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Birth Certificate Questions (Polish rules require the mother to put down a Polish name?)


thetex
2 Oct 2013  #1
I was not present at my child's birth due to the mother and I having a falling out. We managed to reconcile and everything is going good again. Met my child. I'm very happy. Helping with support and planning a possible future with them. I asked her if my name was on the birth certificate and she said if the father is not present at the birth, polish rules requires the mother to put down a polish name on the certificate and only the first name. So she put down the equivalent in polish my first name and left it at that. For some reason I am uncomfortable with this answer. It feels more as if she just decided to not put me on the birth certificate by saying she didn't know my last name. Which she does. I figure reason for that is she has total say in everything and I have no rights. I'm OK with that as I understand she was angry and hurt at the time but I just want to make sure of things. It's a matter of trust.
delphiandomine 83 | 17,626
2 Oct 2013  #2
She's lying to you.

I suggest a very good lawyer, and fast. And stop paying money without a court order.
OP thetex
2 Oct 2013  #3
Are you sure about this? I need to be 100% sure. My future is at stake here.
szkotja2007 27 | 1,500
2 Oct 2013  #4
She isn't being honest with you.
Once the seed of doubt is sown..............makes you think huh ?
enkidu 7 | 623
2 Oct 2013  #5
Well. There is no legal obligation to put a father's name in the Birth Certificate. I mean - in case when woman is unmarried.

But the informal practice is that the authorities allow mother to put some name in the documents. Even totally unrealeted name. This practice is aim to spare child trauma in later years.

You know - even fictional name entry - let's say "Piotr" - looks much better than "Father unknown", right?
Lenka 2 | 1,411
2 Oct 2013  #6
When mother is married- easy.
When she's not we have few options:
the father and mother agree that man is the father. Father admits his parenthood and mother puts him in the certificate.
the father doesn't want to admit it/ mother doesn't want him there and so on- court case
mother says she doesn't know who the father is and so on- her name is put as the father's name and some random popular first name is put in the certificate.
OP thetex
2 Oct 2013  #7
Guys/gals are you sure of this? I am pulling some info that more or less says it is possible depending on the law of Poland. Here is something about the states

In some states, including California, the only way that an unmarried father's name can be placed on a child's birth certificate is if the father signs a voluntary declaration of paternity. If the father is not present at the hospital following the birth, the mother will not be able to list him as the father on the birth certificate in his absence - the father and mother will instead have to sign the voluntary declaration of paternity at a later time, and have the father's name added to the birth certificate later.

It shows she may be telling the truth (which I really hope).
delphiandomine 83 | 17,626
2 Oct 2013  #8
I don't think it's wise to compare the law of California to the law of Poland, especially as two Poles have already told you the law.
Lenka 2 | 1,411
2 Oct 2013  #9
Since you weren't there to admit your parenthood you couldn't be put in the certificate. The mother could give the Polish version of your first name as a father's first name but not the surname.
OP thetex
2 Oct 2013  #10
So she is telling me the truth :)
Thank you so much.
Lenka 2 | 1,411
2 Oct 2013  #11
I'm glad :) I hope both of you will sort it out and be happy with the decissions you make. Good luck :)
guest00 - | 14
3 Oct 2013  #12
If not a secret, what is your country of origin, thetex? And confession if possible?
pam
3 Oct 2013  #13
And confession if possible?

Why are you asking a question like this, and what do you feel he should be confessing to?
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,671
3 Oct 2013  #14
in other words you left when she was pregnant and she went through the birth etc alone?
I don't know about Poland but in the UK an unmarried father only gets his name on the birth cert if he goes with the mother to register the birth- eg steps up to his responsibilities.

which you patently have not done.
if you want to play happy families go and buy a little dog or something.
kj99 8 | 54
3 Oct 2013  #15
rozumiemnic

if you want to play happy families go and buy a little dog or something.??- WTF??????do you know his curcumstances? - do you know mr or mrstex? - met them have you ? spoken with em ?

ever been in a delivery room as a man , and a supposed father - and been asked to sign a birth certificate not really being sure whether the kid is yours or not?

a woman has the luxury of knowing full well the kid that she gives birth to - IS hers .

the father - watching the proceedings - ,, can only accept that it MAY well be his - unfortutenatly most birth certificates dont have a box to tick - and poland is no different , in which any father can sign / acknowledge ,,, that ,,, well yeah - this one "might be mine" - but just "dont hold me to it." - no such box / no such tick to make

its only when a women is pregnant - a pregnancy she doesnt actually tell you about ,, its when tells you she wants to be a single mum - that you realise you dont really know your women at all -

they do say , you can only really trust someone you know - mrtex , may have been thru some bad times with mrstex - he too , may have realised he doesnt know this women , does not know what she is thinking , does not know whether to trust her and therfore couldnt ...( as you say ) " step up to the mark / to the plate " or whatever cliche you might care to deploy and sign that certificate .

