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Which is better option? Any Indian - Polish couple experience


javed221 4 | 16
19 Jul 2013 #1
Hi am Indian and my fiancee is from Poland. We are planning to get married but my family is against it so am worried about that. We are planning to to get married in India. and live here for 2 to 3 yrs and save money and then Go to Poland or Ireland or UK cause she wont be comfortable to spend forever in India whole life ( you know what i mean) ? What can be other possibilities or easier option ? I mean i can marry her in Poland too. Recently i was refused tourist visa to Poland -.-. ? any similar couple experience will help though.. or even any info about other way..

thank you
teflpuss
19 Jul 2013 #2
How old are you and how long have you known each other, javed?
Monitor 14 | 1,820
19 Jul 2013 #3
I know one married pair. The lived in Dubai for some time, but she had enough of the country, where women are citizens of different category. Now they temporary live in Poland, but she cannot afford to pay for husband from her low income polish salary and he cannot get good job, because doesn't speak Polish. I think people would discriminate Indians in Poland, so you wouldn't feel comfortable here.
OP javed221 4 | 16
19 Jul 2013 #4
@teflpus : I am 23 and we know each other since 4 yrs . .
Tuhin
19 Jul 2013 #5
@ Javed

Dude,Im from India and i have a Polish gf too and we are planning to get married.
How is her english ? hehe :P
Tell me more about your girl :) Coz my gf has some problems with english. She isnt perfect in the language.
teflpuss
19 Jul 2013 #6
javed. London would be your best bet. Nobody would look at you twice there. It's a real melting pot and all the richer for it. Poland can be, well, let's say conservative. You might find people don't see love's young dream the same way you do. Good luck.
OP javed221 4 | 16
19 Jul 2013 #7
@Tuhin : Her english is good. and where you from in India ?
@teflpuss : thanks your point make sense
Bieganski 17 | 896
19 Jul 2013 #8
Poland can be, well, let's say conservative. You might find people don't see love's young dream the same way you do.

You are so right. Polish society's attitude to relationships is the polar opposite to India. Take courtship rituals for example:

"In 2005, two youths poured acid on Laxmi while she was waiting for a bus at Khan market, New Delhi, because she had refused to marry one of them. Her face and body were left disfigured."

Source: The Guardian, 18 July 2013, India's acid attack survivors welcome rules to help stop rise in assaults
guardian.co.uk/global-development/2013/jul/18/india-acid-attack-survivors-compensation
teflpuss
19 Jul 2013 #9
You are so right.

That's why I recommended London, one of the most tolerant cities in Europe. I am well aware that Indian society has many vices, not least of which is its treatment of women (and the poor, and the lower castes). Perhaps that's why these people are thinking about leaving.

Poland, by comparison, is a highly developed rich western country with equality for all, at least in theory. However, I'm sure you'd agree that a mixed race couple in Poland would experience difficulties because of Poland's social conservatism. btw my local city is Białystok, and if you keep up with the news, you'll know where I'm coming from.
OP javed221 4 | 16
19 Jul 2013 #10
@teflpuss : So we can get married in poland and then we should go to UK ? Do I need to come back to india for any kind of paper work ?
teflpuss
19 Jul 2013 #11
You say you've been refused a tourist visa recently and now you want to get married in Poland? I think you should take one step at a time and be prepared for a long process. Also, if your family is against the marriage, bear in mind that you may find yourself without support a long way from home if your plans go tits up. Stay where you are and build up some savings. You are young; there's no hurry.
Tuhin
19 Jul 2013 #13
@ Javed.
Im from Gujarat, from Vadodara to be precise.
Bieganski 17 | 896
19 Jul 2013 #14
However, I'm sure you'd agree that a mixed race couple in Poland would experience difficulties because of Poland's social conservatism. btw my local city is Białystok, and if you keep up with the news, you'll know where I'm coming from.

