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Polish divorce - there is next to no help available from the law!


Europe
21 Feb 2014 #1
Hello everybody,

I am divorcing my ex in Poland at the moment and the process is more and more resembling into a complete farce where the mother with the help from the law is stripping you out of all belongings leaving you completely dry and not able to see your own child even.

The alimony is set way to high and the court so far doesn't need to even explain their own reasoning and do not take into consideration the higher cost of life outside Poland for me. The alimony is 1300€ net. Huge issues with the child that i am not able to see normally for little over three years by now, and even if the court is on the right side there both sides know the execution of any court order is next to nothing so even if you get a good verdict it is more or less useless as there are little possibility to enforce it via the authorities. The process takes more than three years to complete all in all and that is without even getting to division of property etc...

The abuse you need to take is immense. It is common to be called a alcoholic, drug abuser, liar, cheater, thief as well as mentally sick as well as the mother claiming she believes you are about to kidnap the child, these things are also openly said in court in an attempt trying to get custody of the child by misleading the court into thinking the same, all without any kind of evidence. The whole family around is going to turn against you and talk bad about you in front of your own child whilst the child spends time with the mother and sooner or later the child start believe these things as well.

Take this as a advice to think VERY carefully if you decide to reside in Poland and choose life with a polish woman.

My experience has been a complete disaster and there is next to no help available from the law unfortunately.
InWroclaw 89 | 1,915
21 Feb 2014 #2
I'm just a stranger, but just want to say stay strong and get on and enjoy your life. Easy to say I know and sounds like a cliche, but time is all we really have, so we must make the best of it.

My experience has been a complete disaster and there is next to no help available from the law unfortunately.

I hope your own family or friends are making it easier for you. Hang on in there !

On a personal experience note, what you say doesn't surprise me in the least, btw.
Wulkan - | 3,251
21 Feb 2014 #3
there is next to no help available from the law unfortunately.

pffff... someone told you that Poland is some sort of Wonderland?
katheryn 65 - | 8
21 Feb 2014 #4
Isn't divorce like that in most countries ?

Sorry for your situation also .

Families do stick close in Poland that is one thing I liked about it ..... sorry
legate - | 46
21 Feb 2014 #5
did you get a lawyer?
many people who don't know anything about the law go to court alone and complain; I don't know your situation but my experience shows that most rulings are fair but yo need to know how to act. Just the same as you have to know how to repair a car.
OP Europe
21 Feb 2014 #6
Thanks guys, i am staying strong just need to write about this so others coming to Poland will think about this carefully if they ever end up in a similar situation.

For me it is very important having these said at least.

I have friends that have gone through this process but no one have had the same difficulties as dealing with it in Poland. There is little common sense and will to reach a conclusion and the child is openly used as a tool to put pressure on the man which is damaging everybody including the child. Nothing is done even when you point out the time it takes and the process continues costing you both in your relation to your child as well as money.

The way the process works the longer it takes the better it is for the mother. The economy is combined until the divorce takes place which can take 4 years to complete, i know other countries the economy becomes separate as soon as someone asks for a divorce for example.

I am certainly not alone having the same issues and understand the problem is common saw there are even some organizations that push trying to change the law but it looks like there is little political will to change the process when it is at least from my experience in desperate need of changes.
InWroclaw 89 | 1,915
21 Feb 2014 #7
relation to your child as well as money.

Can I just stick my conk (nose) in one more time and say this (forgive me, but I have to say it as it's from experience) If you only have one kid, try to have at least 1 more with your next partner or spouse. Life as an only child, in adulthood, is often very tough. I appeal to all members of the forum to listen to me and never have an only child unless for medical reasons, and even then look seriously at second opinions and even adopt.

Apologies again but I had to spit that out.
bicthass
21 Feb 2014 #8
Divorce is always like that when you married a money grabbing ***** she probably planned it from day 1 if you live in another country just send a reasonable amount for the child's expenses at 1300euro a month your paying for everything including the lingerie she will be wearing for the next men that come along
Cardno85 31 | 976
21 Feb 2014 #9
Divorce is almost always messy, I have an aunt an uncle that are still fighting over property and custody for 15 years (and all their kids are adults now) and they still seem as far from a resolution as it was 15 years ago. I still think it's the courts forcing conflict to get more money.
Buggsy 8 | 98
25 Feb 2014 #10
I am going to jump in on this one.
To the O.P I just want to say : I feel you man, hang in there!
Divorce in a foreign country is a very traumatic experience.
However, here is my two cents on this based on my experience living in this country.
First of all guys, before you get married to anyone of a different nationality it is always good to do a thorough
research on eventualities no matter how crazy it may seem. It is second nature that families in Poland will stick to their own
in a divorce situation- in other words this is when their true colours will show!
When you get married for the right reasons it is always good that both partners speak each other's language.
If your common language is English then the other half will have to learn Polish.
After marriage it is advisable that both parties should adopt each other's nationalities no matter how cumbersome it might turn out to be.
Then do the same for the children after they are born it's easier and much better when they have both your nationalities.
Then if it ends up in divorce there is no partner who is going to feel like he or she has the upper hand.
Ant63 11 | 403
25 Feb 2014 #11
Polish divorce is best avoided on all fronts. It doesn't benefit the child if there is one involved in the slightest.

My advice to anybody about to get divorced is start it in your own country, not Poland. Get in first or most likely suffer the consequences like the OP.


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