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My Polish girlfriend is pregnant by cheating on me and wants this baby without my permission. Please help.


mhmh2 1 | 4
10 Jun 2015  #1
hello, first of all, sorry for my English if its not perfect. I hope that this story wont hurt Polish people, since they are very kind, polite and perfect people. I'm just talking about my case. I hope somebody can help me, because I have to make very important decision soon.

Almost 8 months ago, I met a Polish girl in Poland and we slept just one time and after that night I came back to my country (Turkey). Almost 3 months ago she came to Turkey, and we spent two weeks in my place and during this time, she was always asking/insisting me, not use condom and she was telling me I eat/use pills to avoid pregnancy.I am 26 and she is 35.

Actually I found a job in Poland and in less than 10 days I will be there and I told my current workplace in Turkey I'm leaving and I resigned.

Yesterday she told me, I am pregnant and I understood I am pregnant after three months!! And I was shocked! because its not possible to be pregnant and know this after three months. I talked with some doctors and they told me its not possible and she had knew this at least from the past two months.

I talked with her that having a baby is not a joke and he/she needs attention and lots of other things and we dont know each other very well and we were with each other just 15 days! and she answered I'm old and this will be my last chance and I've always wanted to have a baby and in the next years, I wont be able to have a baby. I told her I wont take care about that baby, because maybe you didn't eat the pills or at least you could have abortion(I know abortion is forbidden in Poland, but she could do in another country)

Now, I am very sad , because I really don't want to be a father at this age and also don't want a have a baby from that women.

my questions are:
1. Since we were not married and I've never wanted to have a baby, if I go to Poland, is it possible that she force me to leave with her and take care about baby? Because I want to work and study at the same time and I am already very busy.

2. If I go to Poland and forget her and stop contacting her, can she force me to be officially sign some paper and be father of that baby?

Since I am not familiar with Poland law system, I would really appreciate it if someone let me know, what kind of responsibility or other things would be on me in this case? and what must I do if I dont want to see this women again.

best
DominicB - | 2,672
10 Jun 2015  #2
And I was shocked!

Sex-ed at your school must have be lousy. In most countries, even little schoolchildren know that when you have sex, even with birth control, there is always a risk that you can have a baby. How naive can you be?

I really don't want to be a father at this age and also don't want a have a baby from that women.

Then why did you have sex with her? Was there any reason you could not get a vasectomy? Both parties are responsible for birth control and for any child that may result. You sound like a coward and a scoundrel, and not a grown man. It's your baby, and it would be a huge sin in the sight of God if you did not fulfill your duties as a father and support the child for the next twenty odd years.

Also, you have no right to demand that she get an abortion. That is sooooooooooooooo wrong that you are probably going to spend eternity in Hell for even thinking it. What kind of monster are you? The judge is going to rip you a new one.

Congratulations for posting the most ridiculous post I have ever seen on this site. And this site gets A LOT of ridiculous posts.
Gosc123456
10 Jun 2015  #3
sorry but the girl was either stupid or dishonest. For sure, the girl was stupid but I believe she was first of all dishonest. At the age of 35, she wanted a baby so she just used the first naive guy she could find. She told the guy afterwards... The guy was very naive but I believe the girl is "more guilty"...
OP mhmh2 1 | 4
10 Jun 2015  #4
DominicB

hey bro,
please be calm and polite. maybe you have been grown up by this idea that having an expected baby is romantic, but for me its very important that I have a baby within a right time and with a right person. So please if you can answer my question, then do that, otherwise, dont talk about non-related issues. thank you
Harry
10 Jun 2015  #5
if I go to Poland, is it possible that she force me to leave with her and take care about baby?

She can't force you to live with her. She can (very easily) force you to pay for the child.

If I go to Poland and forget her and stop contacting her, can she force me to be officially sign some paper and be father of that baby?

She can force you to pay for the care of the child. In fact you can be forced to pay for the child until the child is 27 years old.

I talked with some doctors and they told me its not possible and she had knew this at least from the past two months.

You should talk to a doctor of medicine and not a doctor of philosophy: no doctor of medicine will say that it is impossible for a woman to be three month pregnant and not know she is pregnant.
DominicB - | 2,672
10 Jun 2015  #6
no doctor of medicine will say that it is impossible for a woman to be three month pregnant and not know she is pregnant.

Indeed. It's even possible to go into full-term labor without having suspected one is pregnant. Common enough in clinically obese women.

but for me its very important that I have a baby within a right time and with a right person.

