distance)

1172ftj 6 | 17
19 Jan 2013 #1
Hi, first to start my family is Polish and I was born there but when I was 3 we moved to the US. My father has been going each year for Wszyscy Swieci and to visit my uncle. This year when he was there he asked my uncles neighbor (an old family friend) daughter to add me on Facebook. She did and we have been chit chatting a good amount for around a month and it seemed like she was interested in getting to know me. She is 17 and I am 21 and I am not sure what my father had in mind but in the time her and I were talking she said her parents were bothering her asking her a lot about her talking to me, and my father was doing the same for me. My parents both told me that she comes from a very good family. My father also kind of invited her next summer after she finishes her primary school.

She also asked me if i have a girlfriend randomly when she asked me what I was doing. I told her that I may go with my family to visit in May and she has asked me a few times if I think I will go to Poland this year or not. She seems nice and I like the fact that she goes to church every Sunday, and that she is young it is less guys she has been with. The first month or so of us talking she seemed interested in talking to me and putting the effort to talking to me but she never really tried to get to know me. Now it just seems a little weird or hard to talk with each other, almost like she doesn't feel like talking to me and now I feel the same about her. I think part of the reason is it is not the same talking through emails as it is face to face. But I am not sure if I should put an effort in talking to her and getting to know her, or just have her talk to me if she pleases.

I am afraid of starting something serious since she is a little young, and my mother actually met my father on a trip where she went to meet another guy and my parents have been married 30 years now. I am thinking of leaving things as it is. If I do go I may find someone else there, and if not I can see what happens. The only thing that I really don't like about her is she seems to have a lot of friends, which means more people she can talk to and more people she can be with. Do you think my idea of not trying to talk to her is good, and have her talk to me, or is it best to try to get to know her? I am just a little confused as to what to do and don't want to hurt anyone or cause something bad to happen. I have been thinking about her and the situation sometimes but I know to be patient and see what happens.

Please let me know what you guys think. Dziekuje Barzo :)
gumishu 13 | 6,140
19 Jan 2013 #2
don't talk to her for a while except some hellos - see what happens then and then decide what next
Wroclaw 44 | 5,379
19 Jan 2013 #3
You've never met her and you're checking up on her virginity or possible number of partners. Odd !
OP 1172ftj 6 | 17
19 Jan 2013 #4
I guess that is a way to look what I said but what I kind of really meant was just there being a chance of her cheating or anything if we were serious, especially if it would be so long distance - all we are now is friends and all. I usually think about things a lot and i am just a little confused with the feelings I have. Just putting too much thought in it all I think. Not sure if i really have a question to ask more than just saying what is on my mind.
gumishu 13 | 6,140
19 Jan 2013 #5
go and visit her if you can and see what happens maybe you will both fall in love
rybnik 18 | 1,454
19 Jan 2013 #6
Please let me know what you guys think

don't mind if I do
you're overthinking this.
I guarantee that you will forever regret the fact that you never got to know her.
It will haunt you.
go ahead
talk to her some more.
maybe she's got similar reservations about you (you being older; you being an American; you living so far away)
go ahead.
na przód!
OP 1172ftj 6 | 17
19 Jan 2013 #7
Dzieki rybnik i gumishu. :)

Merged: Advice on what I should do with a Polish Girl?

My family is Polish I was born there but moved to the US when I was young. My father goes each year to visit and this year he asked a very good family friends daughter to add me on Facebook. She is 18 and I am 21. Her and I have been talking and I feel I like her even though I do not know her. I find myself thinking about her every day the last few months. She asks me a few times if I will visit Poland so it makes me feel she is interested in me. She seems nice just she has been really busy with school lately so her attention is no longer on me. What do you guys suggest would be the best thing to do? I am worried since my mother met my father on a trip where she was suppose to meet a different guy, and my parents have been married 30 years. I just don't want anybody to get hurt. If I would go to Poland in June it would be with my mother and we would visit her place in the country, 1 hour from where the girl lives, or if I go with my father it will be in October and I will visit the town the girl lives in (a few houses from my uncles house where we would stay.) Should I just continue doing what I am doing now and see what happens? My grandfather always tells me "Nie martw sie na co nie stalo. To co bedzie to bedzie." Which I do believe in, but I have had this on my mind from time to time and I would like someones opinion on it. I just think it would be hard to do something that long distance but it would be manageable, and meeting her would decide a lot. My name is Michael so I was planning on buying her some Michalki and giving those for her when the time would be to leave and tell her "Za pamieca o mnie" :D (let me know if I said that right.) Thanks in advance! :) if you could also move this to the correct thread sorry!
terri 1 | 1,663
18 Apr 2013 #8
Have you thought that the girl might be using you to get to America?
Go and meet her by all means, but be careful.
phtoa 9 | 236
18 Apr 2013 #9
Look what Rybnik wrote you in the other thread you posted about the same issue.
I couldn't agree more to his opinion!
peterweg 37 | 2,311
20 Apr 2013 #10
Have you thought that the girl might be using you to get to America?

Poland isn't a third world country, she - and for instance a Polish boyfriend - could earn US levels of income anywhere in Europe.And get free healthcare and social security. Why marry for what is already free?

I think any interest on her part would be genuine.
OP 1172ftj 6 | 17
23 Apr 2013 #11
I appreciate your guys' input and sorry for bringing it up again! Just on my mind and it is frustrating not sure what to do with it just need to wait and see. I know by far Rybnik did have the best advice and Peter, I agree I think her feelings are genuine but it may have been her parents who influenced her at first (same for me). Maybe now she has her own feelings out of everything she just needs the same thing as me - meeting each other and see what the feelings really mean. Thanks!

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