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Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch.


Paulina 10 | 1,809
27 Sep 2010 #121
Paulina, u seem 2 be fixated on the sex thing, he mentiones wanting to know her feelings more times in his first couple posts (those long 1s) then he talked about touching or sex.

Not really, it's Popcorn who has given this thread a title "Polish Girl Doesn't Want To Touch." lol
In his first post there's no mention of her feelings, it's only about touching, his needs and his feelings. He writes later about his doubts as far as her feelings are concerned, but most of the time it's about touching. So it's even more weird because he's trying to touch her although he even doesn't know if she has any romantic feelings for him. He wrote they talked for hours, he drew portaits of her, went to movies, out to eat, she's now living in an extra room in his apartment. But all of this can be said about a pair of good friends.

He wrote:

If age or money was an issue, I'm sure we wouldn't have got this far.

"This far"? lol He can't even hold her hand! They didn't kiss even once. Apparently she didn't say that she has any romantic feelings for him. And he calls it a "relationship"...

Bewildering...

Yeah but he's a young boy all gaga over this girl, he's not thinking clearly. Typical. :s

You think he's a teenager? o_O

Maybe she'll stop by and talk to us! :D

THAT would be interesting :D
Patrycja19 63 | 2,699
27 Sep 2010 #122
his needs and his feelings

right and they talked for hours. about what? maybe that she wanted to move out
cause hes so touchy feely...

he prob is a artist, he prob is a interesting person and very easy to talk to, how did
she end up in his spare room? under what conditions?
trener zolwia 1 | 939
27 Sep 2010 #123
In his first post there's no mention of her feelings, it's only about touching, his needs and his feelings. He writes later about his doubts as far as her feelings are concerned, but most of the time it's about touching. So it's even more weird because he's trying to touch her although he even doesn't know if she has any romantic feelings for him.

Yeah, his focus on touching, which seems to be his primary concern in all of this, does seem a bit odd and is rather telling about how he views the whole affair.

This is another reason why I think he is young.

THAT would be interesting :D

Maybe we can draw her out...

Hey, frigid Polish leech girl, stop lurking and come out and tell us your side of this story! :D
southern 75 | 7,096
27 Sep 2010 #124
I thought Italians were the greatest suckkers but Americans are worse.Paying for her accommodation?Buying her presents just to look at her?Imagine what this girl will later ask from the poor Pole.
poland_
28 Sep 2010 #125
Buying her presents just to look at her?Imagine what this girl will later ask from the poor Pole.

Southern, you are the cash king, that like to flash your cash at the girls, so when you have paid, what does the girl say, when you have closed the door? ............ NEXT
southern 75 | 7,096
28 Sep 2010 #126
Or maybe again to the guy she kept hidden under the bed.
4gotlogin
28 Sep 2010 #127
I wonder if the cash thing is a problem.

I mean, staying in a house and getting food is one thing but the giving of cash does reduce things to cold hard business.

Perhaps this girl is having a problem accepting that it is possible to be a friend and a 'friend' now that cash has changed hands.

Even so, the situation is plainly uncomfortable for both of them so it should be made clear that it can only get worse if it isn't resolved. If Popcorn wants to stay friends then he could help find her somewhere else to live, continue to see her as a friend but no longer put her (allow her to stay) in such a situation which is plainly problematic for them both.
urszula 1 | 253
28 Sep 2010 #128
The girl is not married to you, why would she want to be touched? You are not in a close relationship, just friends and that's the way she wants it. Once you become all touchy and lovey dovey, the friendship you had is gone and a new type of friendship emerges, more serious and scary. She's not ready to be involved, don't know how long she's been in the US but Poles go through culture shock and some take years to get back on their feet and getting their minds to work properly. It's simple, she just wants to be friends with you. She might have had a bad experience before and vowed to herself that she will never get involved with another guy because she will get hurt by him again. So don't be mad at her because she doesn't like touching, it's just the way she is and you have to respect and accept her that way if you want to be friends with her. You won't change her, she is the only one who could do that. Maybe later as she gains more trust in you, she will open up more, but for now she doesn't want to be touched, she just wants a friend.
Trevek 26 | 1,702
28 Sep 2010 #129
Poles go through culture shock and some take years to get back on their feet and getting their minds to work properly.

So, culturally, if a Polish girl was in Poland and was living free in someone's flat, receiving cash and food, and (seemingly) making no offer to contribute to the running of the house, how long would it be deemed appropriate/acceptable?

I'm not talking of a trade-in for affection, I'm talking about not appearing able to appreciate the other person's feelings.

She might have had a bad experience before and vowed to herself that she will never get involved with another guy because she will get hurt by him again. So don't be mad at her because she doesn't like touching, it's just the way she is and you have to respect and accept her that way if you want to be friends with her.

Quite right, but is it fair to anyone who shows affection to not, at least, explain that you are not ready for something yet... and may never be? OK, the girl might be afraid that she's suddenly found herself in a 'business arrangement' or she might be scared that she will lose his friendship, but surely she should take some action herself to reduce the tension, even if it is by asking a 3rd party to explain things.
rt3d 10 | 46
28 Sep 2010 #130
"Threat them mean, to keep them keen..

This always works for me..if you need to fully understand what this Term means,
ill be happy to shear..
trener zolwia 1 | 939
28 Sep 2010 #131
I'm talking about not appearing able to appreciate the other person's feelings.

Good points. It is rude. I think she does know how he feels and she hasn't vocalized her lack of feelings to him when he's asked because she knows her answer would likely end her free ride. It's more than her merely being uncomfortable talking about such things.