Well. then have sex at the right time with the right person, dipwad. But noooooooo.... you had to get your rocks off with the first floozie that you stumbled upon, and got what you deserve. Twenty seven years of hard labor without the chance of parole.
jon357 63 | 14,122
10 Jun 2015  #7
It's also possible for periods (or period-like bleeding) to continue during pregnancy - rare, but possible. Also women's cycles do vary, they are sometimes very irregular indeed.
Brunensis
10 Jun 2015  #8
How do you know the baby is yours ?
Paternity test needed .
Ziemowit 12 | 3,474
10 Jun 2015  #9
Twenty seven years of hard labor without the chance of parole.

Yes, he wanted pleasure, but no responsibility. That's why I said (the post was deleted) that he'd better had sex with another man. No responsibility for him, only pleasure.
Harry
10 Jun 2015  #10
My Polish girlfriend is pregnant by cheating on me

I really don't see how she has been cheating on you. Do you mean that she's been sleeping with other men as well as you? In that case (actually, in any case), tell her you aren't going to pay anything until you see a blood test confirming you are the partner.

That's why I said (the post was deleted) that he'd better had sex with another man.

Last I checked there are ways of making it pretty much impossible for a woman to get pregnant.
DominicB - | 2,672
10 Jun 2015  #11
Last I checked there are ways of making it pretty much impossible for a woman to get pregnant.

The best, easiest, cheapest and only truly 100% effective way is, of course, not to have sex with her in the first place.
OP mhmh2 1 | 4
10 Jun 2015  #12
She can force you to pay for the care of the child. In fact you can be forced to pay for the child until the child is 27 years old.

Thank you for your helpful comment. She is 35 and she told me I made a mistake and really wanted a baby, while I was aware that you didn't wanted at all, because I was afraid that I can't have a baby in the next years. She told me, I am ready to have an official letter that I wont ask anything from you regarding to this baby and I will take care about this baby alone. Because you didn't want and I wanted. What do you think? Is this good idea?

I must edit this:
she told me, * I will give you an official letter ...
I should explain, she is working in a financial section of a average level company and his economic situation is much more better than mine. To be honest, I am not worried about the money, but having a baby is a significant responsibility and I am not in this situation to have a baby and it was not my choice, because she could have abortion, but she didnt want.
Harry
10 Jun 2015  #13
She told me, I am ready to have an official letter that I wont ask anything from you regarding to this baby and I will take care about this baby alone. Because you didn't want and I wanted. What do you think? Is this good idea?

It's not her choice, the child can at any time seek support from you (and ask the court to order you to support her).
befranklin 1 | 41
11 Jun 2015  #14
hello

Why don't you just go back to your own country and never return, that way everything is taken care. To me that's great advice!
Wulkan - | 3,251
11 Jun 2015  #15
I talked with some doctors and they told me its not possible and she had knew this at least from the past two months.

I don't know what kind of Turkish cave that doctor came from but it is very much possible that she didn't know after 3 months.

what must I do if I dont want to see this women again.

Killing her before she's giving birth would be a perfect end for this lame love story.
jon357 63 | 14,122
11 Jun 2015  #16
Why don't you just go back to your own country and never return, that way everything is taken care. To me that's great advice!

If she won't get it flushed out (easy to sort in Poland, illegal or not and she knows that), and you don't want to take responsibility, this might be your best short term option. Not long term, because the EU will eventually sort out child support issues, Europe-wide.

Have you offered to pay for the abortion? Maybe take her to the clinic?
Levi 12 | 450
11 Jun 2015  #17
Who the HECK do you think to suggest that your girl should ask YOU permission to have a baby?

WHO THE HECK do you think you are to oblige her to abort the baby, to kill your (and her!!!!) own child!!!!

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE????

Guess what? Woman are free in Poland! This is not Turkey!!!! And abortion here is ILLEGAL!!!! I-L-L-E-G-A-L.

THIS IS NOT TURKEY WHERE THE WOMAN IS A PROPERTY OF YOU.

"Have you offered to pay for the abortion? Maybe take her to the clinic?"

Facilitate abortion or offer it is also a crime Jon. And my fingers are really itching to put some people like you and vincent in some real life court for things like those that you are making here. Really, really itching.
christa - | 1
11 Jun 2015  #18
My Polish girlfriend .... means that you are together, take the responsibility!

