Thanks...wouldn't that be too scandalous for his career?
I'll try to do anything. Not that I want to get in big trouble with him but if I have no choice I think I'll do what I can
So where are you living now? Somewhere on the 1k a month, 4 months pregnant?
Ok, you have three things to deal with here:
- The emotional upset of him marrying you then suddenly dumping you as you are pregnant, and wanting to kill your joint child, and not supporting you in pregnancy (that is a big one)
- The financial/practical issue of how to support yourself and be ok and have a home on your own in a foreign country, pregnant for the first time (and recently dumped)
- The anger no doubt you feel about him having 30k per month, less 3 k for previous kids, and only giving you 1k (that is bad) (I would be cross)
- The responsibility as the only loving parent at the moment (although that could and probably will change once the kid is here) of thinking about stable home to bring child into.
You have A LOT on your plate, and now your parents have gone, and you are alone in coldening Poland. You poor thing ; (
- For now, think about how he must have loved you to marry you, and how this pregnancy has for some reason thrown him, and how he needs time, and for the baby to be born for him to come to himself and work out his feelings. I think maybe he will want contact with you and the baby, and everything is possible, so just hold on and try not to be upset. You have done nothing wrong, and he just has a funny bone and this has taken him wrongly ... so bide your time. Poczekaj, as they say. Be patient.
- In your pregnant state, stability of home and emotions is important, so your baby will be happy and everything will be good. I think you have a case for meekly asking him for more generous financial support at the moment - lay it out on paper, your outgoings, your needs, etc, and see where that gets you.
I don't think you should be working, but I don't know who you are or what you do. If there is something you could do by email/online/etc. then try to do that, because any money you can earn is your independence and security for you and your child.
- Make some friends, and surround yourself with people who are on your side. Have two or three women ready to come with you for the birth, or get your mother or other family member lined up. Be self-sufficient and organised. You will need support after the birth.
- Plan to be honest, decent, and undemanding, as far as the father is concerned. Be firm that you will have the baby, but wait for him to come to you. Gently and fairly frequently remind him that you love him, are having his child, and are waiting for him.
And if he doesn't come round, then focus on your lovely child and both your futures. You will need to decide whether you stay in Poland or go back to Asia, but either way, the child is a gift, and it would be great if he could understand and share that, but if he doesn't, then you and your family and future husband will.
You can't force him to do anything. You can divorce him yourself. But I would wait until the baby has been here a while before you make any decisions at all. This kind of situation is one where it could all change.