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I want to bring her here but not her son.

xaviersaviour38 1 | -
9 Jan 2018 #1
My girlfriend and I are planning our future together already. I'll be applying for a visa so I could bring her here and we can marry each other. It's a pretty straightforward plan for the both of us because that's how we deal with things all the time. There's one a minor problem with this said scheme, though. She wants to bring her son from an ex-lover with her and I don't want that.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't like the kid. I just don't want to have any delays with the processing of her papers. I know she loves her son a lot, but I also know that bringing her son here would slow down the whole immigration procedure. Maybe one day she can bring him here, but not now.

I was also thinking that if she goes here alone, we can start our own future with just as two. We can send her child money for his needs. I have the money to support his monthly financial needs so she has nothing to worry about. Though, i need to know if my view of things is acceptable. Is it okay to keep her son in her country? Is it more practical to send monthly support?

My brother was in this situation too. He met the girl during a romance tour and he flew her in about half a year later. Up till today, his step son is still not here in the states. Should I just follow his footsteps? I need to know what's the right thing to do in this situation.
johnny reb 29 | 5,120
9 Jan 2018 #2
I was also thinking that if she goes here alone, we can start our own future with just as two.

It doesn't work that way unfortunately.
First, selfish you must realize that a Mothers children will ALWAYS come before there step father........ALWAYS !
Say what you want, believe what you want but that is just the nature of the beasts.
If you love the woman then man up and understand that her child is part of the package.
Joker 2 | 1,641
9 Jan 2018 #3
It seems very creepy to ask a woman to abandon her child. I think its safe to assume she's going to tell him to beat it!

o she has nothing to worry about.

What happens when she wants to see her Son?

Perhaps, you should find a single girl instead of wrecking someone else's family.
cms 9 | 1,271
9 Jan 2018 #4
How could your girlfriend truly love domeone so selfish ? Do you think raising a kid only involves paying for their upkeep ?

Get married and there will be no delay in thr paperwork
mafketis 24 | 9,174
9 Jan 2018 #5
Should I just follow his footsteps?

Quick question: Do you have any morals whatsoever?

1. yes
2. no

If the answer is 2 then go ahead with your plan of having her abandon her child.
9 Jan 2018 #6
I can say this: if you asked that of me you could stick your visa and marriage you know where and forget my name.
Think about this this way:
Do you really want a women that can leave her child behind? What will happen if you become a burden in her new future later on?
johnny reb 29 | 5,120
9 Jan 2018 #7
I wonder what he would do if the roles were reversed and she ask him to move to Poland but leave his little child in the U.S.A. because it would be inconvenient and in her way.
kaprys 3 | 2,502
9 Jan 2018 #8
Does she realise what an a** you are?
Somebody better tell her before she gets stuck with you in a foreign country?
RubasznyRumcajs 5 | 487
9 Jan 2018 #9
lol, what an arsehole OP.
if you don't like the "baggage"- don't take a woman with it.
frankly speaking, she should date a man not a boy.

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