I can imagine that type of girl , fat and ugly, the same happened to a friend :)
Ziemowit 12 | 3,474
11 Jun 2015  #19
Guess what? Woman are free in Poland! This is not Turkey!!!! And abortion here is ILLEGAL!!!! I-L-L-E-G-A-L.

Is abortion legal in Turkey?

Killing her before she's giving birth would be a perfect end for this lame love story.

Such a story happened recently in Argentina. A 16-year old boy killed his 14-year old girlfriend when she told him she got pregnant. His family then helped him to bury the body in the garden surrounding the house.

I can imagine that type of girl, fat and ugly, the same happened to a friend :)

Why then did he want her to have sex with? Notice that not only is she "fat and ugly" (as you say), she is also much older than he is. C'mon Christa, aren't there any more women in the world?
englishbird
11 Jun 2015  #20
Yes it is perfectly possible for a woman to not know she is pregnant at three months. Do not be silly.
and Christa, you sound like a total ****. Just saying.
OP if you didnt want a baby, you should have taken responsibility for birth control or ensured that she did, or kept your pants buttoned.

Idiots.
nope 2 | 44
11 Jun 2015  #21
flushed out

So that's how abortion is called these days ?! Phucking hell guys, maybe somebody should tell him to murder both of them???!!! What is wrong with you people ?

hello,

Mate, if your rear gear doesn't work that well you should use condoms.In my opinion you should take your responsibilities and raise the child.
jon357 63 | 14,122
11 Jun 2015  #22
And my fingers are really itching to put some people like you and vincent in some real life court for things like those that you are making here. Really, really itching.

You'd be laughed out of court.

OP if you didnt want a baby, you should have taken responsibility for birth control or ensured that she did, or kept your pants buttoned.
Idiots.

Indeed, however as we all know, things just don't always happen like that.
englishbird
11 Jun 2015  #23
" things just don't always happen like that."

maybe not but in general, inserting your penis into a lady often ends with a baby.
If OP did not know that, then he is even more stupid than he sounds.
He gave 'permission' for her to have a baby as soon as he stuck his dick into her.
jon357 63 | 14,122
11 Jun 2015  #24
If OP did not know that, then he is even more stupid than he sounds.

Very possible, however he (and she, since both parties are equally responsible for contraception) are among millions who've made the same mistake.

Which is why proper contraception and access to abortion is essential. People can and will always make the same stupid mistakes.
englishbird
11 Jun 2015  #25
you talk about abortion as though it is like having a tooth out jon, 'Flushed out' indeed!
Harry
11 Jun 2015  #26
He gave 'permission' for her to have a baby as soon as he stuck his dick into her.

No, you need to be slightly more specific than that.

Facilitate abortion or offer it is also a crime Jon.

Really? Perhaps you might like to take that up with the newspapers which publish adverts from clinics, often just over the border in the Czech Republic and Slovakia, that offer 'guaranteed mensuration dates' (for those times when a woman doesn't want her period getting in the way of her plans, for example when she doesn't want to have it while she's on a beach holiday). And at the groups which produce adverts showing that it's far cheaper to go to the UK for a legal and safe abortion than to have an illegal one in Poland.

I still chuckle when I remember the scandal not so long ago when a Catholic newspaper was running adverts for 'guaranteed mensuration dates'.
englishbird
11 Jun 2015  #27
" No, you need to be slightly more specific than that."

Well sure, in an ideal world the two adults would discuss potential outcomes and their implications prior to the deed, but in the absense of that then I would postulate that 'permission' is de facto.
Harry
11 Jun 2015  #28
Well sure, in an ideal world the two adults would discuss potential outcomes and their implications prior to the deed, but in the absense of that then I would postulate that 'permission' is de facto.

No, I meant you need to be more specific about the, er, location.
englishbird
11 Jun 2015  #29
lol hazzer OK. 'stuck his dick into her vagine' (a la borat) happy now?
AliAli - | 13
11 Jun 2015  #30
i do not know why everybody is blaming this guy, he clearly said that he is not sure if the child is from him.
to you brother from turkey, i do not see that you have too much to do with this case, except from making sure it is yours or not, abortion is not a solution , abortion is unlawful except in some very narrow exceptions. it is considered to be a destruction of life and a serious offense against life, and therefore, a major sin.

Paternity test is a must, you have to accept the baby if it is yours, even if you decide not to continue this relation with his mother


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