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Indian wife wants divorce from her Polish husband just after two months.


Rita Atria
4 Mar 2012  #1
I have been living in UK on student visa for some years. I met a polish guy who showed interest and we fell in LOVE. We married and got registered with authorities. I left my student life and started living married life. My student visa was getting expired so I apply for spouse visa in UK. I have not received my new visa so for. Now my visa is expired and I am waiting for my spouse visa in UK. Meanwhile, my husband has turned into a bad dream. He has made my life as a hell. I do everything for him and pay all bills. He is just keep telling me that if he leaves me I will be deported from UK. I do not want to live with him any more. I have left my studies and do not want to be deported since I have lost my student visa and spouse visa is just because of my husband. We are married for three months. PLEASE is there anybody who can suggest me a legal way. I am too down today.
pip 10 | 1,661
4 Mar 2012  #2
I think you should visit a lawyer who can give you proper advice.
RevokeNice 15 | 1,860
4 Mar 2012  #3
We are married for three months. PLEASE is there anybody who can suggest me a legal way. I am too down today.

Have to be married for three years to be issued with indefinite leave to remain I am afraid.

Apply for another visa.
smurf 39 | 1,982
4 Mar 2012  #4
I have left my studies

I don't get this, you left your studies coz you got married? Why didn't you stay and finish your education? Will the college let you go back?
SavageGoose
4 Mar 2012  #5
I met a polish guy who showed interest and we fell in LOVE. He has made my life as a hell.

This all sounds like a business deal that has gone sour. Maybe your "husband" is upset because he discovered you paid him way below the going rate for these type of quickie marriages that suddenly happen when a student visa is about to expire. I wouldn't expect a refund from him if I were you. I'm sure the UK authorities will be on to you. Next time you should try an easier EU entry point like Romania, Greece or Bulgaria where the locals are fine with selling citizenship for pocket change. Being that you say you are from India I'm sure you can find a kindred Roma to help you.
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,671
4 Mar 2012  #6
don't be stupid and nasty, she was already here on a student visa, so must have paid alot for her course. Also, if it was a postgraduate course, she would have had no problem staying on afterwards.

Besides, if it was a business deal, they wouldn't be having a relationship, don't you know jackshit?
Also why not post under your usual name? Or would that be too embarrassing?
RevokeNice 15 | 1,860
4 Mar 2012  #7
, she was already here on a student visa,

Which was expiring.

Then she happened to marry a bloke she evidently didnt know too well.

Very convenient. You could probably even call it a convenient marriage.....
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,671
4 Mar 2012  #8
well....that's possible I know...but you know what I mean about 'savage goose', some people have to be spiteful on a personal level.
RevokeNice 15 | 1,860
4 Mar 2012  #9
One cannot be but sceptical when one realises how widespread marriages of convenience are.

-Doesnt seem to really know her hubby. Check.

-Hubby expecting financial reward(shes paying for everything). Yup.

-Fear of deportation. You betcha!

-Visa expired. Marriage helped circumvent immigration law. Ding. Ding. Ding.

Its a lot more than possible ! Its more likely the only plausible conclusion.
SavageGoose
4 Mar 2012  #10
don't be stupid and nasty, she was already here on a student visa

My, my rozumiemnic...such a crazy foulmouthed and infantile response from you! Your immaturity is pitiful. Were you really raised that way? Whoever had that unfortunate job would be really disappointed in you and themselves; I'm sure of it!

Your Indian sister told the world her sob story and it just didn't pass muster. She asked for a suggestion and I gave it to her. It's take it or leave it.

Face it, she's just worried about her visa status and sees a divorce (after just two months!) as a means to claw back all that money she "invested" in her "marriage". If she was such a good and faithful wife then she would be talking to her so-called husband to find out what is troubling him. But no. Instead she is on here asking complete strangers how she can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

Besides she has PLENTY of options available to her. She could (and should) fix her marriage and take her Polish husband back to India with her. The Indian High Commission can help her with her husband's visa and Indian citizenship application. She can also go through with her divorce and finish her studies back in India or another non-EU country.

So you are entirely wrong in your apologetic suppositions about this foreigner. It is evident that she no longer has a valid reason to remain in the UK.

Sham marriages, particularly among Indians and Pakistanis, are a chronic and widespread problem in the UK and the authorities there are well aware of it. They have taken strong measures to tackle it and it is no surprise that wrongdoers are still trying new schemes to circumvent the tighter scrutiny and controls.

