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PF - The Omnibus Edition


OP szarlotka  8 | 2205  
13 Oct 2008 /  #451
Strum along with this one. (with apologies to Mr Zimmerman)

Come gather round posters
Wherever you’re from
And admit that the warfare
Around you is just like the Somme
And marvel once more
At whose home is the best
If your time on here
Is keeping you from liasin’
Then you better start runnin’
Or they’ll think you a pest
For the posts they are amazin’

Come loonies and fanatics
Who love Islam or Zen
And given a chance
Will be back once again
And don't be a Turk
For they'll call you a burk
And there's no telling when
That it's ever to end
For the good that are here
Will just get a smirk
For the posts they are amazin'
Shawn_H  
13 Oct 2008 /  #452
Vincent

Excellent summary Vincent, A round of golf applause to you!
outintheyard  27 | 517  
13 Oct 2008 /  #453
So nice to read such cheer. Where is Miranda? Is she no longer hear?
polishgirltx  
13 Oct 2008 /  #454
Where is Miranda? Is she no longer hear?

miranda got pissed and she's making circles on her bike now.... ;)
Filios1  8 | 1336  
13 Oct 2008 /  #455
Where is Miranda? Is she no longer hear?

I believe it was Justysia who put her over the top...
OP szarlotka  8 | 2205  
13 Oct 2008 /  #456
Are they banned or just sitting down in their respective corners having a rub down before the next round?
Filios1  8 | 1336  
13 Oct 2008 /  #457
respective corners having a rub down

I tried to console both of them by telling them they could come to my place for a few drinks and talk it over, but they would not listen to words of wisdom.
outintheyard  27 | 517  
13 Oct 2008 /  #458
miranda got pissed and she's making circles on her bike now

that reminds me of the wizard of OZ . The scene When she is on the bed inside the twister looking out the window.
OP szarlotka  8 | 2205  
17 Oct 2008 /  #459
Only 7 days to go before the Birthday Edition....Best start writing it then
Daisy  3 | 1211  
18 Oct 2008 /  #460
Oh Good!! I'm crossing the days off :)
Shawn_H  
18 Oct 2008 /  #461
I got my investments in Diageo PLC all lined up! Should be due for a rise in share price.
miranda  
21 Oct 2008 /  #462
looking around, nothing has been written, walking away sulking ;(
Daisy  3 | 1211  
21 Oct 2008 /  #463
3 more days to go
OP szarlotka  8 | 2205  
21 Oct 2008 /  #464
Stop counting... it's making me nervous
miranda  
23 Oct 2008 /  #465
one more day. sorry Mr Szarlotka:) but I hope you are too busy to feel nervous
OP szarlotka  8 | 2205  
23 Oct 2008 /  #466
but I hope you are too busy to feel nervous

Very busy but not writing the old Omnibus I'm afraid......
OP szarlotka  8 | 2205  
23 Oct 2008 /  #468
Ladies and Gentlemen,

It may have escaped your attention, but the 24th October marks the first anniversary of the initial publishing of the Omnibus Edition. It hardly seems possible that a whole twelve months has passed. There are a few more grey hairs, a few less brain cells and a bit more cellulite on bottoms and inner thighs everywhere. In order to mark this auspicious occasion, we are honoured to announce the inaugural publishing of …..

THE OMNIBUS EDITION BIRTHDAY HONOURS LIST

Our thanks go to our sponsors for making the money available in these difficult times. Without their support and contributions none of this would have been possible. In no particular order we have to thank:

• The Rose and Crown for hosting the judging
• Winalot for the food
• Spearmint Rhino for the inspiration to carry on
• Lehman Brothers for the un-cancelled corporate credit card
• Arthur Guinness & Son for refreshments and moral support
• Noimmigration for the money from his sponsored hunger strike
• And finally our dear editor, Ed, for the loan of the pens and paper and his generous gift of pork scratchings.

Without them all we could not be here today.

Without further ado we can move on to the stunning array of awards on offer this evening.

Most Original Thread

We admit this is going to be controversial. There are over 12,000 of the little beggars to choose from. On top of that a lot of them have been cleared away by Admin’s super efficient broom over the year. Nevertheless we have short listed 4,365 of them where the authors were seeking a Polish Princess or two. The carefully differentiated nature of the requests, the painstaking descriptions of the would be suitors and the effortless charm that leapt out at you clearly set these threads aside from the rest of the dross on here.

