Unwanted pregnancy in Poland - threats, rights

Hello,

i would like to have some opinions and advice about a situation that i encountered. Thank you in advance for all of you.

i am a foreigner working in Poland. I was in a relationship with a Polish girl. When i was about to end that relationship, she said that she is pregnant. I was protected until she said we were ok since she started getting pill. we waited a while for pills to affect after that we started having sex unprotected. After some times i got suspicious about her behaviors in bed but i preferred trusting her.

when she came up with pregnancy news. i said i wont accept child and dont want to be a father so i offered abortion and sharing the cost. i asked her opinion, she refused. after that moment i said this was her choice and i wont be part of that. i clearly said i wont give any support. i didint ask dna test because i dont want her to think i am interested in the child.

At the beginning she said she didint expect anything from me. But in time our discussion continued and she raised tension. In the result, we came a point that she says it is ok that i wont see child or her in the future but i should provide financial support. And she started threatening me. she says her male relatives will teach me how to behave.

I read some EU and Poland regulations and i saw that if i dont sign birth certificate and dont ask for partner rights, i wont be responsible of anything. Is it right ?

Is there any way that she can force me to do anything, or can she do something without informing me that puts me some difficult situation ? what are the regulations here ? and do these threats mean anything ? What can i do about them ?

I love Poland and Polish people. But this looks like a trap to me. When i searched the net, i saw lots of incidents like this.

i am not interested in religious or conservative comments. Please keep that comments for yourself.

Thank you for all the helps.

She can sue you for child support and the court can rule you have to pay. Simple as that. You may not want to have anything to do with the child but you still have legal responsibilities.

You need to RUN!! Atleast plan on it within a year - that's about how much time you have till it goes through the courts and they can potentially garnish your wages.

... and never trust a thot again...

I wish she has any legal proof of that,as abortion is illegal in Poland.I wonder what are the penalties to encourage,entice or offer any aid to do that.

You will quite rightly have to pay child support and they can bug you for it even if you leave the country. Abortion was not an option for her as it is illegal here.

Your best bet is to negotiate a reasonable settlement with her- however if you plan on no involvement then the amount of cash you pay would probably have to be higher to allow for extra childcare costs.

And therein lies your downfall.

I would insist on a paternity check, women that purposefully deceive men to get access to their resources aren't above outsourcing the actual impregnation....


Traditionally in Poland if singles begin a sexual relationship then the unspoken agreement was that pregnancy would lead to marriage (the percentage of visibly pregnant brides used to be.... very high). Foreigners are usually unaware of this and it leads to.... situations.... that are not..... good.

Oh I hope he will. Easier later in court


How do you know that is what happened? If I didn't want kids that badly I would combine two methods- with preferably one that I control (condoms in the case of a man). Pill is quite easily missed (and I'm talking about accidental not intentional)


Not really. At least not among the people I know.
But most people with 'accidents' are long term relationships anyway so if the pregnancy comes it sometimes speeds things along.

That's what I meant, I'm talking about unconscious attitudes rather than something people talk about. I remember a few years ago at a botanical garden where a lot of couples came to get wedding pictures taken... and every single 'bride' was visibly pregnant.

...and the guy visibly trapped. He should have been on his knee before she was on hers.

@Mad
I'm surprised to be fair. It is not my experience at all. In my area usually the wedding is done when the kid is born and quite oftem walking :)


To the same degree a women is trapped as well

Thank you very much for your answers. You all are saying there is not any way not to give that financial support, even if it is a trap.


I will ask the paternity check if there is a court.


i didint get it . is asking paternity check in court easier ? How ?


I learned that this decision will be effective in all EU countries.

Do you know how much the child support cost is ?

And i would like to ask you guy how the process is ? do i need a lawyer ?

: o it does make for nicer wedding gowns....

Do DNA test

No, having the test result before makes the case easier. Either you are not the father and then that's it or you are and the court won't have to waste the time on that.


The court decides that on the ground of your earnings. It's payable till the kid is 18 or 25 if it goes into the Uni.
The two of you can either agree things between the two of you or the court will decide for you. Lawyer will of course help you.

@Maf
Oh yes :)
On one wedding I've been to the kid was incorporated into the first dance.

You mean being pregnant?
BTW, I wonder how many women would agree to letting the guy end up with the baby.
Here, take care of it and have a nice life. Bye. And don't forget to send me graduation pictures.

Id imagine a polish civil courts jurisdiction is limited to the country. I dont see how they could garnish wages if youre living and working in another country.

Then again the eu has some really wacky laws and regulations. Youre better off asking an attorney for advice, not a forum. You need to find a lawyer that deals wity divorce, family matters, civil law, etc.

Most lawyers will provide free consultation and you can hire one on retainer. You pay a small monthly fee and whenever you need them theyre there.

There's cross-border enforcement in Poland, so a legal ruling in Poland can be enforced all over the EU, although the local courts ultimately decides if it's enforceable or not.

Unpaid alimony is now a pretty serious criminal offence here too.

Unfortunately Grandpa and Grandma are the ones that usually end up raising the child of an unwanted pregnancy.
The money part is not the big issue in raising a child, it is the self sacrifices, love, understanding, time and energy, patience and guidance that it takes.

True, but without money it's that much harder.

That's why grandparents can sue for child support if they are raising the kid. Interesting fact- grandparents can also be sued for child support if the parent refuses to pay.

Plus it seems the girl wants the kid so no reason why grandparents will have to raise it

So, did our hypothetical woman ask "HIM "does he wants that kid?


Nah, you're going to pay regardless what it was, that is the way it works.

What are you on about? What hypothetical women?

A woman - not women. I'm asking who has the right to decide to deliver a child a woman or a man or both?

Since only a women can be pregnant and deliver a baby- it's her decision. If the medicine comes to the point where the pregnancy can be transfered to someone else and the man will find someone to do it for him- go ahead, he can have the baby

Children deliver themselves. All you have to do is wait. Women do not have an on-off switch.

So it her responsibility too - right? If a man has not say, doesn't have to pay. No taxes without vote.

No - in Poland she has no choice in the matter; once conceived abortion is illegal

He does. He voted "yes" when he shoved it in. Not knowing how babies are made is not a valid excuse.

Legally she has no say in it either and the OP already commited a crime by trying to convince her to abortion.
I was talking more about my personal view. And a kid is not a tax.

Who cares about legally and about OP which is more likely than not a troll or a dick.
I ask you about your opinion.


It is if the state force you to pay.

Really? I didn't know that - it's a useful word of warning for a guy I know who is planning to do a runner.