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How to convince English boyfriend to learn Polish?

wildrover 98 | 4,451
9 Mar 2010 #31
He should definatly learn to speak some Polish , even if its just the basic stuff , its only polite to try and make some kind of conversation with your family , and he should really try to show some interest in your language...

At some point in the near future i shall have my Russian girlfriend join me in Poland to share a life together .... i don,t need to learn the Russian language , as she speaks English very well , but i will for sure be making every effort to learn as much of her language as i can , so that i can talk to her in her language as well as mine..

We also intend to visit Russia a few times to see her friends and her daughter , and i fully intend to be able to at least make a conversation with them without my lady having to translate everything....

I think you should tell your boyfriend it bothers you he won,t make the effort , and if after telling him he still won,t do it you need to think about his attitude...
beelzebub - | 444
9 Mar 2010 #32
but i will for sure be making every effort to learn as much of her language as i can , so that i can talk to her in her language as well as mine..

Most people intend this....very few actually do it. Reality of life takes over and people communicate in the simplest common denominator. Not saying it is impossible...but I think many people expect too much and assume since they have known a language their whole life that anyone can pick it up.
9 Mar 2010 #33
But this innate reaction of accusing him of seeing her as a stupid Pole has nothing to do with the relationship and everything to do with the cultural complex.

Sure. Because no Pole ever was told that he is stupid by default, only good for cleaning toilets and prostitution and - especially on this forum - was never told that "just because I'm British I'm automatically better then you" You have to be blind not to see from were those insecurities are coming.
JustysiaS 13 | 2,240
9 Mar 2010 #34
In any case I was more commenting on your "it was almost like he saw me as a stupid easterner" comment. It is a default attitude amongst Poles and of course you don't want to admit it. The complex is very real. Even a lot of Poles admit it. It is annoying and self perpetuating. If you had just said he was a tw@t because he didn't even try and treated you like cr@p fair enough I would have left it.

I said 'almost' i didn't say he did, hell knows what was going on in his head. Like other people said, if you love someone you wanna learn about them and who they are, not just take them for granted. I've always had a very positive response from the majority of people i met here, they loved the cousine (i cook quite a bit), the history, even the language and it's so sweet when i bump into people i worked with a couple of years ago and they can still say cześć jak się masz, and they are just friends. Some people really do make you feel like you're less important though and it's a fact, it's not just something that us Poles made up it happens and it shouldn't because at the end of the day we are equals. I'm a confident person and if i didn't care about mr. twit at the time i would never let this go, but hey they say it makes you blind, and i'm not talking about w@nking ha ha... I agree that Polish people and the beaurocracy over there are very good at making foreigners feel not welcome, i dunno about Americans but Brits can be very condescending, and even though you get some right thickos here they still think that they are more 'special' than you, it's hilarious.

If your bf doesn't wanna learn Polish Agata then you can't convince him. You can stop making an effort for him and say you don't wanna see his family in return but that's probably not gonna get you anywhere so if it's really important to you that he learns Polish you gotta have a serious talk and tell him how it makes you feel when he shrugs it off.
Amanda91 1 | 135
9 Mar 2010 #35
If i could make an effort to learn your language fluently then why can't you?

...why can't you?... was your question

where did i say that i expect that sort of thing?

see above

Maybe I misunderstood your intentions but your first comment above made me answer
like I did
"Don't get me wrong but Polish is not exactly a world language."
beelzebub - | 444
9 Mar 2010 #36
I know exactly where they come from...never said I didn't. The thing myself and others like me are annoyed by are:

1. You (polish people) perpetuate those insecurities and use them as "victim status" often.

2. You regularly overcompensate by bragging and taking credit for everything under the sun.

3. You can't admit fault (because they would in your minds validate the "stupid Poles" theme)
9 Mar 2010 #37
It would be cruel of me to explain everything to you. What would you be writing about so endlessly? You'd have to come up with some new slag material to bash Poland about. So lets the blamefest continue ...
Amanda91 1 | 135
9 Mar 2010 #38
I know that in the past he was dating Spanish girl and learnt Spanish so I cannot understand why he could not learn just few basic words in Polish.

It's good to learn as many languages as you can however you have to admit that Spanish is a world language and is pretty useful all over the world while Polish is not.

Your boyfriend however, should learn at least a little bit of Polish, just enough to show you some respect and feelings.
krysia 23 | 3,057
9 Mar 2010 #39
You can't make a cat bark...

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