The Good Citizen Award

This is awarded to the member who has done the most to aid their fellow citizens in the year. The nominations are:

Admin, for the service, the smiles and for not banning me for a whole year
PolskaDoll, for doing most of Admin’s work, acting as the big tough bouncer in ejecting eejits and for not banning me
Polson – for single-handedly running not one but two football score prediction games, collating the results and teaching the less gifted of us how to count.

And the winner is Polson - Je ne parle pas bien français, mais cet homme est une étoile absolue.

Insomniac of the Year

Many of you have had difficulties sleeping at various times of the year. Shopgirl went through a phase, Osiol had a coffee and cheeses induced bout. However, the clear winner has to be the half Polish, half Greek and half cut Filios1. Days he went sleepless for, to the extent that sleep deprivation drove him to go ever so slightly bonkers for a time. His mild mannered demeanour was replaced by a raging bull approach to all non Poles. Luckily he’s calmed down a bit since.

Looney Tune

This is lovingly awarded to the biggest nutter on PF in the last year. Until recently it was difficult to get the shortlist down to manageable proportions. Recently, however, two outstanding candidates have emerged:

Loveislam, for pasting the whole of his Holy Book in less than 2 days and for preaching to all at the drop of a hat in the vain expectation of converting Wroclaw Boy to Islam

The mad German SS Paganist bloke who came, insulted and was banned in the twinkling of an eye. Can’t even remember his name if the truth be told.

Anyway, we have to award it to the mad German. He was truly screwed up.

Best newcomer

I was going to give this to PolishgirlTX for her refreshing contributions, her assistance in all translations and her being an all round good egg as we Brits say. Then I found out she didn’t like Shawn of the Dead which made me waver. And then along came joepilsudski with the refreshing personal advice column that has changed many of our lives forever. Crazy name, crazy hat, crazy guy.

Musician of the Year

There have been many musicians dropping by over the year. The bassist jnowiski has reappeared. We had the lovable Dutch rock man MareGare with us until he was savaged once too often and disappeared. But for sheer persistence, and for the fact that he has actually posted his work on several occasions, this prestigious award is given to Osiol.

Dog of the Year

We have several people masquerading as dogs on here. Our leader, Gzregorz, has been a Tatra Mountain Dog for ever. Patrcyja19 followed suit. The award this year must go to another dog. One with floppy ears. Step forward Mufasa, champion of smilies.

The Heartbreak Hotel Award

Several of you have loved and lost during the year. Many more of you have probably lost a fortune but that is another story. Three people in particular have held our rapt attention on here as the enormity of their losses was gradually retrieved. Firstly we have the sad case of the idiot fireif. Single handedly he produced half of the content on here for months with his ever more desperate attempts to woo the lovely Annia. Then Irishdeano poured out his heart to us. But there is only one multiple offender. Poor Wildrover has loved and lost and loved and lost and loved again. He disappears for weeks on end and then pops back to tell us what’s happened this time. Poland, Ukraine. You name it he’s been there. Stick at it buddy.

The Eczma award.

This is given to the most persistent irritant on the Forum. Sometimes it abates but then flares up again leaving us with a nasty urge to kill the offender. We considered the Spammer in chief, Vera. A true nuisance but really it’s a no contest. Noimmigration has managed to confuse a legitimate debate on immigration with puerile attacks on the Polish people thereby invalidating any arguments he may have made in his (admittedly infrequent) lucid moments.

The Spice Girls

Posh Spice – Studentka (aka Lady Catalina)
Scary Spice – ShelleyS (Well I wouldn’t want to rub her up the wrong way)
Sporty Spice – Miranda (all that cycling you see)
Ginger Spice – Wroclaw Boy (Espana paid me for this one)

Strongman of the Year

It’s a no brainer. Has to be Vincent the only person to admit to being a Spurs fan. You have to be strong to hold up a whole Premiership.

The Emmenthal Emmy

Given to the PF member who has done the most to [promote the lifestyle benefits of cheese in the year. And the winner is PolishgirlTX.

