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English girl. Do Polish men afraid to show their feelings or they are just not comfortable in UK?


Mister H 11 | 761
5 Feb 2009 #31
everytime we get closer he seems to pull back again

How long does he plan to stay in the UK ? He may not want to get too fond of you if his longterm plans are to go back home.

I have thought of this before, i don't believe he is married but have wondered about a girlfriend , even asked him once , he just laughed !!!!!

You need to start following him;-)
OP ukgirl 1 | 7
5 Feb 2009 #32
How long does he plan to stay in the UK ? He may not want to get too fond of you if his longterm plans are to go back home.

honestly i think that is it!!! going out together makes us more of a 'proper couple'
I have asked him about all this , he does not give much away but he has said something along those lines before, but for me it makes no sense , if our relationship went the right way and he wanted to go home i would happily go with him.

Thanks to all for your comments and time.

all i can do is put 100% in to this and see what happens!
Seanus 15 | 19,706
7 Dec 2009 #33
Good thread. I can imagine that some may feel like they are potential targets.
Mister H 11 | 761
19 Dec 2009 #34
Probably depends where they go. I would imagine that there are certain parts of certain cities where anybody may feel they are a target because of something or other.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
19 Dec 2009 #35
Leeds is quite brutal these days. I wouldn't want to live in one of the dodgy areas there.
jonni 16 | 2,485
19 Dec 2009 #36
Seanus

Not just these days. If anything it was worse back in the 80s. But the city centre and studenty areas are generally OK.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
19 Dec 2009 #37
I don't think it's as bad as Glasgow, though. Murder is a hobby there :(
Arien 3 | 721
19 Dec 2009 #38
I saw something about knife crime in the UK yesterday. They've caught three guys on a security camera, in South East London I believe.

On the tape, you could see how one of these guys just walks by, and for no good reason he swings and punches a younger guy on the back of his head, and one of his friends immediately draws a knife and starts stabbing the guy's friend in his chest for no good reason. He turns around, and stabs the guy who got punched on his head (Who was on his knees already, because the other two guys were basically kicking his head in!) in his chest two times, the guy falls over, and then he stabs him in the back two times. These guys then get into their car, and drive away like nothing happened.

These two guys didn't do anything to provoke them, and they were just talking to eachother, not expecting any of this. Apparantly, they were just waiting for one of the guy's sister to pick them up.

The guy who stabbed these guys only got fifteen years. (Oh, and before you blame the foreigners, the guy who stabbed them up was white, and English.) The other two guys only got five years. I'd say lock all three of them up for life?

:(
mira - | 115
19 Dec 2009 #39
Leeds is quite brutal these days. I wouldn't want to live in one of the dodgy areas there.

I heard the same about Blackpool. That people are actually scared to go out when it gets dark.
Seanus 15 | 19,706
19 Dec 2009 #40
Blackpool is amongst the worst. There was a BBC documentary about a bouncer who worked there and he was always getting into fights. Bad testosterone! :(
Mister H 11 | 761
24 Dec 2009 #41
I think that "safety in numbers" applies to this case and if possible go out in a mixed group of people.
delphiandomine 88 | 18,475
24 Dec 2009 #42
Leeds is quite brutal these days. I wouldn't want to live in one of the dodgy areas there.

Bradford is a time bomb waiting to go off, I think.
dtaylor5632 18 | 2,007
24 Dec 2009 #43
Where as Glasgow has been persistently sh1t :)
Mister H 11 | 761
24 Dec 2009 #44
Bradford is a time bomb waiting to go off, I think.

A repeat of the race riots some years back ?

If I remember correctly, that was largely British vs British in terms of nationality but white vs asian in terms of race.

Very bad business.
delphiandomine 88 | 18,475
24 Dec 2009 #45
Where as Glasgow has been persistently sh1t :)

Exactly ;)

But no, Glasgow has changed beyond belief. Places like Blackhill, Possil and the Gorbals have been thoroughly modernised - and would anyone believe 20 years ago that Clydeside apartments would be desirable?

