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Concerns about Polish Family / Child Support Law


dtaylor5632 18 | 2,007
16 Dec 2010 #31
The law is apparently MUCH more brutal on the matter in Poland than here.

It's about the same, there is no such thing as a BRUTAL law when a child is involved. If you're stupid enough not to take precautions then you should pay whatever the law deems fit to make you and then some ;)
OP scguy 1 | 19
16 Dec 2010 #32
Which us exactly why I'm here in this thread. The ultimate precaution: simply avoid the girl. It's a damned shame though.
dtaylor5632 18 | 2,007
16 Dec 2010 #33
The ultimate precaution: simply avoid the girl. It's a damned shame though.

But that means you will never have a relationship in your life.
Paulina 10 | 1,766
16 Dec 2010 #34
There will be no love making. Knowing this risk, I won't be able to go maintain a relationship - I'll simply fear the consequences too much. I owe her to be able to trust her. But I simply can't when the law on the area is put together like this.

O_____O

It will be definitely better for the girl if you don't "maintain this relationship"...
Jesus...
OP scguy 1 | 19
16 Dec 2010 #35
But that means you will never have a relationship in your life.

Untrue. The law here isn't based on a judge deciding what you pay. The amount is fixed by law, and is only adjusted for inflation

O_____O

It will be definitely better for the girl if you don't "maintain this relationship"...
Jesus...

Indeed. I just need to figure out what to tell her.
alexw68
16 Dec 2010 #36
Indeed. I just need to figure out what to tell her.

Uh-huh. 'I've run the financials past a bunch of people I've never ever met before on an internet forum' should get you the result you want...
Paulina 10 | 1,766
16 Dec 2010 #37
Indeed. I just need to figure out what to tell her.

Tell her what you told us. If she's normal you won't see her again, that's for sure LOL
OP scguy 1 | 19
16 Dec 2010 #38
Uh-huh. 'I've run the financials past a bunch of people I've never ever met before on an internet forum' should get you the result you want...

Nah, too much drama would arise from that.
alexw68
16 Dec 2010 #39
Well, bugger me, I think I've heard it all today. You need to work a little harder on that spreadsheet, dude.
Paulina 10 | 1,766
16 Dec 2010 #40
Nah, too much drama would arise from that.

I think you owe her the truth for being such a cold, calculative jerk. At least she won't regret that you two are not together when she finds out what kind of person you are and she won't think that there was something wrong with her, that it was her fault that you dumped her. You deserve this drama, mister. Don't be a coward.
OP scguy 1 | 19
16 Dec 2010 #41
I think you're right. It's going to be interesting.

However, I don't believe I "deserve" anything. I don't owe her anything at all, and neither does she owe me anything. We had three nice weeks going to movies, out for dinner and whatever you do when you date. We've both had a nice time. So please... there is no reason to be all condescending. Jesus...
Paulina 10 | 1,766
16 Dec 2010 #42
If so, then why do you think that "too much drama" would arise?
Whatever, just tell her the truth.
OP scguy 1 | 19
16 Dec 2010 #43
People rarely react rationally when confronted with information they don't want to receive. And this one is pretty emotional. But oh well.
alexw68
16 Dec 2010 #44
And this one is pretty emotional.

And you wouldn't want to worry her pretty little head about it. Wow, such fvcking chivalry.
Paulina 10 | 1,766
17 Dec 2010 #45
People rarely react rationally when confronted with information they don't want to receive.

It is a norm on the planet called Earth that relationships are based on... brace yourself... feelings and emotions as well as physical attraction. Normal people who dated someone for three weeks don't inquire about family law in case a girl will get pregnant, for God's sake... And for sure normal people don't decide about going out with somebody or not based on what kind of family law there's in hers/his country of origin.

So it will be only natural if she finds your... attitude... out of the norm.

And this one is pretty emotional.

Then I feel sorry for her already. I suspect she'll be pretty shocked. But she should know the truth.

Btw, I would advise you to date women who are... erm... similar to you. Stay away from emotional girls. Or you'll end up hurting many women, Mr. Spock.
dtaylor5632 18 | 2,007
17 Dec 2010 #46
Stay away from emotional girls.

Stay away from all women I think would be better...

Just because im curious and think a female view on this should be there. What would your reaction be if the guy ur thinking of having sex with asked u to do an STD test?
OP scguy 1 | 19
17 Dec 2010 #47
And for sure normal people don't decide about going out with somebody or not based on what kind of law there's in hers/his country of origin.

It would seem like it's a valid concern though. In this case for instance, the law in her country of origin creates a strong disequilibrium between us. Being on equal terms is, if not the most important, then one of the most important things in a relationship. Of course thats just my opinion.

I suspect she'll pretty shocked. But she should know the truth.

She will. Shes a nice girl and she deserves to know what the problem is.

Stay away from emotional girls. Or you'll end up hurting many women, Mr. Spock.

Emotion is all good and well, I enjoy displaying it my self. This isn't about emotions, this is about the relationship not being on fair ground for both parties to begin with.

I originally gained this concern because she told me about a friend of hers, that got monthly child support from a guy in Norway, that was higher than her moms salary -- and that it was pretty sweet, because then she didn't have to work. She could just be a good mother. If being at home all the time can be considered a good example to set for your kid. I want no part of a regime like that.
dtaylor5632 18 | 2,007
17 Dec 2010 #48
It would seem like it's a valid concern though. In this case for instance, the law in her country of origin creates a strong disequilibrium between us. Being on equal terms is, if not the most important, then one of the most important things in a relationship. Of course thats just my opinion.

