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Is this more related to being raised in Polish culture, or a medical psychiatric disorder?


PolkaTagAlong 10 | 186
25 Jul 2012  #1
I ask this because I inherited this from my grandmother, who was raised in a Polish family, but I am suspicious of the fact that I am like this because I was ignored/shunned in school a lot for being quiet. We both thrive on negative attention, with the difference being that she liked to turn everyone against each other and sit back and watch the show, while I like the attention to be more directed at me and I like to fight with people, because if I don't fight with other people, I fight with myself and feel like I have all these disagreeing sides to myself. When I was young people would often comment that I have a lot of opposing thoughts and that I was extremely defensive lol. My father is just like his mother and will try to get everyone in the family to disagree and have drama with each other, especially when he's miserable.

What I'm asking is, is this a thing that happens a lot in Polish culture? Have any Polish people on here ever had experiences like this in their family?

Being hated by other people and being thought of as things like "scandalous" or "rebellious" or "disagreeable" literally makes me feel good. Entertainment for me is having a big dramatic verbal fight or tirade with people and defending myself or my beliefs. It's like getting a massage or watching a really good movie. The bigger the drama and the deeper it goes, the more euphoric it makes me feel. When I was in high school and my new womanly looks and rich style created a sensation it made me so excited and bold I felt like a new superior person that was oppressed by all these inferior losers. Having fights and envrious enemies was better to me than having friends. Having a million boys after me and teasing them all and rejecting them was better than having an actual boyfriend. I loved to have all these intellectual arguments with authority or teacher and have a lot of people listening in. I loved to say just enough to make myself interesting but mysterious. I'd try to make myself come across to people in a certain way. My biggest act was playing the mysterious, oppressed woman who says and does things you wouldn't expect, and has all these sides to her. When people stopped talking and caring about me, I fell into a severe depression and started doing harmful things, like not eating to be as skinny as a skeleton and huffing hairspray so that I would feel like I was in a trance.

I loved chaotic situations, like fire drills and natural disasters, because I liked to see people struggling when everything is not like it should be.

This is not something that just came to be, when I was little I couldn't find a single friend that I actually got along with, and I preferred playing alone, because I didn't like other children's ideas. I would also make up these big dramatic lies to people to see how they would react, but they were so realistic I often got adults to believe me. I think that my attention seeking dramatic behavior is probably something I inherit, with my personal experiences giving it it's own little "touch." I'm just not sure if it's a "mental illness" though in a medical sense. It could just be a cultural tendency that was worsened by my negative experiences with other kids in school.

I wouldn't say I like completely negative attention, for example, when I was a teenager I like to be viewed as some kind of sinful vixen, but I wouldn't want to be viewed as a whore. Getting positive attention to me was one of the most embarrasing things that could happen, I couldn't accept compliments.
kaz200972 2 | 229
25 Jul 2012  #2
Nothing to do with culture! Just typical adolescent attention seeking. You will grow out of it probably when you get out into the big wide world!..!
isthatu2 4 | 2,708
25 Jul 2012  #3
+1
God, the navel gazing me me me generation are pretty fekking pathetic arnt they......
OP PolkaTagAlong 10 | 186
25 Jul 2012  #4
Nothing to do with culture!

But I wonder why my grandmother and father, who are adults would thrive on negative attention too.
Patrycja19 63 | 2,700
4 Nov 2012  #5
I think theres a whole lot more underlying , I wont elaborate here.

People become negative because of negative experiences. lack of love, other situations. hopefully thats not the case
but if someone feels ignored they tend to lean towards the negative side.

I think you know why, you just didnt want to discuss it here possibly. but just remember you dont have to be that way to

get attention, and soon it will backfire and cause those who do care about you to back away and you dont want that.
if you feel you need to talk to someone further I suggest you do before it spirals. you seem like you want help, otherwise
you wouldnt have posted it. so I strongly suggest you gather your thoughts on what you really want and get this fixed asap.
OP PolkaTagAlong 10 | 186
10 Nov 2012  #6
I wasn't indicating that I wanted help, I just think it seems to be a funny quirk that runs in the family. I am overly emotional, and I tend to exagerrate things a lot in the moment, so I wasn't really serious about these things when I posted them. I was wondering if it is cultural, that's why I asked on here. I've heard Polish people tend to be overly emotional, and sometimes the family members for example won't speak to each other because of disagreements. I was asking people's opinion, and I know that many people would believe that it sounds like a mental illness, because I had to take a psychology class for my degree. I don't have much respect for psychology as a science though.
TheOther 5 | 3,801
10 Nov 2012  #8
When I was in high school and my new womanly looks and rich style created a sensation it made me so excited and bold I felt like a new superior person that was oppressed by all these inferior losers.

Have you tried stand-up comedy? You're a natural... :)
delphiandomine 83 | 17,690
10 Nov 2012  #9
sounds like narcissism:D

Well, she was brought up to be a princess after all..
OP PolkaTagAlong 10 | 186
11 Nov 2012  #10
All young Polish girls are princesses

Have you tried stand-up comedy? You're a natural... :)

Heeyyl naw
delphiandomine 83 | 17,690
11 Nov 2012  #11
All young Polish girls are princesses

I don't think so.
OP PolkaTagAlong 10 | 186
11 Nov 2012  #12
We all that an a pack o crackers and yoouu know it!
TommyG 1 | 361
14 Nov 2012  #13
Is this more related to being raised in Polish culture, or a medical psychiatric disorder?
I think the two go hand in hand:D Just kidding;)

When people stopped talking and caring about me, I fell into a severe depression and started doing harmful things

You need to keep it together. Hopefully these days are all in the past.
Certain traits can run in a family, they are our primary role-models after all. If you've studied Psychology then you won't be any stranger to the whole 'nature v nurture' debate.

Rather than looking outwards for a solution I think you need to look inwards. You won't find your answers in some guy, or from any amount of attention, negative or otherwise.

You need to think about what you really want to do with your life, what makes you happy. Then run with that...
OP PolkaTagAlong 10 | 186
15 Nov 2012  #14
As a warning to everyone taking this thread seriously lol, I stupidly posted it when I was in a very weird PMS mood and wanted to push people's buttons on here and listen to everyone's crazy stories about their Polish family

That was when I was very young and stupid, plus I never intended to harm myself, but I did get harmed. Like I said I think psychology is not a very good field and I don't take it seriously.
TheOther 5 | 3,801
17 Nov 2012  #15
Hey mods, whats up? You are deleting a harmless post of mine and send PolkaTagAlong's answer to the bin even though she admitted that her thread wasn't to be taken serious? In the Off-topic Lounge?
p3undone 8 | 1,135
17 Nov 2012  #16
My bad I just saw insults,did you read hers?
TheOther 5 | 3,801
17 Nov 2012  #17
Read it, laughed it off, forgot about it... :)
It's totally harmless; especially compared to the vile crap that is flying around in the main forum sometimes.


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