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reinkarnacje + correction request +chomiki


Pan Zuk Gnojowy 10 | 24
29 Feb 2012 #1
I was writing a silly lyric for a song (in a Polski Beat Happening stylee) today, and I realised I couldn't find a way to describe "to be reincarnated" an 'activity' that always occurs in the passive voice (as with being born in the first place) in English.

I managed to find this construction:
przejść reinkarnacje

Would that be correct?

I couldn't find any evidence of people saying a Polish equiv. for "reincarnated as smth." (eg. a worm, a butterfly, a portaloo etc.)

So, here's my attempted ditty. I'm sure there is a lot to correct, feel free.

skory jenkoowee and all that ;)

w przypadku,
że umieramy
i przejść reinkarnacje
jako chomiki
Obiecaj mi, (tylko)
że będziesz moj
chomik-żona
Podam najlepsze marchewki
pistacje skradzione,
szczęśliwy chomiki my będziemy

a.k.
29 Feb 2012 #2
try odrodzić się jako

Are you sure the rest of the poem is correct?
gumishu 11 | 5,857
29 Feb 2012 #3
there is a intransitive verb reinkarnować in Polish and it is the verb rather than passive construction that is typically used in Polish (just like in English I guess)

jeśli umrzemy
by zreinkarnować
jako chomiki...

(if we die to reincarnate as hamsters...)
OP Pan Zuk Gnojowy 10 | 24
29 Feb 2012 #4
thanks to both rapid repliers

am I sure the rest of the poem is correct - w ogóle NO! :)

is it possible to change "by" in your version, gumishu, to something more like "i" or "potem".. if we were to die and be reincarnated as.. or am I struggling against the tide of English - Polish construct..?
a.k.
29 Feb 2012 #5
w przypadku,
że umieramy
i przejść reinkarnacje
jako chomiki
Obiecaj mi, (tylko)
że będziesz moj
chomik-żona
Podam najlepsze marchewki
pistacje skradzione,
szczęśliwy chomiki my będziemy

Na wypadek,
gdy umrzemy
i odrodzimy się jako
chomiki
obiecaj mi proszę,
że będziesz moją
chomikową żoną.
Dam ci najlepsze marchewki,
pistacje skradzione,
razem szczęśliwy żywot chomików wieść będziemy.

How about that? The last line in that version sounds better to me. But if you like yours them it should be: szczęśliwymi chomikami (my) będziemy
gumishu 11 | 5,857
29 Feb 2012 #6
is it possible to change "by" in your version, gumishu, to something more like "i" or "potem".

yes, but then you need to change the form of the verb from infinitive to a personal form - in this case it would have to be '..i reinkarnujemy..'

but then it looks and sounds a bit clumsy - and ' .. i odrodzimy się jako chomiki..' would be much better sounding poetry
OP Pan Zuk Gnojowy 10 | 24
29 Feb 2012 #7
Thanks, that's wonderful.
I like your version. Might not be able to adapt it into the cadence of the thing, but we'll see... It's funny how somehow I thought I could escape narzędnik by putting the verb at the end of the sentence :)

I missed out a line, which is certain to be pretty błędy

ukrywamy się przed łapami dzieci

(aye, łapami - or somesuch, I wanted the idea of paws.. hooves, something animal/innocent implied about the dzieci..)

yes, but then you need to change the form of the verb from infinitive to a personal form - in this case it would have to be '..i reinkarnujemy..'

indeed, I was aware of that :)
good to know it's not totally bez sensu.
gumishu 11 | 5,857
29 Feb 2012 #8
ukrywamy się przed łapami dzieci

ukryjemy - ukrywamy is present tense - ukryjemy future (this is actually aspectual thing too)

while Polish offers the richness of diminutives in some instances when you don't use them you indirectly point that you mean something opposite to diminutive which is augmentative

that's why I would use 'łapkami' instead of 'łapami' (after all hamsters have tiny paws and Poles would call them 'łapki')
a.k.
29 Feb 2012 #9
ukrywamy się przed łapami dzieci

It's correct. But łapa might be perceived as a negative connotation (as if you were talking about brats). To soften it I suggest łapkami.

To make whole sentence more shapely: ukrywamy się przed dziecięcymi łapkami.

animal/innocent

hmmm.. animal = innocent???
gumishu 11 | 5,857
29 Feb 2012 #10
hmmm.. animal = innocent???

animals are mostly innocent :)
a.k.
29 Feb 2012 #11
but can be agressive
OP Pan Zuk Gnojowy 10 | 24
29 Feb 2012 #12
for me a.k it is an important concept and one which English seems to lack a word for, that kind of primeval, occasionally brutal innocence of nature...

łapkami is perfect gumishu (edit, and a.k!) , absolutely perfect, and I totally agree - zdrobnienie is the most fun, and sometimes beautiful, and often practical part of Polish - I love it.. don't get me started on zgrubnienie (?) :)

thanks again both... now where's me bongos..
gumishu 11 | 5,857
29 Feb 2012 #13
.. don't get me started on zgrubnienie (?) :)

I will - I will get you into my wielkie łapska of Polish zgrubienie :) ;)
a.k.
29 Feb 2012 #14
occasionally brutal innocence of nature...

there's nothing brutal in łapki. It makes me thinks of puppies etc. You should know that łapa as a human hand is used in Polish language in some contexts so it's so unusual association and your "animisation" idea might not be obvious. E.g.: Get your hands off = Zabieraj łapy!

Pazurki would be something praying and sweet (as a diminutive) at once, but, on the second thought, also might sound a bit weird. It's up to you :)

Ukrywamy się przed dziecięcymi pazurkami.

so it's so unusual association and your "animisation" idea might not be obvious

I meant "it's not so unusual association"

praying

Should be: preying

Sorry for mistakes :)
foreveryoung
1 Mar 2012 #15
Hey Panie Żuku Gnojowy,I only want to say that I like your screen name a lot.Cheers!
OP Pan Zuk Gnojowy 10 | 24
1 Mar 2012 #16
dzięki Panie Wieczniemłodymku !:)
Panie, ten,.. lubię gówno ale wolę gnój. To po prostu :)

see you na ra


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