PF - The Omnibus Edition

Just saw it:D. Great!!!!!!!

When did you get the Mod Job on PF?

Edit.

I see the new thread now

The last ever Omnibus Edition

As we all know, the world ends tomorrow so I thought it best to use this opportunity to pen the last edition, to make peace with my maker (Admin) and to have a few last parting shots at some of the members. As yet, exactly how the end will come is not clear. Earlier this evening I thought I could see a giant fireball in the sky but it turned out to be the farmer at the top of the ridge outside my home having a bonfire. My betting is on a neutron star sucking us to bits with its extraordinary gravitational force. If it does end that way it's at least going to be quick, probably the quickest bj in history. Maybe it will be a giant flood. It's certainly been raining heavily here today. Anyway, no point indulging in idle speculation. It's time to make my final confessions:

• I have to admit that I was secretly in love with Pingwin. Of course that is between you and me because even if it the last night I don't want the Boss finding out, even at this late stage. No point going to meet my maker in a wheelchair. I don't know what happened to Pingwin but she was very sweet and kind to people on here.

• Yes, I followed the dark side to that other Forum where I was so prolific I don't think I've reached 100 posts yet. About the same as on here over the same period. Now my leaving made bugger all difference to most people but it has caused a rift between me and one of the mods who is no longer talking to me. You know who you are. Pie would like to say sorry and it's not too late to kiss and make up you know. Mwahhh. There, I feel better already.

• This next one has haunted me for years. I don't even know whom I should be apologising to. Many years ago when I was a strapping youth who virtually lived on the beaches of Bournemouth, I once committed a heinous crime. A group of rather attractive ladies went off for a swim in The Channel leaving behind their clothes and crucially, a camera. In the high spirits of youth my friends and I decided to drop our trunks and snap the wedding tackle before replacing the camera unnoticed. Somewhere one of them had to have been arrested at a branch of Boots in London and it was all my fault. Before you ask, there was no zoom on the camera.

• There are many, many more things that I should confess but I see dtaylor has opened up the bar for the PF end of world party so I'll just add one more. I was the only one of the seven year olds in my class in Toxteth that couldn't drive a car at that age and also didn't have a collection of hub caps. Perhaps that is why I was sent to Bournemouth in disgrace.

As my parting shot I'm going to resurrect an old idea of mine from way back on here - which album or song track do I associate with posters on here?

Des - Several Species of Furry Animals gathered together in a cave and grooving with a Pict (why use one word when twenty will do) (Pink Floyd)

Harry - Here Today, Gone Tomorrow (The Ramones)

WB - Sorry seems to be the hardest word (Elton John)

Bubba - Never mind the bo****Ks, here's the entrepreneur (sort of S*x Pistols)

Oh crap, I can't be bothered any more. I'll use the last moments to finish my autobiography which was to be called The Life of Pie before that Canadian tw*t nicked my title. It will now be called - I did it her way.

See you on the other side (if you believe in that sort of thing)

Ciao

Thiz is the first time in 2 weeks that i was able to produce a smile:).

I hope the next one is not that long in coming;)

oh god, get it together young lass!!


See you both in a warped version of PF heaven!! lol

A nice area! I passed through there a couple of weeks ago during that freezing weather, and it was so cold, one of the locals had his hands, in his own pockets.

Didn't that city used to have a top 4 club in the Prem also? I'm sure they did years ago:)

Indeed it is, the tea shops in particular are first class;)

Top 4 prem club? Now that takes me back. I'd be deeply upset at that remark but luckily for you I'm still upset at Everton being (briefly) in fourth spot;)

Don't worry my late grandma said that a handful of people will survive.

Well, erm... Fuck. We are all still here I guess... Or is this heaven?

Have you read some of the threads in PF? I imagine heaven is a lil more relaxed;)

Haha you may have a point. I'm pissed drinking a very nice whiskey from Skye:)

well, in the past there was no need to get drunk. First class trolls made the day on PF;)

Talisker 25 year old?

Some of you may remember Szarlotka, who has started this thread. His abouts remains uknown, but I suspect that he moved into a small inn above the beer parlor somehwere in the South of England in order to stay close to his beer/golf friends and visits his home on weekend in order for his wife not to noticed that he moved out.

I myslef have replaced him for a few posts, but as you can see the man is NOT coming back. There are more imprtant things in life then writing for a third grade forum with the trafic speed close to internet connection during the Nixon time.

I have been busy with may things, rethinking the meaning of life, trying to figure out how to avoid Polish crowds during the summer (extremly warm and pleasant) and cleaning after my somewhat crazy cats.