It is not a valid concern. You don't start relationships with the thought of how much compo will their government take from me.
Where are you originally from?

this is about the relationship not being on fair ground for both parties to begin with.

Mate, seriously you are making urself look a fool. Nobody on earth enters a relationship with the split already in mind. Plus, wear a freaking condom if its such a concern!
OP scguy 1 | 19
17 Dec 2010 #49
Mate, seriously you are making urself look a fool. Nobody on earth enters a relationship with the split already in mind. Plus, wear a freaking condom if its such a concern!

Okey, I realize that it might have been unclear in the original post.

The concern about this law related issue has come up AFTER I started seeing her, WHILE we were waiting for test results to come back. And I reiterate: it is STANDARD PROCEDURE for me, to insist on a full barrage of tests before having sex. And no, I don't do one night stands for this very same reason.

And to quote my self:

I originally gained this concern because she told me about a friend of hers, that got monthly child support from a guy in Norway, that was higher than her moms salary -- and that it was pretty sweet, because then she didn't have to work. She could just be a good mother. If being at home all the time can be considered a good example to set for your kid. I want no part of a regime like that.

It was after she made this explicit statement a few days ago I became concerned with the law on the area. It's not really HER intentions that concern me. But there is a saying: hell knows no fury like a woman scorn. And I'd prefer not to have a scorn woman on my ass, with the law to back it. Which I would in case a child became involved and we left each other.

Mate, seriously you are making urself look a fool. Nobody on earth enters a relationship with the split already in mind. Plus, wear a freaking condom if its such a concern!

As previously (clearly) stated, then I only have sex wearing a condom AND with a girl that is taking birth control. You can never be too safe in these matters.
delphiandomine 88 | 18,475
17 Dec 2010 #50
Is it a fixed amount of money based on Salary, or is it a judge that sticks his wet thumb in the air, and says "hohoho, you pay 10000 euros / month to this child's mother from now on"?

If you're so paranoid, the pill, plus the coil, plus wearing two condoms should ensure no risk whatsoever. Or you could do the responsible thing and simply not sleep with the girl if you aren't willing to risk it financially.

And I reiterate: it is STANDARD PROCEDURE for me, to insist on a full barrage of tests before having sex.

Right, so if it's standard procedure for you to insist on full testing, you should know that HIV tests should be done initially between 2 to 12 weeks, then again after 6 months to ensure a negative test result.

I suppose you, as your STANDARD PROCEDURE will be waiting six months?

For what it's worth - a Polish judge is going to **** you over royally - end of story. No different to how the CSA would treat a Polish man in the same situation.
OP scguy 1 | 19
17 Dec 2010 #51
Right, so if it's standard procedure for you to insist on full testing, you should know that HIV tests should be done initially between 2 to 12 weeks, then again after 6 months to ensure a negative test result.

I'm aware that this can never be fully tested, but you're still able to test for everything else within a few weeks.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,385
17 Dec 2010 #52
then I only have sex wearing a condom AND with a girl that is taking birth control.

how do/will you know she is taking the pill ? are u going to be there when she takes it ?

or do u have something planned during foreplay ?
wildrover 98 | 4,451
17 Dec 2010 #53
give her one up the bum...or find yourself a man...it will be cheaper in the long run...
delphiandomine 88 | 18,475
17 Dec 2010 #54
I'm aware that this can never be fully tested, but you're still able to test for everything else within a few weeks.

Doesn't matter. If you're serious about your STANDARD PROCEDURE, then you won't go near her until after the 6 months date has expired and the second test comes back negative.

But you shouldn't be going near her if you aren't willing to shoulder your financial responsibilities. Polish law, thankfully, has no time for such men.
OP scguy 1 | 19
17 Dec 2010 #55
how do/will you know she is taking the pill ? are u going to be there when she takes it ?

or do u have something planned during foreplay ?

Left to trust, which is why the condoms is there and not birth control on it's own. If the girl decides to pop the pills into the toilet, then at least I've still got control of my part of the agreement.

But you shouldn't be going near her if you aren't willing to shoulder your financial responsibilities. Polish law, thankfully, has no time for such men.

That conclusion was reached an hour or so ago. Thankfully, I don't have to be a subject to Polish Law.
delphiandomine 88 | 18,475
17 Dec 2010 #56
Thankfully, I don't have to be a subject to Polish Law.

That's what you think.

Bear in mind that if she gets pregnant by someone else, it's not beyond the realms of improbable that a Polish court could rule you as the father.
OP scguy 1 | 19
17 Dec 2010 #57
Hah, yea that would be pretty hardcore. "You are here by judged the father. Good luck, have fun!"
delphiandomine 88 | 18,475
17 Dec 2010 #58
You joke, but where foreign legal systems are concerned, especially the Polish system (which is renowned for strange judgements and baffling illogical decisions) - anything can happen.
OP scguy 1 | 19
17 Dec 2010 #59
Indeed. I've heard that a mother was once judged the daughter of the daughter (now mother). Poland is a magical place.
Wroclaw 44 | 5,385
17 Dec 2010 #60
You joke

if she says he is the father and he accepts it as fact it doesn't matter what DNA says.

he has accepted responsibility and that's that.


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