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I need advice: divorce and my rights as a father in Poland


wildrover 98 | 4,451
26 May 2011 #91
I believe its legal to record any conversation you are part of...

bugging other peoples conversation is not....
Patrycja19 63 | 2,699
26 May 2011 #92
That is exactly the wrong advice.

That is why I get along with my oldest daughters father and we are still friends, he comes over
and sits down and converses over a beer with my husband now, there is not one shred of hate
between us, we shared advice, and we learned and grew into parents living seperate lives.

no one is born with a manuel or booklet, especially all the stupid ones you read. its a learning
process with each other. everyones relationships will be different, yes some things are similar
in some ways, but its those mistakes you learn from.

you have forgotten how to love Zimmy, or maybe you have been scared of it since your last
bad breakup.

you dont like to apply feelings into anything. I pity your GF. she deserves better.

anyway, as usual your stealing the show again , and its not about you so get off the feminism kick
for a change.

Patrcias words has had an impact on me today.

I am glad, because there shouldnt be hate thrown at each other when its about all of you
not the two of you.

its understandable there will be frustrations and you will get thru them, just keep a clear mindset
on your goals, what you and her agree on.
I hope you reconcile, I dont know the whole story, falling out of love, or losing feelings
happens, but she needs to understand what happened and why,

what made this happen, for both your sakes, if its unrepairable, then do your best to keep
a calm environment.

I really hope things work out, either way, I know you can get thru this.
Midas 1 | 571
26 May 2011 #93
Midas Yeah and talking with one's husband is the way in which normal, not money-hungry women solve the issue

Ironside You are obviously not married, and your opinions are unsound.

Really?

I mean, true, I'm not married but with my current girlfriend we constantly manage to resolve various issues pertaining to property worth in excess of 600.000 pounds now ( mutual investments ).

Guess how we do it?

Tip number one - we talk to each other and listen to each other.

Tip number two - none of us calls up solicitors at the slightest disagreement.

But, yeah, you're probably right, marriage of all things most likely won't work correctly without getting lawyers involved every other weekend...
Ironside 50 | 11,283
26 May 2011 #94
I mean, true, I'm not married but with my current girlfriend we constantly manage to resolve various issues pertaining to property worth in excess of 600.000 pounds now ( mutual investments ).

well, maybe it is monies that hold youz together, every circumstances differ, he should seek professional help if he want to salvage his marriage and I don't talk money or lawyers.

And you concerting on property are only muddling the issue.
clear now?
Midas 1 | 571
26 May 2011 #95
Unlikely it is the "monies" in my case.

In Kurt's case I don't get Your fuss over my statements.

I also told him to seek professional help. Of the legal eagle kind.

That's what most smart people do when their wife keeps saying she's not happy and is calling divorce solicitors asking how much money she can get, then comes over and asks the husband to hop over to a solicitors office to sign the kiddies over.

If he's going to look into other options ( counselling, mediation ) fine, but what he needs to do first is make sure he doesn't come back to an empty home one night and read a "Dear Kurt, I'm in Poland with the kids" note.
Ironside 50 | 11,283
26 May 2011 #96
If he's going to look into other options ( counselling, mediation ) fine, but what he needs to do first is make sure he doesn't come back to an empty home one night and read a "Dear Kurt, I'm in Poland with the kids" note.

sure, but if he starts with lawyers he well may end up with divorce, and I don't know if that what he wants !
Mediation and all that could help him save his marriage.

Unlikely it is the "monies" in my case.

Never mind your are not the issue here !

In Kurt's case I don't get Your fuss over my statements.

I hope above answer your question!
Midas 1 | 571
26 May 2011 #97
No problem, I guess we just didn't see eye-to-eye on that matter at first.

In my opinion mediation can be done while one retains a lawyer. In his case it should even be done like this, especially since it sounds like she has already lawyered up.
OP Kurt 2 | 29
26 May 2011 #98
So if she is threatening and unreasonable, its time to get yourself a dictaphone and start recording the conversations you have, when she is blackmailing you, once you have taped 3 or 4 of the conversations, sit her down and make her listen to her own verbal abuse/diatribe, then inform her they are going in your safety deposit box, in case of a court case. That will put the wind up her.

