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Had a big problem in Poland - a guy lied to me


Rainman2 1 | 4
15 Oct 2019 #1
I met a guy on sympatia while in America and he told me to go to opole to meet him, promising a relationship saying he loved me. I am not experienced and I thought maybe he was moving too fast because maybe he too hasnt been in a relationship so he's eager.

He acted really nice but he made me have sex with him. I was really confused, making excuses like maybe it's hard for him to control himself, surely he likes me because he keeps talking about marriage and meeting his parents. But after a week he told me that he lied from day 1 and that I'm desperate and ugly.

This has really affected me and it's only lately sunk in that we had non consensual sex and not to mention the money he took from me. I lost everything. No intention of reporting as I forgave him and am no longer in Poland but I'm mentally unwell. I match the symptoms of rape trauma almost to a tee. I'm scared of people scared to go outside. Nightmares, flashbacks, feel ashamed and guilty I still sometimes miss him because he was my first experience of love even if he didn't really like me. I'm staying with my friend to recover mentally.
Ziemowit 12 | 3,582
15 Oct 2019 #2
he told me to go to opole to meet him

What street in Opole does he live in?

he told me that he lied from day 1 and that I'm desperate and ugly.

Please, attach your picture to the next message of yours, so we'll be able to tell if you are ugly or not.

feel ashamed and guilty I still sometimes miss him because he was my first experience of love

That's a case for a psychoanalyst rather than for a third-grade (so they say) forum.
OP Rainman2 1 | 4
15 Oct 2019 #3
I met him in my hotel which was near the Rynek. I had arranged to move into a room but I left because I was in shock. So I phoned the landlord from London saying I'm not coming back, keys in the room. He lived somewhere near Ozimek as far as I know due to taking the bus to opole.

I know I don't look good but if you're curious my Instagram is mummyslittleporker, it's private for now because he bothers me on there.
Ziemowit 12 | 3,582
15 Oct 2019 #4
I had arranged to move into a room but I left because I was in shock

You left before or after? If before, nothing happened, if after, you say you stayed one more week, so what was the shock?

Something doesn't add up here at all. Another thing is: has your distress arisen because he raped you (if he ever did) or because he said you are ugly?
pawian 161 | 9,971
15 Oct 2019 #5
Something doesn't add up here at all.

Two males in one relationship is a tricky business - mostly a failed one. They need to be mature responsible guys to avoid arguing about silliest things.

he told me that he lied from day 1 and that I'm desperate and ugly.

To comfort you, I can say such things also happen in male female partnerships. So, don`t treat it as sth unique. One person is in love, the other - quite the opposite. Story as old as the hills.
Ziemowit 12 | 3,582
15 Oct 2019 #6
such things also happen in male female partnerships

I thought it was a female-male relationship. The nick indicates a male indeed, but if you look into that peson's profile, you will see "Gender: Female". So it's either a "Rainwoman2" or some third gender.

Anyway. the character of the person's complaints made me feel it was a woman. A gay guy woudn't be so weepy, I should think. I'm sure he would be quite happy upon receiving a good fvck, whereas this person seems to be in a totally lamentable state.
pawian 161 | 9,971
15 Oct 2019 #7
A gay guy woudn't be so weepy, I should think.

Why not? :)

whereas this person seems to be in a totally lamentable state.

Because he loves and isn`t loved. Simple - anybody would feel the same.
Miloslaw 6 | 2,388
15 Oct 2019 #8
It says quite clearly on her profile that she is female.
Why are you guys turning this into a gay thing???
pawian 161 | 9,971
15 Oct 2019 #9
That female in the profile is a pure mistake. The nick is more explanatory.

Ziem, why are we turning it?
FemaleFriend
16 Oct 2019 #10
I saw you and I didn't particularly find you ugly. He used you unfortunately and after a while of mourning the best thing is to move on.

I know looks easy to say but I already have some experience and believe me, everything leaves good or bad marks but it passes.
I did not quite understand the intent of your post because as you yourself said you do not plan to do any action. Perhaps you would like to hear that this is a Polish feature but it is not. Bad human beings exist everywhere and he took advantage of his ingenuity.

I advise you to delete your social media from here because trolls love to mess around here.
And for your sexual assault even if you have not said "no" clearly you are not wrong to feel invaded if he pressured you even seeing that you were uncomfortable. Don't blame yourself, he's the one to blame. I wish you get better
OP Rainman2 1 | 4
16 Oct 2019 #11
@Ziemowit
Yes, I left after this incident. I know I don't look good which I'm ok with but the rape has left me feeling afraid of people and afraid to go outside. I wasn't looking to have sex but he forced me but at the time I made excuses for him like, he can't control himself but he does at least want a relationship. I'm female, I just named it after Rainman.

@pawian
Thank you for understanding. To be clear he lied to me and later admitted he pretended to want a relationship to get me to meet him etc and the rape itself has left me feeling scared. I was out in public on my own yesterday and had lots of anxiety. He seemed so nice but told me he lied about everything, he said he isn't violent to women but he was:(

@FemaleFriend thank you for understanding. I did say no but he wouldn't listen but at the time since he kept saying he loved me and wanted to marry someday, I was making excuses for him but it was really scary to be honest.

