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Life in Poland - feeling lonely and don't want to socialize much! (anyone feeling same?)


Kamaz
2 Aug 2015 #61
With new potatoes and a little side salad.
Jardinero 1 | 402
2 Aug 2015 #62
Is there any curing involved?
Roger5 1 | 1435
2 Aug 2015 #63
Totti, when were you last in Białystok? It must have been a very long time ago.
Kamaz, thanks. I'll check out the situation in my local Biedronka.
Jardinero. No.
Jardinero 1 | 402
2 Aug 2015 #64
when were you last in Białystok? It must have been a very long time ago.

I was there a few times in the last year or so... not a pleasant vibe overall and not much going on - those were my impressions... and now it is also the xenophobic capital of the country judging from the press coverage? Which is a real shame given the region's multi-culti roots up until 1939...
Webkot
7 Aug 2015 #65
Hi Luke84
Glad to read you are feeling a bit more positive about things.

When it comes to socialising and villages we have found it a bit of a non starter. Have been here just over 2yrs now. We have neighbours all around but we dont really socialise with them. They are polite and always say hello, we know quite a few and if you are stuck and need a hand they will always offer their help. But we have noticed, especially in our small village that everyone is somehow related and I think keep their socialising in the family. I know we are a bit of a curiosity to them and we know the locals gossip about us because they have told us! But that is no different to village life in any country I think.

We keep in touch with all our friends back in UK via email/skype, fortunately for me and my hubby we are happy with our own company but if you are used to having a wide circle of friends it can be a problem for you. I think the other people on here have given you a lot of sound advice and wish you all the best. We think this place is great, yes you can pay thru the nose in restaurants in the cities but you will find restaurants away from the cities much cheaper. The weather from spring to autumn is glorious (we are in south west Poland) and the winters so far havent been as cold as we expected (lowest minus 18 last winter). I think Poles are more prepared for winter, ie: winter tyres, snow ploughs but we have actually been a bit disappointed at the little snow we have had in the last 2 winters.

We are in our 50's and kind of semi retired so this lifestyle suits us but its all down to what you want from life yourself.

I will give one word of warning. when you do make arrangements be it work or socialising, even if you think you know the person well, dont expect them to be set in stone (especially if they were arranged when drunk) they may or, more likely, may not turn up and will give no explanation as to why the next time you bump in to them!, sorry if I am generalising buts its been a regular occurrence for us and I believe other people on this forum.

When we told our Polish friend in the UK we were moving here she said that we would find Polish people VERY Polish and we kind of get what she means now. We are alike in many ways but very different in others.

Good luck kiddo
InPolska 9 | 1805
7 Aug 2015 #66
@Webkot: absolutely! Poles socialize among their relatives first and friends come much afterwards... It is also so in cities. People shall remain polite but the big majority thereof shall never invite others over, for instance. A main reason why most foreigners stick together.

When I was studying in the US and living in dorms, people around me that were not even among my friends were concerned if I had a place to go to for the Thansgiving dinner for instance and every year, I had a lot of invitations and had to refuse some. Here, completely different. People don't care about the others and if we are alone and in trouble, trudno!

PS: as to the "glorious" weather, it dépends where we are from because for me, the weather is lousy (short and instable summer, long and dark winter).
Webkot
7 Aug 2015 #67
Wow, must be dependent in which part you live in then?. Last Feb my hubby was out chopping wood and was overheating in the sun.

and we are currently experiencing a bit of a drought because of hardly any rain in Spring. Our friends in Uk still have their heating on at the moment, its so cold!
InPolska 9 | 1805
7 Aug 2015 #68
@Webkot: where I spent most of my childhood, there are over 300 days of sun per year and in winter it's normally around 6 to 8. Of course, if you come from England, you think summer in Poland is "great" ;). Summer here is very short, no more than let's say 2 weeks if we add up the days of nice weather (this week is exceptional), a lot of rain, a lot of thunderstorms (last year, in August, in Warsaw, every night big thunderstorm).... The rest of the year is not better ;).
Webkot
7 Aug 2015 #69
Ouch! :(( We obviously picked the right place to live in Poland. Its currently 37 Celsius here and they have been promising 'Burze' most days but havent materialized. Sorry dont know where you used to live but sounds like Texas (hope I havent offended you by that assumption! :))!
Roger5 1 | 1435
7 Aug 2015 #70
currently experiencing a bit of a drought

Dry as Ghandi's flip flops here in the north-east. +32, with +36 forecast this weekend.
I think younger Poles socialize much more than their elders. As for village life, it's much the same everywhere. Old people gossip because they have nothing else to do. We are friendly with several of our neighbours, and exchange produce with them, e.g herbs, potatoes, eggs, strawberries and marrows. A while ago I gave a neighbour's son some prep lessons for his Matura, and the lad's father ploughed our field. And another neighbour took away a few bits of old furniture and a broken washing machine and gave us wine and beer in exchange.