What has my life come to where i need to consider getting myself a dictaphone this is crazy, I understand where you are coming from, its to protect myself.. I have an appointment tomorrow and i think I will just file for divorce instead of going back and forth with all this crap me and my wife are arguing about legal rights and rights to our child like we are lawyers i think its time to take the step.
Harry
26 May 2011 #99
I have an appointment tomorrow and i think I will just file for divorce instead of going back and forth with all this crap me and my wife are arguing about legal rights and rights to our child like we are lawyers i think its time to take the step.

Before you file, make sure your wife can not take your child out of the country.
Midas 1 | 571
26 May 2011 #100
Seconded.

The way things sound she'll be tempted to pull off a runner the moment she learns about the filing.
OP Kurt 2 | 29
26 May 2011 #101
Before you file, make sure your wife can not take your child out of the country.

harry my first objective is to have my daughters passport surrended to the court, where neither of us has access to it.
Harry
26 May 2011 #102
That might well not be enough: as your child is a Polish citizen (she must be, as your wife is Polish), your wife could apply for a Polish passport and use that to get out of the UK. I would suggest that you read this guide and contact Reunite for more advice.

reunite.org/edit/files/Prevention%20Guide%20E&W.pdf
OP Kurt 2 | 29
26 May 2011 #103
Harry she is unable to apply for a passport without me being present or without my signature, i am on the birth certificate and my daughter has a temp polish passport> but i will check out reunit.
poland_
27 May 2011 #104
Is this legal?

Yes, I had a dispute with a contractor and was advised by my lawyer, to arrange a meeting and ask him a set of questions face to face. Fortunately the contractor, was a short tempered character, he spilled everything out and made certain threats. Our lawyers met two weeks later and listened to the tape, he settled without the matter going to court.
grubas 12 | 1,390
27 May 2011 #105
So,this is legal in Poland.I was asking because in state of Maryland it's basicaly against the law to record conversation without all involved parties consent.That means your trick would get you in troubles here unless you could prove that you informed this contractor that the conversation is being recorded.
Amathyst 19 | 2,702
27 May 2011 #106
My wife went back to work and got her life back and all was good.

You poor little puppy, working all those hours! Of course other people in London dont work long hours do they?

Blimey - my friend finished off her degree held down a job whilst doing so and looked after 2 young children (btw way she was pregnant with her second when her ex walked out!) - looks like some women can cope with kids, work and forge out a career for themselves, some are just lazy moaning whimps who shouldnt have kids if they cant cope!

The woman in question in this topic, sounds like a lazy b**ch and he should cut off her allowance or cut it to a minimum and see how she likes that taste of reality!

She cant take the kids abroad without his say so and he should make this clear to her - using kids as a weapon is disgusting!
Midas 1 | 571
27 May 2011 #107
I fully agree with the above, can't unfortunately agree with the last sentence.

She sounds exactly like the type to exploit every loophole to move the kids abroad. IMO it likely she will try and I sure as hell know some cases where people made off with the kids from Blightey.
dotcotton
27 May 2011 #108
some are just lazy moaning whimps who shouldnt have kids if they cant cope!

ahhhh but i am sure she had her good old mum just around the sorner......somebody just like me ..:)))) (still can't find those fags)
poland_
27 May 2011 #109
You poor little puppy, working all those hours! Of course other people in London dont work long hours do they?

Working all those hours, ensured that I no longer have to work again, so less of the poor. The woman in this thread does NOT sound like she is a lazy b--tch to me, more that she is bitter because she raised the child on her own in the first years, with NO support from Kurt. Its great that Kurt has seen the light and turned the corner with his business and can focus more on his family responsibility. Anyone that has experience with a Polish woman realizes very quickly there is no compromise when it comes to family. As a man you belief you are doing your best to fight for a better living for your family, somehow Polish woman don't seem to understand it is very difficult to be single income and full time Daddy at the same time.

That means your trick would get you in troubles here unless you could prove that you informed this contractor that the conversation is being recorded.

Poland or the UK is NOT the USA.
OP Kurt 2 | 29
28 May 2011 #110
She cant take the kids abroad without his say so and he should make this clear to her - using kids as a weapon is disgusting!

I agree, and you are right if other mothers can work raise kids and find time to study why is it impossible for others.. my wife is lazy i filed for a divorce yesterday and the lawyer told me that it is not my responsibilitie to house my "ex" and my lawyer is a woman and through our discussion she asked why does she not get herself a job? after i told her about the divorce i made it clear i will help her get on her feet but she demanded way more.. that i support her finacially until September etc..

