PF - The Omnibus Edition

Good call.

Post of the month competition it is then.

Chapter 1 Guinness 1

1: In the beginning there was Admin and a computer.

2: And the website was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the net. And the Spirit of Poland moved upon the face of the keyboard.

(admin's own country).

3: And Admin said, Let there be light: and there was light.

4: And Admin saw the light, that it was good: and Admin divided the light from the darkness.

5: And Admin called the light background, and the darkness he called font.

6: And for six long hours Admin created this his website
7: And on the seventh hour Admin ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh hour from all his work which he had made.

8: And Admin blessed the seventh hour, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which Admin created and made.

9: And Admin had Angels to steer his flock on the right path giving them special powers to edit posts, communicate in fire red, to exalt threads to stickies or to cast the wicked in to the abyss of suspension.

10: In this world he had created Admin was all knowing and all powerful. He had the power to resurrect threads, he can read your private messages but rumours of his mother being a virgin are greatly exaggerated.

11: He gaveth his flock free will and they did complain that people were being rude. And admin said onto his flock "You must believe in free will; there is no choice". But he considered this and in his infinite wisdom brought in to this rules. So It Shall Be typed, So It Shall Be Done.

The first draft of his commandments, known as the Javascripture, were as follows:

1. Thou shalt have no other sites spammed before me.
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image (Avatars).
3. Thou shalt not take the name of thy neighbours in vain.
4. Remember the topic, to keep it on topic.
5. Thou shalt not hijack threads.
6. Thou shalt not kill.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery without describing what happened in detail.
8. Thou shalt not quote more than 100 words and pass it off as your own idea.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
10. Thou shall not covet thy neighbour's ox, donkey, chicken or apple tree.

(Back then there was a lot of coveting;).

He started off with sacrifices (sacrificial Seanus was spared along with the virgin Southern) and floods to cleanse his flock but after careful consideration the almighty wise one decided ''Random Chat thread (deleted monthly)'' was better and less bloody.

And every month from that day forth Admin would not only deliver us from our sins but would delete them completely.

And Admin saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening became the morning on the sixth hour.


Admin and Ewa did have an Apple Mac but it is only Microsoft propaganda that it is evil.

In Admin we trust.

About dead presidents and angry volcanoes.

Exactly a week ago, Polish president Lech Kaczynski died. Of course this event did not pass PF by unnoted. Over the past seven days we have seen:

- pictures of destroyed fuselage of the plane in question
- pictures of imaginairy fuel dump nozzles
- more pictures of imaginairy fuel dump nozzles
- pictures of Adolf Hitler
- pictures of Jews preparing the demise of Kaczynski
- pictures of Putin preparing the demise of Kaczynski
- pictures of inhabitants of San Antonio, TX, preparing the demise of Kaczynski
- pictures of Serbian heraldry meant to soothe the Polish ppl in their suffering by knowing that the great Slavija is now just a matter of time

- pictures of villagers of HingyHoHoHo, South East Taiwan, prepering the demise of Kaczynski
- the call for Poles to finally leave the EU behind and join the great and glorious Slavija, together with other champions of wealth, like the Ukraine

- undisputed proof that EU means nothing but bad business for Poland, Ireland and all the other poor states in Europe
- an outline of all the benefits the Russians would get when the mighty and final authority of Kaczynski would demise
- pictures of a man entering an adult store
- overwhelming evidence that 9/11 and the demise of Kaczynski are related
- proof that the Jews are behind the demise of Kaczynski
- pictures of Lukas Podolski
- 1/100ths of a second a moving image of the last flight of Kaczynski's plane
- the amazing fact that this footage has been widely ignored by the press
- pictures of boys with mullets claiming to have witnessed the last seconds of given plane
- pictures of boys with mullets claiming to go to school on Saturday morning
- pictures of boys with mullets happen to have a photo camera handy on a Saturday morning while going to school
- proof that it's pssble to change a photo camera's settings from pictures to video in 1/100ths of a second
- pictures of Jesus Christ
- the fact that some posters have accepted JC as their personal saviour
- the fact that JC nowadays is charging for personal savings
- the fact that this money goes into a fund to help give unemployed paedophile priests with a criminal record a new start in business
- the emerging of Olga as leading conspiracy theorist, taking over the number one spot of famed conspirators like Joepilsudski, cheehaw and the likes.
- the fact that Olga is a tough one, defying 100's of opponents
- the fact that Olga is capable of switching from one proof to the other when proof seems futile
- proof that everybody can own a computer nowadays
- evidence of the fact that even Mother Nature is against the Poles, as an angry volcano prohibits world leaders to attend president Kaczynski's funeral.

- evidence that the Russians switched on their volcano machine and sent shivers down the spine of the Icelanders
- proof that we live in a dangerous world full of conspiracies aimed at our very existence, but specially at Poles' existence and that even Mother Earth is against us and the Poles particularly.

Behold the list of ocurrences of last week. There's more, but I have a headache.

>^..^<

M-G (long awaited yet to come)

well said and a good job.
Those are my favs:






Excellent summary:)

Well...first the smog in Smolensk now the volcano ....if that doesn't make you think! Great summary M-G.

Thank you guys :) I will try and post more in this thread, if I have time and feel like it.

>^..^<

M-G (next will be probably a summary of posters here on PF, but that's just in blueprint for now)

Self inflicted (booze) no sympathy lol

Yeah, thought red wine doesn't give a hangover. Guess I was wrong. White wine doesn't give you a hangover, though, but then again, white wine is not good for your heart and blood.