Even the neds don't seem so bad these days!
Wroclaw Boy
24 Dec 2009 #46
In the poorer areas you need respect to survive, its like ohh that so and so he shot so and so once and did 5 years hes a real nutter, if you dont have the rep some one will mess with you. With regard to going out unfortunately many ******** will mess if they youre weak, Pole or Brit or what ever just hit the big one first and make it a good punch and youll be just fine.

Most of the dudes out there cant fight for shite anyway.
dtaylor5632 18 | 2,007
24 Dec 2009 #47
Govan was the worst for that. All you would hear anybody talk about was this guy, that guy, bla bla bla. Totally sh1t patter. Though I did enjoy the junkies chapping at the door asking if you wanted to buy TV's and Playstations for around £20. I hear Govan has become quite cosmo now, feck knows how that happened.

It seems to be a British thing, or at least more common in the UK. Don't get me wrong, Poland has different kinds of sh1t, but easier to avoid.
Meowmeow 5 | 58
6 Jun 2010 #48
To me a lot of Polish live in my area. They keep to themselves at any cost. Personally they seem outgoing, so they can't be shy. It's either, they feel uncomfortable around British people cause many local British see them as having taken potentials jobs ( another story, another thread) Or they are just stuck up?

Kinda sad considering Polish people look like fun, funny people. They need to start opening up more...
richasis 1 | 420
6 Jun 2010 #49
many local British see them as having taken potentials jobs ( another story, another thread) Or they are just stuck up?

You just may have answered your own question there. What do you think: is it the former or latter?
annie1972 - | 6
26 Feb 2014 #50
Merged: English girl with Polish man but he lacks sexual desire...is this normal in polski men?

Help...i am an English girl with a polish man. We have been together for a year...everything in our relationship is almost perfect...except for sex. He has an issue that my sex drive is too high. He is also cold and doesn't really know how to treat a woman. A major issue is his lack of desire...He can't be bothered and feels sex is just need to off load once a week !!.... is that a cultural issue and I should accept polish men are this way or am I wasting my time with someone who commented by saying he could be a priest??

His past relations have been extremely brief..In his words just to be challenged to meet attractive girls..all polish. He was married but was cheated on.

I don't want to sound confident but I am not an ugly woman...slim ..attractive and extremely caring but somehow he seems to be taking my kind nature to the limit.

Sex is something I feel strongly about and connects people by saving yourself for just one.... We feel more like friends than lovers.
Would love to hear from others as this is driving me crazy. I have talked to him about it and he says he is trying .... He now holds hands..kisses and will cuddle... but the static sex on a Friday only is no longer bearable.

what do you think ?...am I being too pushy in expecting too much ??
Or is it a general thing in Poland... He has brothers and i have seen then with their partners...They don't seem so cold as he is.
f stop 25 | 2,513
27 Feb 2014 #51
I don't think this has much to do with his nationality. There might be a health issue - mental or physical. Or, in the large gamut of normal sexual activity scale, he might be placed towards one end of it. Unless you can convince him to get some counseling, (and with a Polish man that possibility is pretty slim), or there is some specific stuff that gets him excited that you have not hit on yet, you got to make up your mind about what you can, and cannot live with.
Meathead 5 | 470
27 Feb 2014 #53
Or is it a general thing in Poland... He has brothers and i have seen then with their partners...They don't seem so cold as he is.

No, it's a nationality thing. Poles are not just Roman Catholic but are raised from birth to live the Catholic ideal which means sex is inherently evil and is to be avoided. Pray, pray, pray.
Wulkan - | 3,249
27 Feb 2014 #54
Or is it a general thing in Poland...