It is your problem if this reality is too hard for you to accept.
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,671
4 Mar 2012  #11
.such a crazy foulmouthed and infantile response from you! Your immaturity is pitiful. Were you really raised that way? Whoever had that unfortunate job would be really disappointed in you and themselves; I'm sure of it!

you see you have to be nasty on a deeply personal level, by insulting my parents and suggesting I have mental health problems. I just presented a different view from yours. That is the point of a forum. If you don't like that, then obviously you have a problem, not me. I find you pitiful.
pawian 159 | 9,463
4 Mar 2012  #12
Strange. I thought that people from former British colonies don`t need any visas to the UK and even if they do, there is no problem with getting them and prolonging your stay as long as you wish.
SavageGoose
4 Mar 2012  #13
I just presented a different view from yours. That is the point of a forum.

You certainly demonstrated that you don't handle well the views of others that aren't in total agreement with your own. Here is what you said verbatim in your explosive rant:

don't you know jackshit?

You can try to soft-pedal your crude remarks all you want rozumiemnic but there is nothing civil about you and you know it. You are not above the fray in any of this.

In the interest of accuracy you should at the very least change your user name to "harridan". That way when you come off so vulgar again (and you will) then you might reduce the chance of being regarded as a hypocrite as well. That's my suggestion. Take it.
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,671
4 Mar 2012  #14
it wasn't your opinion that bothered me it was your snide tone and assumptions about "husband" 'Roma' and 'pocket change'. If what I said is your idea of an 'explosive rant' you must have had a very sheltered life.

Hey here's an idea, why not post under your usual name?
SavageGoose
4 Mar 2012  #15
Are you this Indian lady's personal spokeswoman or something? If she is as insanely offended like you are then she can come back on here and say so herself (sans your penchant for shrilling obscenities) or submit her own complaint to the Polish Forum moderators. You didn't notice it but my first comment to this topic was to her not you. I never asked you to respond to me but certainly won't allow your insults to go unchallenged.

You just don't get it. You really don't. I stated previously that your Indian sister came here voluntarily and solicited the advice of complete strangers regarding the shady circumstances affecting her visa status. Her tale of woe didn't pass the smell test. The only ones who are snide are those trying to game the system because they are confident that there will always be someone gullible enough to help them get away with it. Such scammers can rely on you rozumemnic. Obviously!
OP Rita Atria
5 Mar 2012  #16
SavageGoose
I do not know why are you taking it personal and keep insulting me. This world is not limited to my close circle of my friends. These forums give an opportunity to speak all around the world and have some logical and respectful responses. I have been taking part in these forums/threads and found so many good things in them. I am not stranger with this forum. People who use it, I expect and I know, are all intelligent and they give advice just not to pass time but to help others. I never felt myself stranger on them. But you keep telling me I am taking advice from strangers. This typical behaviour hurts anybody. But you do not care, I know. You are more soften with my husband who you do not know. You have got allegations for me who is asking for help. Is it you style to handle with or you learnt to deal with.

Now back to my problem,
My husband used to be my net-friend for more than 18 months. We have been seeing each other about 8 months. We spent some good time together in theatre and parks. I was in last year of MBA. I left my studies because I had to move in new place which was difficult for me to meet expenses. It was not a business deal. It was like a new life on moon before marriage. I did not bother for my last year of MBA and wanted to spend my new life with my most loving friend. But everything changed just after first day of marriage. He is always on taking hand. He expect me good expensive gifts on Xmas, new year, valentine day and on his birthday. In return he forgets to buy anything for me. If I want to borrow from him for daily expenses he just refuses. It was not deal, I swear. Now in these days when I do not have any job I borrow from my friends. He does not bother. He wants prepared hot meal for him, his cloths washed and iron and everything at home to be done by me.

