I don't think its realistic to assume that the man I find is going to be irresistibly attractive.
Ahh, but it is all in the eye of the beholder. On one hand, you don't want an uber attractive guy, but you also imply that only those turn you on.
Keep looking until you find something else in a man that is sexy, besides his looks. Take your time. It looks like you're ready to make some bad compromises.
If you marry a man that you are not attracted to, you're making a bed both of you are going to have to sleep in. Pun intended.
Most of the time, men who are looking for casual sex are not that interested in a relationship,
Oh, Polka, practically all men, even the "good ones" are looking for sex.
They all hope for a relationship that will be a steady and comfortable (but exciting) source of it.
If they tell you they are not interested in a relationship, then you are not the one.
Probably the easiest way to get a man is with sex. But you have to mean it, feel it, and want it. Otherwise you are just trading it and .. you know what that is called.