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Getting married in Poland (documentation, church)


bethanyxx 2 | 11
26 Jun 2013  #1
Hi,
Myself and my polish boyfriend want to get married hopefully next year in Poland. My problem is i just don't know where to start.. First of all can a non catholic marry in a catholic church?? What sort of documentation do we need to get married in Poland.. How i go about booking a church to the venue and transport for my family from hotel to church etc.. I have rang the polish embassy in England and they were of no help i have also rang British embassy in Warsaw and again they was of no help.. I have also spoken to a polish priest from where i live in UK and again he didn't help and i didn't understand his English either.. So please is there anybody here that can point me in the right direction of where to start??

We are planning to marry in Zgierz, £odz

Thank you
smurf 39 | 1,982
26 Jun 2013  #2
Best thing to do would be get in touch with the parish priest of the town/area you are from. They will know all the procedures.
OP bethanyxx 2 | 11
26 Jun 2013  #3
I have spoken to a polish priest who is the local one at the polish centre in Leeds.. so would we have to speck to one in the church we want to get married in in poland?

thanks
Harry
26 Jun 2013  #4
First of all can a non catholic marry in a catholic church??

Usually it's not too much of a problem but can vary according to the views of the individual priest.

What sort of documentation do we need to get married in Poland.

Not that much really, have a look here: gov.uk/marriage-abroad/y/poland/uk/uk_england/partner_local/opposite_sex

so would we have to speck to one in the church we want to get married in in poland?

Yes, he's going to be the key man in all this.

How i go about booking a church to the venue and transport for my family from hotel to church etc.

Lots of visits to Poland.
OP bethanyxx 2 | 11
26 Jun 2013  #5
Thanks.. we are going to poland in september but i heard you got to book a wedding at least one year in advance to get a good date as i want to marry next year in the summer.. is this true?
Harry
26 Jun 2013  #6
Depends where and when you want to book. I can tell you that in Warsaw the more desirable places are usually booked a year in advance for the more desirable dates.
smurf 39 | 1,982
26 Jun 2013  #7
so would we have to speck to one in the church we want to get married in in poland

Yes, as Harry says, he's the most important part of the equation.

one year in advance to get a good date

For a church no, sure the Polish authorities only realease certain documentation 3 months before a wedding. You won't have a prob organising a church.

But regarding a hotel/band/good photographer etc...then you will need to start looking soon.......

It depends on what

Zgierz, £odz

is like. But because it's so close to £odz you prob won't have a big problem booking a hotel/band etc.

A friend of mine here married an atheist Welsh man a few years back, they were required to perform a civil ceremony in Cardiff before they came here for the 'proper' Polish wedding. You may have to do the same, but you'll need to ask your parish priest about it.
Monitor 14 | 1,821
26 Jun 2013  #8
forummigracyjne.org/files/286/ulotka%20slub%20w%20polsce_en-ok.pdf
OP bethanyxx 2 | 11
26 Jun 2013  #9
So would it be better to have civil wedding in uk then get married in poland?? I mentioned this to my partner and he said you can't do that as u can only marry once in Catholic Church
delphiandomine 83 | 17,596
26 Jun 2013  #10
Usually it's not too much of a problem but can vary according to the views of the individual priest.

It seems to depend entirely on your relations with a priest - if you know a friendly one, then it's not a problem. Otherwise, expect a bureaucratic muddle.
Harry
26 Jun 2013  #11
So would it be better to have civil wedding in uk then get married in poland??

It might be a bit easier from the paperwork point of view.

