Dating a Polish guy for three years. Will he ever marry me?

Will a piece of paper really change anything?

If it's a Divorce Decree, then yes... ;)

no he will not

you dont know if he's been married in poland...i found out my boyfriend had a wife and two kids in poland by the age of 20...and that was his reason for not marrying in poland. do some research woman!

You mean dude can marry in each country to a different woman? Well, I'll be darned!

yeh...well mine didn't get divorced.just strung me along with sweet talk and promises for 8 months. plus he never paid child maintainence so was too much of a wimp to go back or get a divorce. It's not about being Polish, it's just some men are the lowest of the low.

Same could be said for the man, to be honest. Some guys just aren't ready or willing to take on... er... "baggage".

That said, my cousin is in her late 40s and has been with someone who is barely into his 30s (and is legally too young to be her daughter's father) so it takes all sorts, doesn't it.

Three out of four of my most recent girlfriends have had children, and it didn't put me off. But after one divorce which nearly destroyed me, I'm not exactly going to rush into marriage, am I? lol

He shouldn't have had kids before the age of twenty. That was his biggest mistake. Twenty is too young to accept that kind of responsibility. Sounds like he never had a chance to be a carefree teenager.

It is refreshing and unusual that he is not living with you.
But is that on purpose? And who said no?
Is his family conservative Catholics? Is he shy or..um..unsullied? I assume (as a rowdy american and because his age) he um is active indeed.

I hate to sound pessimistic, after 3 years and not even planing a civil marriage it seems that familiarity may have bred contempt; since he lives near, yes? I don't think marriage to you is in his plans at this point, if ever.

Though generalizing is fraught with error, I will assume he is catholic. I don't think Poles "wait" once they decide THAT girl is to be their wife, even if they only took 3 days to think it.

You do have that his family likes you. That is certainly a boon. But still 3 years and it seems subject was killed when brought up. And you gave no reasons on either side like he wants to finish a degree or get a stable job. Or that you have to wait some court decision out or wanted to wait until one of your children is in school or you want a job. You said to him "but we live in UK" but did not post he gave an answer, There's your sign.

Based on the two Polish men I know well..I would have to say "NO"

Soon as my fella decided we were to be paired. Marriage was subject brought up..by HIM. He has faced adversity from family, doubts, drama...almost backed away to friend zone. Then unlatched the sword and came through shining.

We (He especially-darn pragmatist) have made plans for marriage. How hard it will be or not (I'm divorced with kids but I'm RC and my divorce fit RC criteria to allow remarriage). Who should work, when. Kids? How many? how long in US? return to Poland or retire elsewhere?

My particular fellow is pessimistic, stubborn, serious, pragmatic, and hard working. I can't say if yours is the same. if that is upbringing or ethnic trait. He is also very catholic.

My 'brother from another mother' is agnostic in his personal ways. And he totally pursued relentlessly the only two women he pointed out as "future wife".

No. If Polish guy does not make up his mind in a year or two it is unlikely that he is interested in marrying you. He might be "mommy type", or just not interested in marriage at all or not interested in marrying you.

Is marriage important to you? If you are happy, do you need that piece of paper?

The right man will. Maybe date another till you know how serious he is. :)
Mattu

I say he will eventually leave you. Sorry but that's the truth. If he was around your age and had other women before you, divorced or had some kids of his own, I would say he is a keeper. But you got a guy who never had a woman before, who is 23 (20 when he met you), he will eventually want to taste some other things. I would move on. Plenty of older Polish guys around. But, lets face it, you are in love and you will wait. I hope I'm wrong.

the other thing is if he is getting free milk why would he want to buy a cow or if you are getting free sausage why would you want to buy a pig.

You can't really tell what's on his mind. But I think he doesn't have plans to marry you. You could change the rules and ask him to marry you.