I did everything to save our relationship though but he is now putting up a wall on me. he tells me what he wants and if i cant do it then i wont be with him. I guess ill just give all my love for our child. I really tried to tolerate everything already.
You said it. I take back what I said earlier, because I didn't have the information about him being a psychopath (I am not using that word lightly - that is what he is).
He will manipulate, force, threaten, insult and basically do anything at all to get his own way.
His own way will only ever be the whim of a moment - what he thinks he needs in order for everything to be 'ok' in his world.
You are not really you - you are just what he sees you as, and a pawn in the game. He is incapable of really caring or loving, or in any way taking your well-being and feelings into consideration.
His sadistic comments about the child and your mother are very, very clear indicators that he is a psychopath. It is possible that when the child is born he will change and transfer his 'love' to the child, but it is also possible that he will reject the child and you, or worse.
Look, he is like a loco horse, I'm afraid. He might be very attractive, very engaging, and exhilarating, but he has got something wrong with him. He is a very bad apple, however rosy he might look. He is rotten and ruined, and you should get yourself and your child absolutely as far out of his life as you can.
Actually, you should be happy and grateful that he has rejected you, because life with him would become so unbearable that your own life would be in tatters. You wouldn't be able to be your self at all, you wouldn't be able to feel happy and normal being with friends and family, and you would probably even end up in physical danger. You would go through extreme emotional pain and hardship - and for what? Making a psycho unhappy?? (because he will always ultimately be unhappy and not have what he wants - apart from when he is putting heads in the post to India for real)
- Stop trying to please him and do what he wants. From this moment onwards completely stop considering his 'feelings' or what he wants.
- Do not listen to his pleading, threatening, insulting or monstrous imagined scenarios. He is sick. Switch him off like an unsavoury film. That is not your life, not your channel.
- If he is now begging re: the court and childcare, just send him a text message saying that if he agrees to 2,000 zl., that will be fine, but he will need to get that on paper at the notary within a week, otherwise the offer goes to 3,000.
I don't think you should be run out of the country because of him, but I do think you should consider very very seriously why you are in Poland, and if it is the best place for you to be. You could be in another European country, or you could be at home with your parents to start with. I can't see what support and family you have in Poland, and am not sure why you are trying to make your way there. You need to divorce him and close the chapter of your life with him. Ideally, you need to never see him again, and as far as your child is concerned, find someone else to be his or her father.
As for him accepting his other children and not yours, if that is how he has started, that will always be an issue. He is happy with what he has. He feels the child is being forced on him. And, have you considered that he might not want a mixed race child? I am not trying to say he feels like that, but you will know what his feelings are.
When he married you, he didn't know what he was doing. With his reaction to your pregnancy, he also doesn't know what he is doing. That he is a successful lawyer is horribly credible, because he doesn't have normal feelings, and everyone's lives are just a game to him. He is used to being in power, used to being able to change people's lives, and he likes that power. He doesn't like not getting what he wants.
He is a total, complete write-off, a nightmare - a hellish person. Get yourself and your family away from him. I can't say that more strongly. And yes, of course you are being abused emotionally - and there is a BIG chance that down the line, that will turn to physical abuse as well. GET OUT NOW AND BE SO HAPPY YOU ARE NOT WITH HIM. HURRAY. GO AND THANK YOUR LUCKY STARS.
And to be honest, if he doesn't even pay 1 groszek, that is still ok - what you REALLY need is for him to be GONE.
Trust me on this one. Have a care for your life, and the child's, and for your parents' happiness.