>^..^<

M-G (heard that pear-bulmers is good for blood and heart, but isn't sure of that either)

You know it's time that coloured ppl start flooding Poland, part 1.

You know it's time that coloured ppl start flooding Poland when:

- it turns out that Jarnowa, product of multiple generations of inbred is becoming moral minister of the Polish population;

- Harry takes his dinner at a dubious Indian restaurant and dies on the spot due to food poisoning;
- Harry miraculously resurrects three days later in a backroom somewhere in the more sleazy parts of Warschau;
- Harry is since called Harry Christ;
- Harry is getting a bit nervous as Pentrecote is nearing;
- Mysterious Indians like Deepak Kashmir appear to announce the demise and rise of Harry;

- Defenders of the Polish nation like 1Jola who vowed to stand by Poland's right wing, vowing to protect her agains all Jewish evil, happen to be living outside Poland in her darkest hour;

- 1Jola makes the transition from technician at USAAF via trainer of Astronauts, Cosmonauts and Taikonauts to coffeeboy in the Polish Army;
- Sokrates has discovered he is in the posession of just one testicle after having a good, thorough look in the mirror after it turned out that he was not flexible enough to bypass his giant gut;

- Sokrates is mighty frustrated about this fact;
- 1Jola AND Sokrates have both accepted Harry Christ as their personal Savior;

- there is still no ID on the alledged murderer of Lech Kacynski, but reliable sources here on PF have revealed the perpetrator is most likely of Jewish origin;

- hague1cmaeron is furious about the sadistic treatment of mountain ppl living in the Tatra by Slovakia, but is more aggrevated by the assumption that these mountain ppl according to those vile Slovaks are being mistreated by Poles;

- Canadians like Wiktusz are in a constant state of erection due to being in Poland;
- Wiktusz, a Canadian, is arrested in Poland for indecent exposure;

- somebody from PF saw a black person with children in a street in Poland;
- that same somebody concluded that black ppl are now preparing for a lengthy stay as he saw a black person with children in a street in Poland;

- the co-posters agreed that black ppl are preparing for a lengthy stay in Poland as somebody saw a black person with children in a street in Poland;

- the co-posters agreed that black ppl probably have been spotted near Polish social welfare offices;
- the co-posters agreed that black ppl are only here to steal Polish women who cannot say no because they are coloured;
- the co-posters agreed that black ppl are only here to live off the money of hard working and tolerant Polish ppl;

- Crow says the time to start a Slavic confederation is now;
- Crow uses the presence of a musical group that plays Irish traditional music in Serbia as proof that Irish descent from the Serbians;
- Crow uses credible Facebook groups as source;

- the renowned historian that goes by the name of Drakul chooses to share the revelation that Trojans, from Troy in Asia Minor, are actually Slavs, on the equally renowned forum of Pravda;

Part 2 in one or two weeks or a month, depends; usually there is enough material within one or two weeks.

>^..^<

M-G (uninspired)

Oh , so the flooding in Poland is caused by coloured people....i thought it was just because we had too much rain......Why are they doing it....?

It's them being evil and pulling pranks all the time, wildrover.

>^..^<

M-G (sb should go tell 'em!)

Refers to post #104 in this thread.

Ah. Two years on and they're still at it I see. I think it's about time I penned another edition. I have so much time on my hands now that there is no longer footballl on every day.

It's just started again recently when WB got yet another of his jealousy rages. Must be the steroids :)

>^..^<

M-G (haec hactenus)

I shall have to investigate this further. What's he jealous about?

I don't know. He doesn't seem to appreciate my jokes. And once he gets into a fit like that, who am I not to put some gasoline on the fire? :)

But btw, isn't the use of anabole steroids forbidden on PF?

Edit: maybe he wants to get back at me for calling his muscle-thread gay?

(wonders)

You mean the "fat boy" joke?

I thought that to be the case;)

Mind you if they ever ban Prozac for browsing more than three threads I think I'm going to have to leave!

No, that's just when he gets obnoxious :)

Maybe it's good to know that to me PF is entertainment, nothing more, nothing less. Should put some of my remarks into context.


Same here - Prozac, my lifeblood here on PF :)

(nah)

It doesnt matter what it is for u but what u give the same u get in return :P

Indeed, only I didn't start it :)

>^..^<

M-G (so)

hey, i thought we had a talk about this? freaking quit it please..

What are you talking about? I haven't used the word in ages. This quote probably is from before the problems you had with the Dutch version of the Polish capital's name.

>^..^<

M-G (now apologize)

What's wrong with "Warschau"?

Why would you call POLISH capital city using GERMAN name when talking in ENGLISH? You certainly have some ideas why Poles may not like it...

Why do you think the English call Berlin "Börlin" or Nürnberg "Nuremberg"? It happens everywhere all the time...

I heard that term used the last time I was in Berlinski.

English people use English names to call cities. Why English speaking person would use GERMAN name to call a Polish city?

*thinks it's pretty obvious why it may be offensive for Poles*


LOL

"Berlinski" :)

I am in Poland right now and it seems that PF is a pure reflection of Poland to some degree:). More later.......

yeah, i think it is.. sry but none the less it's a good reminder for others..


do i have to come through the screen and kick your kraut butt?? ;) :D


oh, we gotta hear this.. :(

That, I fear, is an image I will take with me to my grave...