Forget the touching, her actions and silence -her blow off- when he tries to approach her and get her to talk to him tells the entire tale. What they have doesn't even sound like a friendship to me.
Trevek 26 | 1,702
28 Sep 2010 #132
her blow off

that would be 'touching' with added interest
SzwedwPolsce 11 | 1,595
28 Sep 2010 #133
The girl is not married to you, why would she want to be touched?

Well, do you know her?

No wait. You are the kind of girl who thinks that all other girls think in the same way as you do.
f stop 25 | 2,513
28 Sep 2010 #134
You are the kind of girl who thinks that all other girls think in the same way as you do.

yes, but here is the guy who is pressuring a girl to sleep with him, and honestly does not see anything wrong with it, and thinks that everyone thinks like him, too.
Trevek 26 | 1,702
28 Sep 2010 #135
He is not, according to his own testimony. he actually says he does not want things to move so fast. He is talking about holding hands (maybe you think that's where babies come from) and a reciprocation of affection.
Patrycja19 63 | 2,699
28 Sep 2010 #136
He is talking about holding hands (maybe you think that's where babies come from) and a reciprocation of affection.

I seen the mention of crotch in there and that is not holding a hand if ya know what
I mean.. his eyes were going elsewhere .

he also was going for the knee, yeah,, this is not a hand.. and only frankenstein could make
it into one. lol

muwha ha ha ha.
Trevek 26 | 1,702
28 Sep 2010 #137
I seen the mention of crotch in there and that is not holding a hand if ya know what
I mean.. his eyes were going elsewhere .

Yeah, he says he can put his hand on her knee but not hold hands. he then says he has a choice of which direction to move and upwards (crotchwards) would be too much too fast.

Mind you, if he did move his hand in that direction I'm sure she'd hold it quick enough.
Patrycja19 63 | 2,699
28 Sep 2010 #138
he then says he has a choice of which direction to move and upwards (crotchwards) would be too much too fast.

he has a choice????

does he really???

friends dont have a choice... if he moves up. be prepared to meet the floor.
Trevek 26 | 1,702
28 Sep 2010 #139
friends dont have a choice... if he moves up. be prepared to meet the floor.

a lot quicker than if he went down.

The choice thing is my phrasing. This is his point. He has no choice because he doesn't want to offend her.

Funny, I'd have thought a hand on the knee was a bit more than holding hands.
f stop 25 | 2,513
28 Sep 2010 #140
He has no choice because he doesn't want to offend her.

This is a perfect example of everyone reading into this what we want to read.
To me, the insult is, to both sides, the two days to decide if she'll sleep with him or not. Who forced the issue?? That is very ...unpolite
Patrycja19 63 | 2,699
28 Sep 2010 #141
He has no choice because he doesn't want to offend her.

lol,, she is making it plain that she doesnt want him to touch, if she was not tensing up
then I am sure he wouldnt be on here begging for help from us now would he?

he would be a happy little camper runnin around like tom cruise , and jumpin on couches!

its obvious that he likes her..she might not be attracted to him the same.

Funny, I'd have thought a hand on the knee was a bit more than holding hands.

yep , a little to much and we all know what that means. :)
Trevek 26 | 1,702
28 Sep 2010 #142
This is a perfect example of everyone reading into this what we want to read.

indeed, particularly as we don't know her side (neither does he, by all accounts).

its obvious that he likes her..she might not be attracted to him the same.

But she might have the decency to tell him face to face. It's not as if he has (to our knowledge, anyway) said, "put out or get out".

There might be a number of reasons she is tensing up, and they might have nothing in the world to do with her being Polish.
LAGirl 9 | 496
28 Sep 2010 #143
If it was me If I was you I would kick her out and tell her where a womens shelter was or to go to her friends. its seems like she is selfish and thinking of only her. alot of women would love a guy like you. dont waste your money or time if you are not going to get anyuthing even some kind of emotion. find another girl because she will use your money up. do so before its too late. think if you where in the same situation would she do it to you? be smart.
Patrycja19 63 | 2,699
28 Sep 2010 #144
There might be a number of reasons she is tensing up, and they might have nothing in the world to do with her being Polish.

trevek , its true, we dont know her side.. so whatever is going on. hopefully
all works out for the best.

and I totally agree with it not being a polish thing, because anywhere a man places his
hand theres a hidden signal behind it..the messages a women sends back -tensing, move
away means please leave me alone.
Broken 1 | 6
28 Sep 2010 #145
Mind you, if he did move his hand in that direction I'm sure she'd hold it quick enough

This sounds like a good plan.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
28 Sep 2010 #146
How about being aloof to her? That really rubs them up the wrong way :) :) Just shrug or turn your eyebrows up. If they can play the buffoon, then so can you.
pgtx 30 | 3,156
28 Sep 2010 #147
sometimes guys seem to be too "pushy" without even realizing that... in general, men are hunters, but women also don't like to get a man too easy... hunting game all the way... no silver plates, please... ;)
Seanus 15 | 19,706
28 Sep 2010 #148
I agree, pgtx. Some guys are far too direct but interpreting the signals of women can be hard. Not that I ever tried. This is just on hearsay. The best things come to those who wait :)
Trevek 26 | 1,702
28 Sep 2010 #149
How about being aloof to her? That really rubs them up the wrong way :) :) Just shrug or turn your eyebrows up. If they can play the buffoon, then so can you.

How about just bringing in a friend and getting all hot and steamy with them. if she gets upset then just say, "Oh, you seemed to be making it clear you weren't interested'?
Seanus 15 | 19,706
28 Sep 2010 #150
Well, that too :)

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