I mentioned this to my partner and he said you can't do that as u can only marry once in Catholic Church

He's wrong. Back before Poland and the Vatican signed the Concordat, Poles would have to have a civil wedding in order to be legal married and then a church wedding in order to be married in the eyes of the church.
OP bethanyxx 2 | 11
26 Jun 2013  #12
Would I have to go for hours of endless bible sessions and convert to catholic?
FUZZYWICKETS 8 | 1,884
26 Jun 2013  #13
Bethanyxx wrote:

Would I have to go for hours of endless bible sessions and convert to catholic?

i'm american and got married in poland to my polish wife.....with a twist.

after looking into it and realizing how unbelievable the whole process was to do for a foreigner start to finish in poland, we went a different route.

we knew we'd be moving to the USA and having an American marriage certificate would be ideal, so we flew to the USA, had a civil marriage (which required nothing more than my wife's passport and $50 for the marriage certificate from the municipality, not to mention didn't require a K-1 VISA because we both lived in Poland), then came back to Poland and started paperwork in order to just have a wedding in a catholic church in Poland. First step is finding your church and then throwing money at the priest, then doing all the pre-wedding brainwashing classes (pre-cana) at a church where they tell you a bunch of $hit nobody actually believes in or cares about anymore because we're in the 21st century, and after that we gave our Brainwashing 101 certificate to the priest and had our wedding there. oh, and i had to provide all my documentation, translated into polish, for my baptism, communion, and confirmation because if i wasn't a true catholic (at least on paper....har-dee-har-har), he wasn't havin' it. anyway, that was enough to satisfy jesus at the time. what it would have taken to do the whole shibang in Poland, i don't even want to think about. they were talking 6 months time with the review process and whatever else.

have the wedding in Poland, though. it's awesome, assuming you got the money to do it right.
OP bethanyxx 2 | 11
26 Jun 2013  #14
thanks.. we really want to marry in poland as obviously its soo much cheaper than here in england.. i have said to my boyfriend about getting married here but hes adamant about doing it in poland.. gosh why are these things so complicated.. what would be the fist thing i do then ?

thanks
Polsyr 6 | 769
26 Jun 2013  #15
I am a non-Catholic person that married a Catholic person in a Catholic church in Poland.

Like others said before, it entirely depends on the individual priest that will marry you. We heard VERY different answers from different priests. We even heard 3 different answers from 3 priests in the same church. One of them declined to marry us all together, the second one had a lot of conditions, the third one (who actually married us) asked for the things listed below.

But in general, most agree on the following requirements:

- You (the non-Catholic person) need to bring some form of proof that you are single from a Catholic church in your place of residence. This was not possible in our case, so the priest demanded that I bring 2 witnesses that have known me for at least 10 years to testify that I am not married to another person. He also asked for our civil marriage certificate (we had our civil marriage 3 years before) as additional proof that I am not married to someone else.

- The Catholic partner must undergo premarital training/workshop/preparation (whatever you want to call it) at some Catholic church. This is usually a one or two day workshop.

- The Catholic partner must present his/her baptism certificate and marriage license issued from their Catholic church.

- The non-Catholic partner must sign a declaration saying that they will allow the Catholic partner to practice their faith freely without interference, and one more saying they agree to have their children baptized at the Catholic church.

In general, you will need to visit the priest (with your Polish speaking partner) and talk to him at least a year in advance. The priest will organize the church booking and the organ player at the mutually agreed date.

On the day before the wedding, you need to go see your priest and make a donation (average going rate where we live is PLN 500) and also pay for the organ player (average here PLN 200). It varies depending on the size and location of the church. I heard of people paying only 300 and people paying 1000. Also, immediately prior to the wedding, you need to go see your priest with the witnesses (bride's maid/best man - they must both be Catholic) and sign the paperwork, and handover your wedding bands to the priest. He will give them back to you towards the end of the ceremony.

I recommend that you practice your wedding vows in Polish. I said my vows in Polish and my partner and her family really appreciated that I made the effort to learn.

Good luck. Feel free to ask me if you have more questions.
delphiandomine 83 | 17,596
26 Jun 2013  #16
- You (the non-Catholic person) need to bring some form of proof that you are single from a Catholic church in your place of residence.

This can be negotiated away, provided you're known to the priest in question.