Do you get carol singers?
InPolska 9 | 1805
7 Aug 2015 #71
@Webkot: this is exceptional and it's only for a few days. Sometimes in summer, it rains all the time.
Webkot
7 Aug 2015 #72
No Carol Singers yet but we do get Trick Or Treaters!!
We also get Jehovah Witness knocking the door, which was a bit of surprise! Oh and the odd drunk asking for ciggies!
rozumiemnic 8 | 3856
7 Aug 2015 #73
Sometimes in summer, it rains all the time.

that is odd, whenever I have been to central Europe in the summer, the weather has been hot and sunny....
Webkot
7 Aug 2015 #74
@Inpolska, Dont want rain every day, I can go back to UK for that!
Roger5 1 | 1435
7 Aug 2015 #75
Jehovah Witness

My wife loves these guys. She engages them in conversation and completely ties them up in theological knots. Come to think of it, they haven't been around for ages.

Sometimes in summer, it rains all the time

Yes, we had flooding in our village a couple of years ago in, I think, June or July.
Webkot
7 Aug 2015 #76
Roger5 My husband usually enjoys having a 'chat' with them!! He finds it quite amusing that they always send the young pretty girls to your door, whilst the father/husband keeps a discreet distance, he likens it to Sirens luring sailors on to the rocks!! He is normally very polite but always leaves them with something to go and think about and yes, funnily enough they havent been round for a while either.

InPolska - when you say 'rains every day' do you mean continuous or storms that pass after an hour or so?
Roger5 1 | 1435
7 Aug 2015 #77
I remember a time about five years ago when we were ready to put roofing material on our house. It rained non-stop for two weeks. That was unusual, but it can rain for ages in summer. Wish it would now. Our pumpkins will be wrecked.
InPolska 9 | 1805
7 Aug 2015 #78
@Rozu: I have spent every summer in Poland since 1998 and believe me, some years, it rains almost every day (I remember last August when we had big thunderstorms in Warsaw in the evening almost every day and it was just when I was going home from work;). This year is exceptionnal but it is so not only in Poland but everywhere in Europe (over 40 in many parts of Western Europe).

As to summer in Poland, it's very short and that's why I now don't buy many summer clothes as usually I cannot wear them more than 2 or 3 times. I understand that for Britons it may seem nice but a lot of people are used to better weather.

Everybody keep to the topic please (some posts not connected with the life in Poland were moved to the random chat)
Webkot
7 Aug 2015 #79
@InPolska, Do you have any positive wisdom to pass on to Luke84 to help him adjust to life in Poland?
We naturally compare our experiences to where we have come from but there must be things that keep you here?
Smileitout
8 Aug 2015 #80
Hi Luke,

I'm from Australia and I felt absolutely rotten for the first year in Poland...constantly debating with my husband about moving back home, feeling really low and not knowing how to crawl out of that space (so to speak). We also had a small child and I gave birth to another during our first year in Poland. Then I started teaching English (firstly by word of mouth) and meeting new people. That's when things changed! I started making fantastic friends and getting out and about. People in public still seemed rude to me, that never changed...people are generally cold towards each other in Poland when they don't know each other - I think it's a coping mechanism of some sort. But it didn't seem to bother me anymore knowing I had lots of lovely friends. I have since moved back to Australia, but miss Poland so much so that I would like to return.
Marsupial - | 871
8 Aug 2015 #81
All these stories have the same conclusion. It's what you make of it. So do something, get out of the house, play sport, deface the evil rainbow, adopt a marsupial mouse....anything.
Dougpol1 29 | 2501
8 Aug 2015 #82
deface the evil rainbow, adopt a marsupial mouse....anything.

Sounds very liberal, and alive. Or you can lounge about on a Baltic beach and get a plastic refill every hour or so, while keeping an eye on the cricket on the SkySports App as I intend to.

Or, metaphorically, walk the dog..........
Or Swedes like the OP, and others, can shop, or join the Rotary Club:) So much to do - so little time. Or, in hippy parlance - you could just "be." Michael Caine made a career out of it:)
Marsupial - | 871
8 Aug 2015 #83
Dude don't mention the cricket atm.
Dougpol1 29 | 2501
8 Aug 2015 #84
Sorry! You'll get the little urn back in just 18 months, so fair's fair :)

You can cheer up yourself up in the knowledge that Poles have nothing that's as enthralling as cricket. I recommend it to the OP when he's not looking for his balls in the bushes :)
Marsupial - | 871
8 Aug 2015 #85
Most people would be bored silly by this game. Ever wonder why it took off nowhere but in brit colonies? It's a very closed audience and limited participation. Maybe you could have less pizza next week and teach some poles how to play?
Roger5 1 | 1435
8 Aug 2015 #86
Most people would be bored silly by this game.

Because they don't know the rules. I don't know the rules of American football, but I can believe it is very exciting for those that do. Likewise rounders, the little girls' game, known as baseball in the USA. Granted, a long Test match is not for everyone, but one day, limited overs cricket can be thrilling. Poland has rugby clubs; why not cricket?
Marsupial - | 871
8 Aug 2015 #87
Well mate you don't have to convince me but yeah one day it could work. Still one has to ask why after all this time it is limited to those places only.
tictactoe
8 Aug 2015 #88
warsawcricketclub.pl/

Warsaw cricket club
Roger5 1 | 1435
8 Aug 2015 #89
I always said Poland was a highly civilised country.
drdre815 - | 4
8 Aug 2015 #90
its not easy anywhere in the world,most especially as a stranger in another land entirely but we all try to get through the shackles

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