No, it is not. I'm Polish, I shag everyday and I love it.
annie1972 - | 6
27 Feb 2014 #55
Thank you...i have already mentioned this. He said as a tenner get he always had the need but now he doesn't. Doesn't even want to try to create it either.
cinek 2 | 345
27 Feb 2014 #56
he always had the need but now he doesn't

Sick, overworked, feared, bored? There may be many explanations. Ask him if he likes this situation. If he doesn't then go (both) to a doctor. If he does, then ask yourself if you'll like it too

Cinek
annie1972 - | 6
27 Feb 2014 #57
Thank you all..i have already mentioned his levels . He said as a teenager he always had the need but now he doesn't. Doesn't even want to try to create it either.

He doesn't really know how to touch either..foreplay is a no no. He will accept oral but not give it which isn't a problem to me but shows he is a selfish lover as it's all his way or no way !

I am experienced with men and i never met someone that lacks desire before. I have questioned his sexual it too just in case l.

He constantly watches other women...especially their backsides so i don't think he is gay.

He said when he was with his wife they would have sex sometimes 2 to 3 times a week but that was after not being with each other for a few months. Their relationship was strained and very odd but he loved her.

He says he loves me... He thinks he has demonstrated that enough by the occasional cuddle or text which he says is new for him. Also said if he was a warm with his wife as he is with me she probably wouldn't have cheated and left him

ever since I been with him he has shown his emotions or feelings and when you do so much for someone and they don't reciprocate anything it makes it hard to work out what they want or think.

. Part of me thinks he is just lonely here in uk and just wants company. ..He doesn't have anyone here other than his child that he has custody of.

He isn't a generous man in anyway but I took that as culture so not being wined and dined isn't an issue either but hiw else can I feel he is wanting me if he doesn't talk openly about feelings...show any emotions....not take me out anyway unless free and Sexless?

I fought hard not to love him...i thought he was a good kind family man that stood by his responsibilities ...The reasons why my feelings grew but now in a relationship after a year I can't see he feels anything more than friendship for me.

I get more spontaneous hugs and calls from my best mate...He is a great man but more like my brother...fortunately I can talk to him.

All these negatives make him sound like an ogre...He isn't. He is good looking. .and extremely vain. But for what?
He is proud he shagged 20 women before me in a year so obviously somewhere he has a need !!..plus a f*@k buddy.
I am so confused ... its affected everything about me.... i am afraid of my own image in mirror even though male attention has never been difficult for me. I have returned back to gym...been to doctor for help and see a counsellor to talk of the self esteem issue I now have.

I don't want to give up on him just because of sex but the extent of the damage of him insulting my body and not desiring me physically is hurting me so much. He takes everything from me ...accept help with his home which I helped him get...decorated..cleaned...cooked...cared for his child everyday with food and school runs... and for what ??

I didn't do those things for something back but would have thought he would have felt something ? Love me he says he does....hiw does he ?
Magdalena 3 | 1,837
27 Feb 2014 #58
My advice is simple - run for the hills. It is not a Polish thing, or a culture thing, it's him. For whatever reason, his libido is tiny. If he isn't interested in changing that, no one else will be able to help him. I think his ex knew what she was doing when she left him. If it's affecting your self esteem, it's almost too late for you to save yourself, but you still can. If you really love him, and you think he does love you but is just weird, I would give it one last try by moving out (or moving him out if it's your place) and seeing him only occasionally, basically starting to date him from scratch. And no sex unless he initiates it. It probably won't change anything, sadly, but hope is the last to die... If he sees you as really, really hard to get, it might jump start his testosterone production and change the whole scenario. Now, you're the one showing weakness, you're striving for his attention, you're doing all the work, but if you stopped doing that? It just might work. If you think it really is worth the effort.
annie1972 - | 6
27 Feb 2014 #59
He said sex doesn't bother him.... something he can live without. He is only 35 ...i don't know any man that could say they don't want it or need it. For a woman it makes the relationship complete...connecting with a man in a loving way showing him he want to be with him totally. I don't understand him...i am trying to.
Uglywoman 3 | 76
27 Feb 2014 #60
Too much info Annie don't sexually harass us :D


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