- The Catholic partner must undergo premarital training/workshop/preparation (whatever you want to call it) at some Catholic church. This is usually a one or two day workshop.

It's actually well worth doing if you can find the right priest to conduct it. Mine was - in a nutshell - excellent. He had many interesting stories about previous classes, and had an incredibly enlightened attitude.

- The non-Catholic partner must sign a declaration saying that will allow the Catholic partner to practice their faith freely without interference, and one more saying they agree to have their children baptized at the Catholic church.

As far as I'm aware, this isn't an obligation anymore.

I heard of people paying only 300 and people paying 1000.

No! Do not make any contribution to the priest before the wedding. There is no need to do so - they are strictly prohibited from refusing to give the sacrament for financial reasons, and the amount given should depend very much on their attitude.
Polsyr 6 | 769
26 Jun 2013  #17
As far as I'm aware, this isn't an obligation anymore.

What I said is based on my own experience and my own priest. And like I said, different priests ask for different things and may or may not bargain.

However, as far as I know, no priest will waive the requirement for the declarations I mentioned if the other partner is not Christian all together.

We chose to pay one day in advance to talk in advance to the organ player (we made a special request) and notify the priest that we are changing one of the witnesses so we didn't want to surprise him the next day.
FUZZYWICKETS 8 | 1,884
27 Jun 2013  #18
He also asked for our civil marriage certificate (we had our civil marriage 3 years before)

ding ding ding. that's the game changer. when you're already married, big a$$ache avoided.

No! Do not make any contribution to the priest before the wedding. There is no need to do so - they are strictly prohibited from refusing to give the sacrament for financial reasons, and the amount given should depend very much on their attitude.

are you suggesting that you don't have to give ANY money to the church if you're having a wedding there? i sure hope not, I've never heard of a single wedding happening in Poland without hundreds of PLN being given to the man in the dress and the big hat.
poland_
27 Jun 2013  #19
- The Catholic partner must undergo premarital training/workshop/preparation (whatever you want to call it) at some Catholic church. This is usually a one or two day workshop.

If you have been through the Sacrament of Confirmation you will not need to do any premarital awareness.

So would it be better to have civil wedding in uk then get married in poland

yes.

The one thing most people fail to understand on this forum is in order to marry in a Catholic church you have to be a confirmed Catholic. The confirmation can take place anywhere in the world it does not need to be in Poland. so in the situation of the OP they can be confirmed in the UK. First question to ask your husband to be is did he take his confirmation as a good Catholic boy should. If the answer is no, then he must get confirmed before marriage. If you are not Catholic you do not need to attend confirmation classes, the only one thing you will have to do as a non Catholic is agree before god, you will bring up your children as Catholics.

My problem is i just don't know where to start

You should not have to start anywhere its your husbands responsibility, he is the member of the Catholic faith, the only paper you have to provide is simply one that you have not been married before..

I suggest you give the following link to your future husband: wikihow.com/Be-Married-in-a-Catholic-Church

When my wife and I married in the CC in Poland in the 90's she organized all I was not even in the country at the time, I attended no pre-marital confirmation, although I was a christened Catholic, I had not taken my confirmation. all the paperwork was put together by her local priest, she had a meeting with the bishop who agreed on the basis of her being a confirmed Catholic and me being Catholic we were responsible to marry in the CC.
FUZZYWICKETS 8 | 1,884
27 Jun 2013  #20
If you are not Catholic you do not need to attend confirmation classes, the only one thing you will have to do as a non Catholic is agree before god, you will bring up your children as Catholics.

in other words, you gotta lie.

no offense to you, but that's priceless. "yes, yes, we understand you're not catholic, but please sign here, promising that you will not raise your children to follow your religion, or be raised without religion, rather, it must follow our religion."

it's all so silly but the majority of Poles see it all as a sham as well so you'll just be another one going through the mumbo jumbo tongue in cheek, fingers crossed behind your back.
poland_
27 Jun 2013  #21
it's all so silly but the majority of Poles see it all as a sham as well so you'll just be another one going through the mumbo jumbo tongue in cheek, fingers crossed behind your back.

