In any case I was more commenting on your "it was almost like he saw me as a stupid easterner" comment. It is a default attitude amongst Poles and of course you don't want to admit it. The complex is very real. Even a lot of Poles admit it. It is annoying and self perpetuating. If you had just said he was a tw@t because he didn't even try and treated you like cr@p fair enough I would have left it.
I said 'almost' i didn't say he did, hell knows what was going on in his head. Like other people said, if you love someone you wanna learn about them and who they are, not just take them for granted. I've always had a very positive response from the majority of people i met here, they loved the cousine (i cook quite a bit), the history, even the language and it's so sweet when i bump into people i worked with a couple of years ago and they can still say cześć jak się masz, and they are just friends. Some people really do make you feel like you're less important though and it's a fact, it's not just something that us Poles made up it happens and it shouldn't because at the end of the day we are equals. I'm a confident person and if i didn't care about mr. twit at the time i would never let this go, but hey they say it makes you blind, and i'm not talking about w@nking ha ha... I agree that Polish people and the beaurocracy over there are very good at making foreigners feel not welcome, i dunno about Americans but Brits can be very condescending, and even though you get some right thickos here they still think that they are more 'special' than you, it's hilarious.
If your bf doesn't wanna learn Polish Agata then you can't convince him. You can stop making an effort for him and say you don't wanna see his family in return but that's probably not gonna get you anywhere so if it's really important to you that he learns Polish you gotta have a serious talk and tell him how it makes you feel when he shrugs it off.