Tolerance is very different from acceptance. You'll find that even in countries with the most heterogeneous populations there is always an underlying tension. You portray London as the paragon of integration. But this would be to ignore the reality of the situation of "sundown segregation" which you can read more about here:

telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/immigration/9831912/I-feel-like-a-stranger-where-I-live.html

Not only is "white flight" an ongoing problem in London and other areas of the UK but the British press is frequently forced to report (albeit very grudgingly) on Asian sex gangs and their specific targeting of white often underage girls around the United Kingdom.

As far as mixed couples go you can gauge the establishment's position in many different European countries which still have monarchies. Many who call themselves and are recognized as royalty may be willing to marry a commoner but none have yet crossed the Rubicon and married outside their own race. So what do you think this signals to those in the rest of society over whom they rule or will rule in the future?

I think you will find many communities and even entire countries around the world are socially conservative and not just Poland. Perhaps you are familiar with the Jewish term "marrying-out". But this isn't something limited to Jews. On several occasions now I've heard accounts given by non-whites of their conflicted feelings and even anger when their sons or daughters bring home a partner who is from another race or from a different religion.
OP javed221 4 | 16
22 Jul 2013 #15
@Tuhin : Can yu provide me your e mail id ? I want to ask you somethin
Tuhin
25 Jul 2013 #16
@ javed

lavaniyatuhin355@gmail

Sms me your number, dude. My phone number is 09227145110.

I also want to ask you something regarding this.
Rory_waw
27 Jul 2013 #17
If your Polish fiance has ever spent more than 3 months working in another EU country before going to India then you may be entitled to apply for permanent residence as a family member of an EU national. It doesn't matter if your fiance is actually a Pole applying for residence as an EU citizen in Poland. EU law is strange like that! Other than that, it is going to be difficult to get the Polish authorities to give you a visa, as they are discretionary. It will definitely help if you are married for more than a year and living in India before applying. I wouldn't apply for a tourist visa though if i were you. Apply for a 5 year residence permit.
RevokeNice 15 | 1,859
27 Jul 2013 #18
Why the hell do you want to come to Ireland? Unless you are highly skilled or a budding entrepreneur, then Ireland is not a place that you want to come to. If you are, yeah, then you could earn a decent crust.

I think western European countries should come together and show advertisements in countries in which they receive high levels of immigration from - to show that since the crisis hit, life here for new unskilled arrivals is very tough. Life for new arrivals here has changed. It aint like pre 2007 anymore. Where any lad could rock on up and have a minimum wage job or slightly better within 72 hours of landing.

I spent a week in Athens recently - and fcuk me pink. It was an eyeopener. And still lads from the bordering non EU nations pour in. Living conditions were absolutely atrocious for large swathes of the population. I normally wear designer clothes, but shunned them in favour of cheap shorts I picked up and soccer jersies. The poverty was unreal.

You have been refused a tourist visa to a schengen member - that would lead me to believe you are short of coin. You probably wouldnt get into Ireland or the U.K. either. Spend your money on education, skill up and then try and come here via the correct channels.

Thats my advice. Fortress Europe is slowly becoming a reality. Countries are slowly pulling the drawbridge up - for humanitarian reasons just as much as nationalist ones.
Monitor 14 | 1,820
29 Jul 2013 #19
I spent a week in Athens recently - and fcuk me pink. It was an eyeopener. And still lads from the bordering non EU nations pour in. Living conditions were absolutely atrocious for large swathes of the population. I normally wear designer clothes, but shunned them in favour of cheap shorts I picked up and soccer jersies. The poverty was unreal.

Could you say more details about what shocked you in Athens exactly? How the poverty looks like there?
RevokeNice 15 | 1,859
30 Jul 2013 #20
The sheer number of homeless people on the streets. The number of boarded up businesses and houses. The litter. The dilapidated suburbs. The amount of open drug dealing and prostitution. People rummaging around in waste grounds for scrap to sell. The number of soup kitchens and the queues outside.

We have all of the above in my country, albeit on a smaller scale. But nothing compared to whats going on in Greece.


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