I will help her but within reason but first i will get myself on my feet.
Lodz_The_Boat 32 | 1,535
28 May 2011 #111
She cant take the kids abroad without his say so and he should make this clear to her - using kids as a weapon is disgusting!

Hey he might be a black South African you now ... then I am sure you would have a different opinion as per usual :)
OP Kurt 2 | 29
29 May 2011 #112
Im mixed race acutally :-)
Amathyst 19 | 2,702
30 May 2011 #113
ahhhh but i am sure she had her good old mum just around the sorner......somebody just like me ..:)))) (still can't find those fags)

Actually her mum died 4 weeks after she gave birth, she has her sister, but her sister works full time so is able very give limited help, strangely enough, she did what other women do, she worked hard, paid for child care and got on with it, its called having a back bone!

he woman in this thread does NOT sound like she is a lazy b--tch to me, more that she is bitter because she raised the child on her own in the first years, with NO support from Kurt.

To give a more personal edge to this, my father worked nights ALL of my childhood, like many fathers did/do...Many blokes are here in the UK leaving their wives behind in Poland..again they get on with it...and she does sound like a lazy moaning c*w!

Anyone that has experience with a Polish woman realizes very quickly there is no compromise when it comes to family.

Tell that to the Polish women living in Poland whilst there husbands are here in the UK working...Your broad generalisation is soooooooooo funny :)

Hey he might be a black South African you now ... then I am sure you would have a different opinion as per usual :)

Strangely enough, I dont care what colour his skin is, he sounds like a decent bloke who got trapped by a gold digging sow!

As a man you belief you are doing your best to fight for a better living for your family, somehow Polish woman don't seem to understand it is very difficult to be single income and full time Daddy at the same time.

Again you are talking complete rubbish! Pure generalisation...

Im mixed race acutally :-)

Please see my response to Dingy Boy!
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,845
30 May 2011 #114
Amathyst obviously your mate is a strong woman, and kurt's wife does sound a bit wet, but how does that give YOU the right to judge others, strangers, so harshly? We know nothing of Kurt and his wife in truth.

Have you had kids by the way? NO? Well that is obvious or you wouldn't be so unpleasant about it.
taurus girl - | 1
8 Jun 2011 #115
kurt
"she wants this amount of money and this and that"..

I think we have in the same situation but our difference to each other are...I am married to Polish Man he was divorced with his ex wife and they have 1 son so I am just the second wife.I am living already with my husband here in Poland my problem also is "when the ex wife knows that me and my husband get married she go to the court and to her lawyer and ask big amount of money for the child support and take note for HER also to my husband... You know I just hate it because even me I am not asking the money from my husband. now my husband is having a big problem because of that "ex-wife"... I am just new also here in Poland no work and I am just being a simple housewife to my husband... I hate Polish woman not all but that woman is one of them they are ***** they just want MONEY!!!...

What I can advice to you is don't let her to do what she want... maybe get a lawyer and ask what you a lawyer can help u...

Cheers :-)
enkidu 7 | 623
8 Jun 2011 #116
Everything was said about polish family courts already.

To summarise.
Are you a man?
Are you getting divorce?
Are you own a toothbrush?

The toothbrush is yours. Everything else is hers.
Midas 1 | 571
8 Jun 2011 #117
I hate Polish woman not all but that woman is one of them they are ***** they just want MONEY!!!...

In my humble opinion Polish women are usually rather money-conscious, to put it mildly. Especially if one takes into account how much they talk about romantic love and all the other crap.

Good luck keeping that ***** away from Your husband's money madam, You'll need it.
wildrover 98 | 4,451
8 Jun 2011 #118
The toothbrush is yours. Everything else is hers.

Divorce.... the removal of a mans testicles.....through his wallet....
ZIMMY 6 | 1,601
9 Jun 2011 #119
now my husband is having a big problem because of that "ex-wife"..

Second wives realize how divorce screws men. Men understand how divorce screws men. Only women don't, nor do the male manginas who are weak pieces of crap. That's why the marriage rate has dropped in half from the last generation. I had to laugh when a recent womens magazine was asking: "Why don't people get married anymore?" The answer is so simple that only a womens gender studies major would fail to understand it. It's because the men are wising up.
sciencegirl 1 | 4
26 Jun 2011 #120
She cant remove your daughter without the court's permission. Your solicitor will explain everything to you. You will get a reasonable settlement between the two of you if you stick at it,she should work for a living like the rest of us do, obyiously you will want to provide for your daughter but don't let your wife walk over you, you have rights too.


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