Who is still around?
The two Stooges are still typing away as if there is no tomorrow and no life in such great cities as Warsaw and Poznan.
Well, I almost forgot about Pawian – he is in another great city in Poland and banned himslef for a while, but he is back, as crisp and as ready as always.

What makes a man a Pole? Well, I think that if you stand around for a while you become one regardless of nationality.
Private swimming lessons. Gone are the days of private tennis lessons.

How do guys from Poland flirt? A Duch beauty has hots for a Polish bloke who smiles widely and streches his muscles in a gym. A difficult one since Duch are probably one of the most forward nations and this girls has no idea how to read a Pole. Lets wait for his move. It is possible that he doesn't know the language. I recommend winking with Polish guys. If he doesn't react, start pretending that you have a fruit fly in the eye.

That is it folks. The forum is so slow that I might write another update next year. Asta la vista.

Actually he was in the chat room not that long ago!


And gone again! He has decided not to ban himself this time, but is having a rest.

nice :)

Not true. I've just moved into the garden shed to avoid her cats that hate me. Next week I'll receive the gear to set up on tap Guinness in the shed whereupon my life will be complete.

Actually I was toying with the idea of writing a one off summary in the microcosm of life that is Polish Forums. However, I found it impossible. You see in the days when I started this thread it was relatively easy to work out was going on. It was easy to spot that A hated B, that C was secretly in love with D, that E was completely off their rocker and that there was a relatively simple subset of themes to pick up on.

Nowadays it's too complex for my limited intellectual capacity to cope with. A may well hate B still but only because A and C were ganging up on D who was the best friend of E who once went out with B who had an affair with F who thought that Poland was backward and was wrong for not invading the Austro Hungarian empire when they had the chance. Add to that the fact that G is having an ongoing war with H and I when in all probability H,G and I are the same person with a multiple personality disorder and you can see why it is just not going to happen any time soon. As I get older I'm getting more confused anyway so I'll leave it tp others to distil what is really happening here.

"When a man's knowledge is not in order, the more of it he has the greater will be his confusion" - Herbert Spencer

That is nice too. Enjoy.


true. It was very B&W.


.....watching the grass grow has many benefits.

Hell, Szar, I never understood Shakespeare when I was a lad, and I still don't. Spit it out man, what do you really mean to say???

Ditto. Is Delph banned or did he become a mod?
Sorry for my bluntness, I don't feel like ready doing the research on the forum. I'm some year and a half behind on current events in this place.

Er, I'm not sure I can remember that. Oh, wait, yes I can. I think I meant to say I quite liked the sassy Scotsman. Didn't always agree with him but there again I don't always agree with most people. He did go a bit over the top and all I would say is that there are others who deserve the same fate and I hope the purge does not pass them by.

Hope that helps ShawnH. Now don't go outside without your coat on over there. It's hard to type with frostbitten pinkies.

You are in the danger of becoming one of my favourite posters Szar- took me a while to decipher your post but I enjoyed it :)

Time for a new edition of the omnibus?

I'd love to write one, just for old time's sake but where the hell would I start. I've just been trying to read up on a few threads looking for inspiration and have come to the conclusion that it's pointless trying. All the topical spice and pithiness is already there in the Random thread that seems to be encapsulating the wider world. It's all there - bigotry, intolerance, entrenched opinion, humour, lunacy and myopia. I couldn't compete with that.

<Ed - nah, you're just too lazy these days>

You should ! Most people enjoyed reading your thread.

I came here to check what I have missed, while I've been wasting my time in the so called "real world".

We (royal we) need an edition of this pillar of civilisation also known as the one, the only, The Omnibus Edition!

SeanBM.... the one and only. How the devil are you sir?

In case you haven't noticed the "real world" by which I mean mountains, oceans and people conversing face to face is fast disappearing under a maelstrom of anti social media apps resulting in a total lack of civilised conversation, fantasy identities of perfect people being the norm and eejits walking into me on the streets of London with their eyes glued to mobile devices which are shaded from view if they are but one release out of date!

Luddites of the world unite

No, the real world is still there and some of us pause for breath sometimes using comma's and full stops where appropriate! Otherwise, we too would be gasping for air haha.

Nice to see you comment on here Szarlotka! I wrote on here too, exactly a year before Sean BM wrote, so are you going to ask me how I am too?

Some things never change do they haha!

When will you be writing the next edition of Omnibus then? Already two of your fans have asked for it? How many fans do you need then?