WHY THE HELL CANT I LEARN POLISH??

Crow is "fair game" as his English is appalling..... Parisians speak much better English than they like to admit and actively resist speaking it.
In Paris, or in France in general, I only speak in French and service is much better.
I know The French intimately and they are snobs.....

To paraphrase somewhat ol' Winnie, "snobs indeed, with much to be snobs about!"

There absolutely nothing wrong with the French refusing to speak any language other than their own. Don't like it? Stay the hell away.

I happen to concur with the first part of your statement at any rate:-)