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Asking a Polish man to marry me...

HerforHim 1 | 2
22 Oct 2015 #1
Hi there!

I am a Canadian woman in a relationship with a Polish man. I am planning on asking him to marry me and I'm wondering what the custom is surrounding engagement. Where I'm from it is customary to ask the parents for permission. Is that common in Poland? His parents live in Poland and we live in Canada.

Also what is a customary Polish wedding ring for a man?

Thank you for your help!
Ziemowit 13 | 4,381
22 Oct 2015 #2
That would be quite strange in Poland where it is the man who asks the woman to marry him. Be careful about what you want to do.
jon357 67 | 16,900
22 Oct 2015 #3
Asking the parents would very much not be as good idea if a woman proposes to a man anywhere. Very dated in Europe even the other way round anyway, since an unmarried woman is no longer considered to be under the protection and authority of her father.

As Ziemowit said, it isn't traditional in Poland, however traditions aren't written in stone, it has doubtless happened often, not all Poles are the same, and since you're from somewhere else, Polish traditions are only half of the story at most and probably much less.

But yes, be careful, raise the subject tactfully and test the water first to see what his views are on marriage in general and where you're heading as a couple in particular. Though since you're considering this, you presumably know already.

As for the parents, it isn't their marriage and whether traditional or modern, it would be very odd for them to receive a request like that.
OP HerforHim 1 | 2
22 Oct 2015 #4
Thanks for the help! Yes I've brought it up in a round about way. He may beat me to the punch of asking me first but I want to be prepared anyway.

Ok so no asking his parents (we've never met).

What about a man's engagement ring in Poland? Is there any type of traditional I should keep in mind? I do think we will have a wedding in Poland and probably one in Canada as well so I want to make sure that his ring is appropriate.
Veles - | 164
23 Oct 2015 #5
Men do not wear engagement rings.
jon357 67 | 16,900
23 Oct 2015 #6
It would be unusual, but there's always room for that if the couple in question want it.
Atch 16 | 3,295
23 Oct 2015 #7
I've also never heard of a man wearing an engagement ring. However I know that there's a tradition amongst European nobility of exchanging betrothal gifts which persists to this day and would take the form of jewellery. I know of a couple where the girl received a bracelet from her fiancee and she gave him a pair of cufflinks. The gifts were formally exchanged in front of the two families on the day when they held a reception to officially mark the engagement. These customs generally date from a time when marriage was about consolidating property and dynasties, so the gifts had great significance as indicators of the wealth of the two families and the giving of a valuable gift demonstrated the seriousness of the pledge. I'm Irish, married to a Pole and he did the proposing. I had an engagement ring, he didn't.
beckski 12 | 1,617
24 Oct 2015 #8
Very romantic idea for the female to propose marriage in any relationship.
I say go for it!
OP HerforHim 1 | 2
28 Oct 2015 #9
Thanks for the information. Atch I find in Canada that no men wear engagement rings but I just thought it would be strange to propose marriage without one? I like the idea of exchanging gifts. In front of parents is hard to do because of the distance but a way could be figured out.

I don't want this to be a "marry me, now buy a ring" situation and I think it would be strange to purchase myself an engagement ring.
Rafal - | 25
28 Oct 2015 #10
What do you want to make him to do. ...And who you want to marry... When you want a MAN just ask him to act like ...or even try. When you want a supporter for few years ...make him. Its easy. With everynation

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