American Father raising a boy in Poland - or maybe USA would be the better place?

Hello,

I am an American living in Los Angeles and my partner is Polish. She will be having our child in Poland this spring. I am wondering which is the better place to raise the child Poland or America? I have no base here in America as I have been traveling playing music for the past 10 years. I have a music education degree but have limited teaching experience here in the states. She has family there, support and her own business. My family is not happy about the situation and I have received little support from them. Any thoughts or advise would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Hi, Is this not something you both discussed before she became pregnant? Ultimately only you and your partner can make that decision. You know what benefits living in the US can give and presumably she knows what benefits Poland has to offer. Its natural that most women want to be close to their loved ones (which of course includes you) when they are having a baby.

Quite honestly : you're screwed.

Poland has absolutely no mercy when it comes to enforcing (often unrealistic) child support payments, and your family is absolutely right to be concerned. She's not going to move to the US to be with you, particularly if she already is well established in Poland while you appear to have no real foundations there.

This was an unplanned event.

I gathered.

Well, for the sake of saving a few bucks, you can expect a lot of trouble financially. Under Polish law, you're liable until the child finishes full time education or 26 years, whichever comes first.

That I know for sure. Its going to be a lot of money financially. If we work out, you think staying in Poland with the her and the child is best?

Hi tonysax,

We live in the Los Angeles area and my wife is Polish. I have lived here in the USA all of my life and after visiting Poland I have found that family means more in Poland than here in the US especially in Los Angeles. You don't say what the circumstances are regarding your relationship with the baby's mother except the child was unplanned. It's my opinion that the relationship with the child's mother is something that you have to think about first. You are here and she is in Poland carrying your child and what happens between both of you needs to be decided before you can decide what the best home situation for a child. This is my opinion but I think raising the child in Poland will give the child a sense of who they are and where they came from. The child will learn Polish and have family that will support, (you stated that your family here do not support you in this situation which is unfortunate and is one more reason not to support being in LA; they should celebrate the child's life A CHILD NOT A MISTAKE), and care for them. LA is the harsh reality of the bright lights going nowhere and having nothing. Many of our children struggle with acceptance, obesity, learning and many other situations that the child will not encounter being raised in Poland.

I hope that you and the mother are able to communicate and choose the best situation for the sake of the child and all the best in your decision which must weigh heavily upon you.

I'd go for the safest option for your future offspring. That has to be the USA (considering the islamification of Europe).

Don't be so ridiculous Billy. In terms of safety, Poland would win hands down, the US has far more violent crime than Poland.
The OP should make up his own mind and not rely on the opinions of people on an internet forum.
Of course his parents aren't going to be happy if he moves to Poland, it's their grandchild they won't be getting to see that much of, and flights between the two countries aren't cheap.

dont be so silly Billy

I am American and my husband is Polish and I think raising a child here in Poland is a much better choice. But that is a personal choice rooted in finding traditional value and lifestyle to be of high value to me. Can you give a bit more info. Hvae you been together long, do you love eahc other, where would you be living here in Poland?

From what it sounds like, it looks like Poland would be a better option for the child. The mother has friends, family, and a business (meaning a stable source of income) there. You yourself said your family doesn't support this, the pregnancy was unplanned, and you have no roots or stable source of income in the US. Poland also has much better social benefits and social net than the US. Do you really want to raise a child while wandering about the US playing music for your dinner, never knowing where your next paycheck will come from? For the good of the child, in your situation, I would say Poland is best, hands down.