This is where I start to question the intelligence of those who wish to get married in the Catholic Church and do not understand they are performing a sacrament in the house of God.

If neither of the spouses are Catholics why would you want to put yourself through the paperwork needed for the Church, there are so many scenic places to get married which require much less effort.

A Catholic church is just that a place of worship and prayer for Catholics.

If as you say there are spouses who cross their fingers behind their back, what a way to start married life based on lies, now there is a foundation for failure.

Most people, including most Roman Catholics, do not realize that the ministers of the sacrament are the spouses themselves. While the Church strongly encourages Catholics to marry in the presence of a priest and to have a wedding Mass, if both prospective spouses are Catholic, strictly speaking, a priest is not needed.

The spouses are the ministers of the sacrament of marriage because the mark-the external sign-of the sacrament is not the wedding Mass or anything the priest might do but the marriage contract itself. This does not mean the wedding license that the couple receives from the state, but the vows that each spouse makes to the other. As long as each spouse intends to contract a true marriage, the sacrament is performed.

The effect of the sacrament is an increase in sanctifying grace for the spouses, a participation in the divine life of God himself.
OP bethanyxx 2 | 11
27 Jun 2013  #22
my boyfriend is a catholic was brought up a catholic and did all his confirmation and other stuff.. However i am a baptist.. ive heard so many different things.. my boyfriend did however read hed have to promise the priest he will never turn to the "wrong side" and join another religion and that all the children we have we bring up in the catholic faith..
FUZZYWICKETS 8 | 1,884
27 Jun 2013  #23
If as you say there are spouses who cross their fingers behind their back, what a way to start married life based on lies, now there is a foundation for failure.

take a big ole' step off your high horse, bucko. so you were a virgin when you got married? did you sleep in the same bed as your fiance before you got married? how do you feel about homosexuals? what about having sex for pleasure, whenever you want? what about contraception? ever been divorced? I could go on and on, I actually remember my pre-cana in Poland. it was done in mass lecture, the church was standing room only filled with couples about to get married....and half of them were falling asleep. you know, a "foundation for failure" and all that.

why would you want to put yourself through the paperwork needed for the Church

for the same reason most others do it. because one of their spouses can't imagine breaking the tradition, or an even stronger influence, because they know their mother would be heartbroken if she didn't see her little girl walk down the aisle. tradition trumps the rest and if just one wants it and the other doesn't, the "other" one chalks it up as, "oh hell, it's just 45 minutes, he/she's happy, then we can leave and start the real party." don't try and make it out to be more than it is.

The effect of the sacrament is an increase in sanctifying grace for the spouses, a participation in the divine life of God himself.

and hokus pokus alamagokus.

I mean, no offense dude, if you're into all that, rock on buddy, but you're romanticizing about something very few actually pay attention to.

my boyfriend did however read hed have to promise the priest he will never turn to the "wrong side" and join another religion and that all the children we have we bring up in the catholic faith..

ain't that nice? ain't it nice to know that you're "on the wrong side"? as a matter of fact, that would most likely include your entire family. it'll make you feel good walkin' down that aisle, especially because you'll finally be "on the right side".........right? look no further to see how amazingly condescending religion can be.

so bethanyxx, how do you feel about eliminating your own faith from your life, as well as your children's lives?

or do you plan on crossing your fingers behind your back.

,
poland_
27 Jun 2013  #24
FUZZYWICKETS, following the posting guidelines, your comments are Anti- Catholic religious freedom is guaranteed by the Constitution in your country.

There is a strict division between tradition and lies.

ain't that nice? ain't it nice to know that you're "on the wrong side"?

You are a nasty little person FUZZYWICKETS.