Do you still blame me? I asked for help/advice. Not for insult. Thanks with regards.
jasondmzk
5 Mar 2012  #17
Rita, are there any problems you would identify in your marriage, other than your husband's selfishness and poor attitude? What do you think he would answer to the same question, does he think anything is wrong?
OP Rita Atria
5 Mar 2012  #18
Thanks for taking interest.
I think you have given proper name for our relationship. He does not bother for my these questions. He gives me always deaf ear for my solving the problem discussion. He works seven nights in a week and have got less time for me.
jasondmzk
5 Mar 2012  #19
Good relationships are built on secure attachments, just like a child is attached to its parents. If even one partner is disengaged, and emotionally unresponsive, there can be no attachment. Without attachment, people make assumptions as to why not. They cast blame. Why do you suppose your husband acts this way? Do you think he just wanted a wife, more than he wanted you, specifically? Are his actions automatic, and without thought, or does he act the way he does for a reason? What do you hope to gain by staying with him? What would you change?
OP Rita Atria
5 Mar 2012  #20
I do not think he has any reason to behave like this. He needed one wife who can do everything for him what a wife can do for him. He needs one maid rather than a wife/a partner. I do not think I can continue living with him.
jasondmzk
5 Mar 2012  #21
It looks like you know what you want. Can you follow through?
OP Rita Atria
5 Mar 2012  #22
Please give me advise what options are available in this condition that I can go through the best available for given circumstances.
jasondmzk
5 Mar 2012  #23
I would start making preparations now, Rita. But do not tell your husband. Put some money aside, make some friends, look for a room. Get ready, but continue the visa application process. Let him think everything's normal, so he won't screw up your chances. You have to think about yourself, and make some tough decisions.
sa11y 5 | 331
5 Mar 2012  #24
her husband's visa and Indian citizenship

C'mon Savage - what the heck Polish guy would want Indian citizenship for? Surely taking your husband back to India and try to convince him to apply for Indian citizenship is not a way to fix marriage?

To me it actually seems like a marriage of convenience, as she seems to be focused on the visa and not saving marriage, but your argumentation just does not quite make sense to me...

I did not bother for my last year of MBA and wanted to spend my new life with my most loving friend

Haven't you heard saying about not putting all your eggs in one basket?
Now - dropping out of an MBA in last year is what I would call foolish to put it very gently, but maybe that's a cultural difference. I met some educated Indian and Pakistani girls in UK and in South Africa, who stopped working the moment they got married...

Now - you seem to be pretty determined to get out of this marriage rather than to make it work, so I would suggest that you go back on course and re-apply for student visa.

Otherwise - get some counselling - if it wasn't a deal or convenience, it seems to me that you are BOTH not ready for marriage.
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,671
5 Mar 2012  #25
I would suggest that you go back on course and re-apply for student visa.

That is what I would suggest also....and stay away from Polish boys, all they want is a mummy/maid/w.hore/doormat rolled into one.
mafketis 20 | 7,162
5 Mar 2012  #26
This makes them different from other men ..... how?
sa11y 5 | 331
5 Mar 2012  #28
all they want is a mummy/maid/w.hore/doormat rolled into one

Hmm... I'm not a huge fan of Polish men (none of the relationships with any of them worked for me after all), but that sounds a bit unfair... Some of my friends are married to some good guys - somehow they managed to find them, so not all of them are THAT bad...
Michael_jackson - | 12
5 Mar 2012  #29
SavageGoose

Business deal? Yes people do that but they dont stay together.
Indians can be worst,Are polish Saint? There are bad and good people everywhere you piece of ****.

Secondly India and pakis are same like poland and germany..Dont Compare.
I think you havent noticed polish Drunks molesting women on a street or train.

These lines Have been taken from this link.Enjoy.
(From the 16th through the 19th centuries, the population of Native Americans declined in the following ways: epidemic diseases brought from Europe; genocide and warfare[37] at the hands of European explorers and colonists, as well as between tribes; displacement from their lands; internal warfare,[38] enslavement; and a high rate of intermarriage)

READ IT YOU BLOODY RACIST.WHEN HITLER THOUGH ARYANS WERE SUPERIOR THAN YOU GUYS THEN YOUR ASS STARTED BURNING.I DONT SEE ANY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND NAZIS.IF YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT ASIA THEN WHAT HITLER DID TO YOUR COUNTRY WAS JUSTIFIED.

BRITAIN IS ALSO FED UP FROM POLISH IMMIGRANTS AND ARE RACIST TOWARDS YOU GUYS.
You dipshit Check your own history and present before criticizing others
RITA@..Go to Indian embassy and ask for help.they may deport you after a fine.dosent matter.Its not the end of life.
sa11y 5 | 331
5 Mar 2012  #30
the population of Native Americans declined

Can you explain relevance of your link to OP's post?

they may deport you after a fine

Maybe we are on a different forum - but to me it was clear she does NOT want to be deported. She wants to stay in UK - without her hubby who seems to be abusing his "power" (or what he thinks is his power...).

The best solution to her is to go to work and go back to her studies.


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