in his circumstances you might have not signed that birth certificate either - would you really want to be present at the delivery of a child which you you might be thinking is not really yours at all ?

just what do you expect him to do now ? - i would have thought getting a dna test / name on birth certificate , involment in the kids life is quite positive ... but as you would say he should go and buy a dog ??????????????..

rozumiemnic have got the luxury of knowing a kid that you might give birth to is definately yours - he ,,, mrtex did'nt - so give him a break a?
rozumiemnic 8 | 3,671
3 Oct 2013  #16
you do NOT have to be present at the birth - I have no idea why this myth is being peddled about - just go with the woman to register the birth if you are not married .

it is not that difficult.
and if you have serious doubts about the paternity - not just paranoia and mistrust - then that is what DNA tests are for.
Besides the OP said he was angry with the woman for not writing in his full name, NOT that he suspected the child was not his.
Magdalena 3 | 1,837
3 Oct 2013  #17
"W przypadku, gdy nie nastąpiło uznanie dziecka lub sądowe ustalenie ojcostwa – i nie zachodzi domniemanie, że ojcem dziecka jest mąż matki – do aktu urodzenia dziecka wpisuje się jako imię ojca – imię wskazane przez matkę (przedstawiciela ustawowego) dziecka. W przypadku gdy matka nie wskaże imienia – dziecko otrzymuje jedno z imion zwykle w kraju używanych, a w rubryce: nazwisko ojca i jego nazwisko rodowe – wpisuje się nazwisko rodowe matki."

That's what the Polish law says on the subject. In cases where paternity had not been admitted or legally established, and the mother is not married, the given name of the father in the birth certificate is the given name declared by the mother; if the mother does not provide a given name, the registrar will use a typical Polish given name instead. The mother's surname and family surname is used in the birth certificate instead of the father's surname and family surname. So it seems the OP's girlfriend did everything by the book.
mochadot18 14 | 241
3 Oct 2013  #18
You know - even fictional name entry - let's say "Piotr" - looks much better than "Father unknown", right?

Not really I find this rule quite stupid and very misleading to have a random name, rather have father unknown to be honest.
enkidu 7 | 623
3 Oct 2013  #19
Stupid? Perhaps.
But law nonetheless. And an old Polish tradition.
mochadot18 14 | 241
3 Oct 2013  #20
I realize that i'm just saying I dont personally like it. And like I stated would rather just have father unknown.
enkidu 7 | 623
3 Oct 2013  #21
Welll... You may personally don't like it. And you may have other different ideas. Let me politely explain it to you - In Poland nobody cares for your personal feelings. Sorry about that.
mochadot18 14 | 241
3 Oct 2013  #22
no sh.it sherlock I'm not saying OMG poland should change the law just for ME. Jesus chillax sorry I thought this was a thread that you could post your own personal opinion on. And I understand that others have different ideas, although i'm Quite sure i'm not the only that feels the way I feel about it.
guest00 - | 14
4 Oct 2013  #23
Why are you asking a question like this, and what do you feel he should be confessing to?

The case looks familiar with the father being a foreigner. Are you not interested what foreigners are doing in/to your country? If the OP is from U.S. with it being such a multicultural country, you can expect him originating from anywhere like the Middle East. If not, you can extend the precedent by analogy to cases where the father comes from just mentioned unfavorable places with hostile faiths and ideologies. What if the father comes from, let's say, Egypt? And with European especially Polish girls being so amorous going for anyone? What then?
delphiandomine 83 | 17,626
4 Oct 2013  #24
Not really I find this rule quite stupid and very misleading to have a random name, rather have father unknown to be honest.

Agreed. It might have been an old tradition so that the village girl could save face, but there's no need for it in modern Poland.
Magdalena 3 | 1,837
4 Oct 2013  #25
there's no need for it in modern Poland.

However, this is neither here nor there as that is how the law works. There are plenty of totally outdated legal regulations both in the US and the UK, go and change those first. ;-p
guest00 - | 14
4 Oct 2013  #26
It might have been an old tradition so that the village girl could save face, but there's no need for it in modern Poland.

At least there was something to be ashamed of and save face from, but now, with delphiandomine's help, it's modern Poland. MODERN poland. MODERN (no more Poland). MODERN.
pam
4 Oct 2013  #27
And with European especially Polish girls being so amorous going for anyone? What then?

It obviously matters to you where he comes from, but I can't see the relevance.
He is just asking questions about his name on the birth certificate.

Related: If my wife is in Poland and gives birth to our baby must I be present to be on the birth certificate?

If my wife is in Poland and gives birth to our baby must I be present to be on the birth certificate?

I don't believe so, but you would have to go to the office of Vital Records and pay extra fees and have two witnesses to add your name on it, also I think the mother has to be there for that and give written consent to have your name added to it after the fact.


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