I don't think it's a polish thing, my friend I'm visiting in London is polish and my best friend is polish, I actually learned the language while in London though I'm American originally. I just posted here to describe that this happened when I went to Poland. I am currently trying to get into counseling to help me get over my feelings of fear towards people.
Rich Mazur 4 | 3,453
16 Oct 2019 #12
I just had breakfast. Have some mercy.
I don't believe a word of this crap. A raped person does not go on forum to tell everybody that she or he was raped. They go to a hospital, police, a lawyer, and a shrink - in that order. Much later, maybe on Facebook, but not on a forum of ten. And that's on a busy day.

Somebody is yanking your chain, gullible people.
Ironside 48 | 9,844
16 Oct 2019 #13
Had a big problem in Poland - a guy lied to me

Really. Oh my...impossible, how that could have happened. lol!
By the way are you for real? Nah you are that perverted troll that goes away and comes backs now and again. Are you a troll ghost of PF>?
OP Rainman2 1 | 4
16 Oct 2019 #14
@Rich Mazur
I'm sorry you feel this way that people would lie about this topic. There are actually people who reach out for support and I'm one of them:)

@Ironside
Nope, it's not impossible, it did happen!
Rich Mazur 4 | 3,453
16 Oct 2019 #15
I'm sorry you feel this way that people would lie about this topic.

Did you go to the police? If not, that was not rape.
pawian 161 | 9,971
16 Oct 2019 #16
he told me that he lied from day 1 and that I'm desperate and ugly.

I have a great idea: in retaliation, tell him he has a tiny penis and add that you had to fake all orgasms. That will make him less complacent and self-satisfied.

he told me to go to opole to meet him,

He can`t have been a Pole then. Opole region has a large German minority. He must have been German. Simple.

I'm female, I just named it after Rainman.

That proves some mental imbalance - you are not sure if you are a male or a female. It might have been the reason why he dropped you.
Ziemowit 12 | 3,582
16 Oct 2019 #17
tell him he has a tiny penis and add that you had to fake all orgasms.

He may indeed have a tiny dick and perhaps that's why she's grown so upset thereafter. Didn't she say she arranged the tête-à-tête herself or I just understand it in a wrong way?

I had arranged to move into a room

pawian 161 | 9,971
18 Oct 2019 #18
He may indeed have a tiny dick and perhaps that's why she's grown so upset thereafter

Anything is possible with those trolls. They are never happy in their lives, whether the dick is big or small. :):)
At least, they are fun to read and talk to. :):)
OP Rainman2 1 | 4
25 Oct 2019 #19
@Rich Mazur
I forgave him but as you can imagine, not all crimes are reported. I suggest you read myths about rape to learn more.
@pawian
No, I'm sure I'm female, sorry for the confusion!

I didn't enjoy it, I was scared, and it was unrelated to size.
@Ziemowit
I arranged to rent a room with a landlord as opposed to wanting to be raped. Sorry for the confusion!
Rich Mazur 4 | 3,453
25 Oct 2019 #20
I forgave him but as you can imagine, not all crimes are reported.

A woman who does not report rape is selfish and indifferent to the fate of the future victims.

Did you know that some "rape victims" are so fu*cked up in their heads that they call the "rapist" next day to tell the sob how much they love him and "can we meet again"?

It is when he refuses, a simple fu*ck with booze, shame, and regrets becomes "rape".
pawian 161 | 9,971
26 Oct 2019 #21
I'm staying with my friend to recover mentally.

When you recover, I think you should write a book about your fascinating experiences in Poland. It might become a bestseller one day. ):)
Rich Mazur 4 | 3,453
26 Oct 2019 #22
...and a movie.
Your post seems to suggest (I am channeling Lyzko) that your trust in this story appears to be insufficient to start a gofundme for this guy.
pawian 161 | 9,971
26 Oct 2019 #23
My trust in such stories definitely disappeared after I had/have read tens of them in the PF since my registration . :):) But I do still appreciate the trolls` effort, it reminds me of the old golden times here. :):):)
Rich Mazur 4 | 3,453
26 Oct 2019 #24
How different were they? I mean the golden times, not the trolls.
I have been here like 18 months, so my rear view mirror does not show much.
BTW, can I assume that you don't subscribe to the new legal theory that women must always be trusted? My legal theory is that women should never be trusted without hard evidence.
pawian 161 | 9,971
26 Oct 2019 #25
mean the golden times, not the trolls.

The golden pre-Facebook times mean that when a troll showed up with a story like that, he/she instantly received a few dozen responses, most of which were bursting with indignation. And here? 21 replies??

can I assume that you don't subscribe to the new legal theory

No, you can`t, coz it would be an overinterpretation based on just a few of my silly replies in the even sillier thread. :):).
Rich Mazur 4 | 3,453
26 Oct 2019 #26
most of which were bursting with indignation.

You mean "oh, poor you, can I give you xoxo" kind of crap?
pawian 161 | 9,971
26 Oct 2019 #27
No, indignation at a tall story invented by the malicious troll.
Rich Mazur 4 | 3,453
26 Oct 2019 #28
OK, my faith in humanity has been restored.
pawian 161 | 9,971
26 Oct 2019 #29
If I said sth else, would it have been destroyed?
Rich Mazur 4 | 3,453
26 Oct 2019 #30
Forever. I can't stand people who trust every bs sob story. Women are so good at it. That is why we, the US, are sooo screwed. Specifically, they meet some Nigerian wiseguy on the i-net and end up sending him all they have and what they can borrow because the a-hole they never saw said "my love, my body aches to be close to you".

That is why they get raped. I mean really raped, not like this troll says now.


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