I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHY YOUR COMMENTS HAVE NOT BEEN PUT IN THE TRASH THEY ARE OFF TOPIC AND AGAINST POSTING GUIDELINES.

my boyfriend is a catholic was brought up a catholic and did all his confirmation and other stuff..

Everyone who marries in the Catholic Church agrees to bring up their Children as Catholics.

If your husband is confirmed and you are a Christian, then it is known as a mixed marriage in the Catholic church, when you go to Poland later in the year you should book a meeting with the bishop of his parish and find out what is required from your particular situation. As your husband has taken his confirmation and he is a practising Catholic it should be a straight forward case.

my boyfriend did however read hed have to promise the priest he will never turn to the "wrong side" and join another religion

The interview with the bishop will be about you as a non Catholic and your acceptance and tolerance for the Catholic way of life.

For a mixed-marriage between a Catholic and a non-Catholic to work well it is important that the couple embraces what is common between their respective faith traditions and "to learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ," (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1634)

My problem is i just don't know where to start.

There are companies you can employ to take care of the whole event for you, here is one: wedding-in-poland.com/wedding-in-mountains.html
landora - | 199
27 Jun 2013  #25
On the day before the wedding, you need to go see your priest and make a donation (average going rate where we live is PLN 500) and also pay for the organ player (average here PLN 200).

We paid after the wedding, the priest didn't even ask.
The witnesses don't have to be Catholic!!! It's a common myth. If your priest says that, ask him where it is stated in the Canon Law.

The interview with the bishop will be about you as a non Catholic and your acceptance and tolerance for the Catholic way of life.

We did not have to have any interviews with a bishop, and my husband is not Catholic (although Christian).
We were supposed to bring the witnesses that he's not married, but we got away with it and finally didn't have to.

The important part is to get the Certificate of No Impediment - my husband got it from the British Embassy, but you can probably obtain it in the UK.
Harry
27 Jun 2013  #26
The important part is to get the Certificate of No Impediment - my husband got it from the British Embassy, but you can probably obtain it in the UK.

You can; however, it's a good idea to check with the priest what he wants to see, some of them might insist on the document that they know (i.e. the one from an embassy).
landora - | 199
27 Jun 2013  #27
We gave the Certificate to the registry office (USC), not to the priest.
You have to have the documents sorted in the registry office in order to allow the priest to marry you both legally and in the eyes of the Church. After the ceremony he sends the paperwork to the registry office and that's where you pick up your marriage certificate from.
poland_
28 Jun 2013  #28
The witnesses don't have to be Catholic!!! It's a common myth. If your priest says that, ask him where it is stated in the Canon Law.

There is no rule which states the witnesses for civil law purposes have to be Catholic, they could even be atheist if you so desire. If you are just having a Church sacrament no witnesses are needed. The witnesses are for civil law purposes.
Polsyr 6 | 769
28 Jun 2013  #29
my husband is not Catholic (although Christian).

Like I said, every priest will ask for different things, and in light of our personal circumstance, we were not inclined to argue with the priest.

Also your husband is Christian. I am not, and that changes things considerably.

Another occasion where our priest insisted on "Catholic witnesses" was during the baptism of our son. He even refused to allow my wife's sister to be a godmother because she has been divorced and remarried. Again, maybe another priest might bargain, maybe another couple might be inclined to argue, but we were not.

The only thing that stands absolutely true, is that the original poster needs to ask the actual priest in the church where she intends to get married.
OP bethanyxx 2 | 11
28 Jun 2013  #30
I went to my local registry office to ask them what to do they said if I marry in a church they can't do anything.. We want to marry in a Catholic Church as his family are very strict Catholics especially his grandmother who goes everyday like 3 times a day and also I find quite a lot of the Catholic Churches in poland beautiful .. And the fact it's so much cheaper in poland than in England to have a good wedding and the fact that its a two-three day celebration you can't complain at that..

My partner did say a lot of poles hire a fire station hall to have the after party?? However we are going to a polish wedding in September that's going to be in a palace


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