I sat with a screwed up face after a while and told her I was getting jealous while he was away from us. she told me not to worry, he is just friend and shes out with me. basically I ****** up in my reaction but the other two are not without blame.
Sorry man, you stuffed up. I've been reading your story with interest, but basically, if you had brought it up with her and she had reassured you, you should have been happy with that and said "OK but I really want to spend some time just with you tonight" and then 10 minutes later made a firm suggestion to her, in front of him, to leave with just her. If you did that and she didn't come, that would have been when you would have been right to get upset.
Its seems like after bowling she just wasn't in that much of a romantic mood and wanted to hang out at a pub so you could get to know one of her mates. I know that jealousy sometimes turns us into A@@h@@@s, but we need to know when to suppress that instinct. On second date, you have no right to "control" the situation.