If you put aside the cultural stuff and the homesickness business etc and imagine that she was an English woman and you were having some other issue which was a problem, the fact is that the pair of you are unable to communicate effectively in a mature and adult way without losing your heads. You most certainly should not be considering having children in such a volatile and unstable relationship.
We actually get on super well when she's happy.
But that's not what counts. What matters is how you get on when she's NOT happy. That's what makes the measure of a relationship, how you get along when times are tough.
She blows hot and cold.
This is very common with Polish women. They are moody.
Also, Polish women tend to communicate indirectly very much. It is often a hard job for a man to guess what they really have in mind in behaving in a specific way rather than telling you straight away.
Spot on Ziem. I find them quite teenager-ish. If they're upset about something, they'll pout and sulk and do the martyr face and expect the man to notice that something's wrong rather than just coming straight out with it. Then if the man doesn't notice, they get angry etc.
having her parents (or grandma and grandad) around us would be great for the children
Yes, if you want the baby wrapped in 'swaddling clothes' like the infant Jesus. Have you read any of the threads on the interference of Babcias in the child rearing process?
Yet this embarrassed her because I might look more successful than her.
A very immature and childish attitude from a woman in her thirties.
Poland comes with its own challenges.
Which makes it doubly important to have a loving, understanding and emotionally generous partner who's not solely focused on themselves and what they
want out of life.
I've lived abroad for 6 years. This is not my first rodeo.
Yes but you were younger, you were there as a single man for work or life experience and you were free to leave any time with only yourself to consider. Now you'll essentially be in what amounts to a marriage which you'll be under pressure to make work and you're talking about having children. A very different kettle of fish.
And do bear in mind that if you have a child with her and things don't subsequently work out, you will be financially responsible for that child under Polish law for a very, very long time. It is possible to still be paying child support when an adult child is twenty five. Also Polish courts do not determine child support amounts using the same kind of system as the UK. It's completely arbitrary and can be any amount that the judge decides. It's based not on your earnings and outgoings but on your potential
earnings and your outgoings are not taken into account at all. The official line (and this is written in law) is that a child should not suffer any material loss/reduction in their standard of living as a result of the separation of his parents. A nice idea but completely unworkable in real life. It's inevitable that both the parents and the child will be materially less well off.
So just think on, cocker, as they'd say in Lancashire.