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So I'm an Arab Muslim and freaking out! I'm about to meet my Polish girlfriend's parents


abu3issa 14 | 42
20 Dec 2012  #1
So, I've met this Polish girl one day, sadly her vacation to the middle east was too short. We stayed in touch for years now and I'm finally going to visit her in July 2013. I'm Arab Muslim from Hadhramout and she's a Polish Muslim. Honestly, I'm very scared. Her parents are not Muslim and they disapprove Islam. I truly value family ties, how do I impress her parents!?

They are highly educated people and I have great admiration for them from what I heard from her, and I want to gain their approval.. badly xD
Zibi - | 336
20 Dec 2012  #2
how do I impress her parents!?

Very simple: convert to christianity! :-)
OP abu3issa 14 | 42
20 Dec 2012  #3
lol
Let's not debate religions :P
Any other advice that doesn't require me, her or them to change religions?
Zibi - | 336
20 Dec 2012  #4
Her parents are not Muslim and they disapprove Islam.

Did you not notice what you wrote?
OP abu3issa 14 | 42
20 Dec 2012  #5
It's a challenge, not an impossibility. They are good people, regardless of how they feel about Islam, they don't HATE Islam, they just disagree about it with us. No one would want their kids to have a different faith than theirs. It's only natural. But I still want to do my best for her and for them. If you've met someone you felt "THE ONE", wouldn't you want to do your absolute best for that person? :)

I'm just asking for some advice, some things that majority of Polish parents admire in their children's companions. I just want to understand the mindset of Polish parents.
poland_
20 Dec 2012  #6
Any other advice that doesn't require me, her or them to change religions?

Be yourself and don't try too hard, if you do they will see you are a fake...

If they are educated people then they will value openness and dialogue, their daughter has already converted to islam.
Did she convert during the time you have known her?
yehudi 1 | 432
20 Dec 2012  #7
Her parents are not Muslim and they disapprove Islam.

What about your parents? Are they OK with you marrying a christian? Does she want to live in Hadhramout? Does she like spicy Yemeni food?

You got a lot of issues to resolve.
MoOli 9 | 484
20 Dec 2012  #8
yehudi
I think it doesnt matter in his case.Man is the head of the family in ISLAM:D
OP abu3issa 14 | 42
20 Dec 2012  #9
First, she converted before knowing me.

Second, I'm Hadhrami, not Yemeni. I'm only Yemeni due to political reasons, Yemen is a great culture and great history and I don't have the right to claim myself as a Yemeni. I'm a Hadhrami, which like a Yemeni have our own culture and history.

And I don't think that we Hadhramis nor my Yemeni brothers are famous for spicy food. I think you are mistaken us with Indians. Although I truly admire you for realizing I carry a Yemeni nationality. Most people wouldn't even know what Hadhramis is.

We already talked about the issues. She wants to study all the way to Ph. D. which is why she's asking me to move permanently to Poland. That's a whole level of scary for me, but I want to do this for her and so help me God. I'm just worried about surviving there and work, not the lifestyle and culture or religion though.

I think that man being head of the house is also in Judaism and Christianity. So it has nothing to do with us being Muslim. Also, being head of the house is overrated, it just means that I am screwed for having more responsibilities :P
phtoa 9 | 236
20 Dec 2012  #10
I think that man being head of the house is also in Judaism and Christianity. So it has nothing to do with us being Muslim. Also, being head of the house is overrated, it just means that I am screwed for having more responsibilities :P

You sound like a very intelligent guy, so religion a side I believe you'll do just fine with her parents don't worry so much about it buddy!
poland_
20 Dec 2012  #11
That's a whole level of scary for me, but I want to do this for her and so help me God. I'm just worried about surviving there and work, not the lifestyle and culture or religion though.

we are about to enter 2013 its a very different Poland to 1993, it is not going to be easy especially if you do not speak Polish with this in mind I would suggest you find an intensive polish language.

Regarding her parents - all good parents wish to see their children happy and peaceful in their lives. Learn Polish and you will be 70% of the way there.

Good luck with the move.
InWroclaw 89 | 1,915
20 Dec 2012  #12
That's a whole level of scary for me

You should be scared -- the roads here ain't good at all if you drive (as I do only occasionally and for that reason) plus some areas of Wrocław have one bus an hour. I will never again complain about village bus services in Hertfordshire.
OP abu3issa 14 | 42
20 Dec 2012  #13
Thank you very much :D I feel very confident now.
berni23 7 | 379
20 Dec 2012  #14
Unfortunately you will have to learn to live with that attitude. Poland is pretty much a 3rd word country when it comes to foreigners and tolerance.

A lot of those are from small villages and have never been further away than the next village, where they received a comparable treatment.
TheLox - | 50
21 Dec 2012  #15
It doesn't matter what her parents think. You can't stop love.
OP abu3issa 14 | 42
21 Dec 2012  #16
Thank you all very much.
You've helped me a lot.
imano 10 | 42
21 Dec 2012  #17
@abu3issa: you're welcome (i didn't even contribute! :D)
Levi_BR 6 | 220
8 Jan 2015  #18
she's a Polish Muslim. Honestly, I'm very scared. Her parents are not Muslim and they disapprove Islam.

So Basically you converted her.
pam
8 Jan 2015  #19
First, she converted before knowing me.

Nyx1986
24 Jan 2015  #20
There are two ways this can go: they can either not care or they'll hate you because you converted their little girl. From what you've said so far the second option is far more likely. It may not necessarily be true but that is how they see it. Poland is a catholic country and they still hold very traditional beliefs. However despite what some people think we are not primitive we simply think that we should stick to our own.

An example of this would be my mother: she left Poland and came to England. She married an englishman and had me and my brother. My grandmother has always strongly disliked my father, despite the fact he bought her a flat when her other daughter kicked her out. She just doesn't think he's good enough for my mother, she adores me and my brother but to this day she dislikes my father. I've dated polish boys whose parents loathed me because I'm half british and I'm a career girl, it's not traditional in Poland.

The best you can do is what my father calls 'damage control' accept that they don't like you and don't obviously try and change their minds (they'll see this as an act and hate you even more). Only time will tell if they ever truly accept you. For now as you know they don't like your religion don't rub it in their faces, act respectfully and if they want you to say grace or anything just smile and nod (I doubt they will but it shows that you respect their beliefs enough to put aside your own for a few hours). I hope this helps.
Crow 137 | 7,588
25 Jan 2015  #21
More questions follow. What when chemistry expires and only reality remains?


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