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changing a polish childs surname.

8 Oct 2012 #1
hi all! please can anyone help???
my polish girlfriend and i are due to get married, she has a child from a previous relationship. polish father.
she wants her son to also take my surname, can that be done without the fathers permission? we live in england and his father is in poland. she does not have much to do with the father. she is worried about when we get married she will not be able to change her sons surname and also apply for a passport without the fathers permission.

she thinks he will not conset to either just to be awkward!
so my questions are can we A, change her sons surname legaly without her ex partners permission.
and B, apply for a new passport for her son without the fathers consent.
any help would be appreciated. thanks people ;-)
Ant63 13 | 410
9 Oct 2012 #2
Danger Danger

No No and No if you live in the UK. I guess it would be the same elsewhere.

You are entering a whole world of sh*t with this. Get some proper advice before you do anything. Speak to Understand that Poland is not the UK and National Identity, politics, etc come before any consideration for child welfare. Believe me, you will be considered a cash cow by the paternal father and the courts in Poland.

Believe me, if you don't do things properly, your pockets will empty faster than you thought was ever possible and you will enter a world of misery that you thought was reserved for the wrong doers of this world. The Polish family courts are pure evil.

You have been warned.
9 Oct 2012 #3
A) No.
B) Not if the child is under 13 (although you could in theory apply to a Polish court for permission to get a passport if the father says no).

One other thing: make sure you have the kid's passport and he is on the no travel list and under no circumstances allow the father to take him to Poland. If the father has the kid in Poland and doesn't want to return him, you're looking at years to get the kid back.
OP newdude
9 Oct 2012 #4
how can that work if i am in england? how can i loose money?

the father is in poland and myself, my partner are in the uk.

also what about changing his surname by deed poll in the uk? also i have been told once my partners sons passport runs out just apply for a uk passport.
Ant63 13 | 410
9 Oct 2012 #5

I'm 150K down because my partner assured me her husband was safe. I live in England with my partner and her two children.

You need proper advice. Do what I said and make sure you do everything possible to ensure the child is secure in the UK. People do stupid things when they get jealous over a former partners new partner.

What we see as correct in the UK and the majority of the world agrees with, Poland does not. The Polish courts despise it citizens that have left and if the child sets foot in Poland you are endangering not only the child's well being but your pockets too without the proper protection. Poland is a paranoid country that believes other countries are trying to steal its blond blue eyed children.

You may think this is scare mongering but dude, if it goes wrong, you'll wish you had done something.

My partners example:

6th Jan 2011 her 4 and 6yr old child were abducted in Poland by her ex.
They were drugged, had headphones and builders dust masks secured to there heads/faces.
3 days after the abduction the Police decided to do something
When they found them and found out her partner was an ex policeman they turned against my partner
The older child was recovered after a few days
The younger after 6 months through the Hague convention

Now the half wit polish courts want to give him the children for xmas to the same place he committed the act nearly 2 years ago.

They have even advised him he has the right to retain the children again as he still has parental authority.
What happens if he does it again? What happens if he kills them?

Poland is a hell hole when it comes to children. They have no bloody idea. It's not like England where we protect first and sort the parents out later. The parents are more important especially if they are domicile in Poland.

There are organizations that are trying to get things changed in Poland, but it takes years, because it always someone else's problem.

Believe me, what I say is true!
OP newdude
10 Oct 2012 #6
i have no intention of living in poland mate, ive just finished 12 years in the army! so looking forward to being back home! sorry for whats happened to you. i think her ex is a abusive alcoholic, woman beater after a drink. if my partners son goes back to poland it will only be for breif visits to see grandad and grandma.
paulinska 9 | 86
10 Oct 2012 #7
I know of someone who's successfully changed a son's surname. However, and this is the biggy here, she took the ex-partner to the Polish family court, divorced him and got full custody of the boy. She went as far as removing the ex-partner's name off the boy's birth certificate - The guy was an idiot! I therefore, don't think my advice would be relevant to your situation. Your partner's ex is a big player here and unless she drags him to court and prove that he's not a fit for purpose father, i dont think you can change the kid's surname.
10 Oct 2012 #8
i think her ex is a abusive alcoholic, woman beater after a drink.

None of that matters to the Polish family court, none of it. I know a family where the father has multiple convictions for violence against both his ex-wife and son but the court still forces his daughter to spend time with him. And that is a case which doesn't involve a foreigner or a Pole who has left Poland. Things which in the UK would most certainly result in prison sentences are simply ignored by the family court here. I worked with a woman who divorced her husband due to him having the habit of getting drunk and kicking the crap out of her. The court decided that the break-up of the marriage was due to faults on both sides and as a result she is now paying him alimony as he drinks too much to hold down a job (of course he still works cash in hand without telling the court). BTW, if your Mrs' ex decides to pull a similar trick, the Polish court will take into account your income when assessing how much to give him. I know another case about child support payments where a man submitted income statements to the family court showing that he earned less than he had been paying every month in child support (to the mothers of his three children) for the past three years. The court accepted those documents as being accurate. If you get involved in the family courts here, anything can happen. And as a foreigner, you'll get the shiitty end of the stick nine times out of ten.

if my partners son goes back to poland it will only be for breif visits to see grandad and grandma.

Even if those grandparents are her parents, I'd strongly recommend that they come to UK. If the ex-husband gets his hands on the kid in Poland, you face a real battle to get the kid back. As for the ex-husband's parents, don't even let them know where the kid lives.

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