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Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law

xeson 1 | 11
20 Dec 2010 #61
wow, this is so interesting. i can see the mans side though. im an american, in america if a woman becomes pregnant a man must pay 33% of his income, 90% cost of all medical bills. if a woman gets pregnant , she can go to the familyservice office, tell them a mans name, give a last known address,(some give wrong adress on purpose) the familyservice will send him a letter said this woman claims your the father and you have 15 days to say your not or demand test, if they dont respond guess whatHE IS THE FATHER there is no changing it even if dna is proven later that he isnt, he has to pay for the next 18 yrs, and if the child goes to college another 75%of cost of education, plus 90% of any special medical needs, eyeglasses, braces for their teeth, so. it makes sense that a man be careful, i have six sons and i have told them to ask for test before having sex, and be careful to know the girl and her famiy before having sex so you can get an idea as to what she might be planning if anything. also think about it, not many woman want to get pregnat unless in a secure relationship, its hard on her and the child. i think i law is stupid it barely leaves a man anything to live on, if hes not with the mother. note same law doent apply to woman if she got pregnant and choose to not raise the baby giving it to him, she walks away, mosttimes paying nothing. its not right.
13 Nov 2011 #62
i dont agree with everything that the OP mentioned but i can understand why he is being careful, i am in a relationship with a POlish woman, it started off s fun and she became pregnant 2 weeks into our "relationship" even though she was on birth control (coil typ surgically placed under the skin lasting for a few years.)

I accepted my responsibilty, and agreed to move to Poland as it cant be worse than where i was living in England (schools are terrible, hoodies everywhere etc ) so thought i would give it a try.

1st year was ok, i found it tough living abroad but Polish people have been accomodating. My problem is that i cant stand the woman with whom i have had a child with. I love him to pieces and if not for him i would not be in this "relationship" all she ever wants is more , more more. I have some income from the U.K which in itself would be enough to live off and rent a 2 bedroom apartment, instead she said we should build a house and that it wouldnt cost much. In the end it is close to 800,000 Zl as the costs just escalated as everything had to be the best!!! we argued of course, but i have no way out as i dont want to leave my Child with a materialsitic person like her. My dilemma is should a leave now or should i just tough it out? I really dont wnt to be this woman, i am misreable every day, i work in Poland and i cant work enough hours for her> She doesnt work and is responsible for bringing up our child, whenever i come home i find he is eating sweets or drinking drinks with extremely high sugar content. I tell her that i dont think that he should be having sweets all the time ad she says he only had one, yet i can see how much sweet he has eaten from the packets strewn all over the house. This is just on e example of many in which we disagree. I am not saying that she is all bad as she can be a good mother and we dont always argue.

It is forthis reason i would like to know my rights? if i return to the U.K how much would i be forced to pay in xhild support? because i know that the money will not be used wisely. What are my rights as a Father ( we are not married). I would also like to have enough money left over to start a proper relationshipi with someone else and have more children (planned).

So if someone Knows about child support, i would be grateful for your help.
Ant63 13 | 410
13 Nov 2011 #63
She doesnt work and is responsible for bringing up our child, whenever i come home i find he is eating sweets or drinking drinks with extremely high sugar content.

A mother and her son. You cannot win this one by simply disagreeing. The fantasy father son bond does not exist in this situation. The hand that feeds the sweeties will win.

You really have a tough decision to make and before you make it I would review things like child maintenance decisions in your locality. Decisions appear to vary from town to town. You will of course be portrayed as an alcholic, wife and child abuser in court and she will also attempt to remove all parental responsabilty from you.

Better to try and educate her about food using an indirect approach. Do you remember the series in England that showed parents what their children would look like as they grew older with the food they were being fed. My ex wifes shopping srategies changed the following day. I am positive my children benefited enourmously from this, both educationaly and physically.

Personally I would try at all cost to keep this relationship together, especially if you don't fight all the time, as your child is too young to understand, and is easily manipulated. The child will believe what it is told.

There are some amazing decisions made my Polish Courts.

I met a Polish guy at an airport in the UK who had to take his daughter back to Poland every week to visit the mother. How could this child have a normal life with freinds etc. Unfair on the child and a punishment on the father for living in the UK.

A woman that worked for me earning £1200 after tax had to pay £900 for one child. As if loosing her child wasn't enough.

Another woman who worked for me had 1000zlt awarded to her and 3 months later this was reduced to 100zlt. Her ex husbands situation had not changed and he was a very high earner for a native.

I haven't heard of any good ones but then you are unlikely to on the internet.

Of course I will be attacked now and numerous misguided comments will follow. Its normal.
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,839
13 Nov 2011 #64
show her some pictures of rotten teeth, and tell her how many young kids actually need an operation under general anasthetic as there teeth are so rotten and so neglected by their parents.

Mostly it is sweets, squash, and fizzy drinks.
Ask her if that is what she wants for her kid.
He can eat sweets later.
If you are paying for everything, take some control as well.
13 Nov 2011 #65
Thank you both for your helpful advice, I will try that approach, but that is but one of the many problems we have, I am persevering but I am miserable and children are very perceptive even at 3 years of age.

I really hope we can work it out for the sake of our wonderful son whom we both brought into this world.

Thank you one again for your input
Ant63 13 | 410
13 Nov 2011 #66
Mostly it is sweets, squash, and fizzy drinks.

You missed the damage it does to education. Sweets etc make kids hyper. hper kids take longer to learn!
28 Jan 2012 #67
can i make a polish man pay for my son child support.he is the father but he does not help in maintaning th kenyan.the child was born in kenya
28 Jan 2012 #68
^ Yes you can. Where does the kid now live?

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