Word of the Year

Kmiot for the Polish word (thank you G)
Gnarley (thank you ummm_hottie)

Criminal of the Year

And the nominations are:

Szarlotka for plagiarism
The entire country of Russia (according to Cellinski)
Wroclaw Boy for speeding

And I award this to myself (Ed – I told you not to go public with this)

The Chamber of Commerce Award

This is for the PF member who has exhibited the key characteristic that has been shown to be present in all successful people – the ability to focus. None can doubt the amazing focus shown by Southern. His dedication to the glories of Polish women has known no bounds. But even this has been eclipsed by the efforts of one of us. Sadly this has to be a posthumous award. Our dear Slavic friend Crow has moved on to forums new. We shall never forget his pan Slavic passion and the ability to bring it up in any conversation. Relinque in pace dear Crow.

The Rumble in the Jungle Award

This year has seen some titanic struggles in the PF world. Who can forget some of the big fights:

Espana vs everybody else on Formula 1
• MareGare vs Wroclaw Boy
• ShelleyS vs Krysia
• Easy_Terran vs Bubbawoo
• Miranda vs JustysiaS


The jury were unable to come to anything other than a split decision so you can all have an award.

The Hall of Infamy

Each year we intend to induct members into the Hall of Infamy. Think of it as a substitute for the gold watch that your company can no longer afford when they have to retire you 20 years early. This year the dubious honour is bestowed upon:

Seanus, loads of post, loads of common sense
Gzregorz - for the complete transormation from rebel to benign leader
Bubbawoo, for longevity and the best put down lines ever
Sledz – for being Sledzlike
Hueg – wordsmith extraordinaire
Sausage – the name just tickles me
Ukpolska – for technology services in getting i-player to work from Poland
Ranj – for the quotes and humour (humor to you)
Daisy – for a better class of nagging than I get at home

And that brings this year’s ceremony to a close. We would have liked to give all award winners their special prize. It’s just that we put the prize fund in an Icelandic bank to get better interest you see. Never mind, it’s the thought that counts.

For all of the 6,000 plus of you who did not win an award I would just like to say “try harder next year you bunch of wasters”. Become more distinctive. Try posting in the nude or something.

But joking aside, thanks to the vast majority of you for making this such a good place to be. It’s never dull, sometimes as depressing as Coventry city centre on a rainy night, sometimes as uplifting as a WonderBra and sometimes gut wrenchingly funny. Take a bow people.
PolskaDoll  27 | 1591  
23 Oct 2008 /  #469
The Good Citizen Award

And the winner is Polson -

Agree. Well done Polson, I don't know how you manage it but you're a star for all your prediction calculation work :)

Admin and I are happy to accept 2nd and 3rd place (he's 3rd of course ;)

Nice year round up szarlotka :) You missed Baby Spice though... :)

I'd like to add a Best PF Omnibus Reporter subsection to the awards with nominees of szarlotka, Vincent and miranda. It goes to szarlotka this year of course with many thanks. Keep it up! :)
Filios1  8 | 1336  
23 Oct 2008 /  #470
Thank you for the very kind words, Szarlotka... I think I actually shed a tear... :(
SeanBM  34 | 5781  
23 Oct 2008 /  #471
Bratwurst Boy

I think szarlotka is typing the awards for us V.I.P. posters at the moment :p
polishgirltx  
23 Oct 2008 /  #472
great summary szarlotka....
should i give a speech now? ah, better not ... ;)
Patrycja19  61 | 2679  
23 Oct 2008 /  #473
My Leader tells me to thank you for including me in the VIP section ..............

Thank you .................................................................

.............................................
shopgirl  6 | 928  
24 Oct 2008 /  #474
The Spice Girls

Today is also my Birthday, Szar! And thanks so much for making me laugh so hard I nearly fell off my chair! You get an award for that! And maybe a hug too! :)

andthankgodtheinsomniaisgone........
Daisy  3 | 1211  
24 Oct 2008 /  #475
I don't nag!

happy birthday SG :)
sausage  19 | 775  
24 Oct 2008 /  #476
Sausage – the name just tickles me

Woo hoo! I get a mention, even if it is only for one of the many words I have typed...
Bratwurst Boy  8 | 11825  
24 Oct 2008 /  #477
I think szarlotka is typing the awards for us V.I.P. posters at the moment :p

:):):) That must be it! :):):)
Vincent  8 | 796  
24 Oct 2008 /  #478
Has to be Vincent the only person to admit to being a Spurs fan

Thanks for the adward Mr Sz, but will I have to give it back in May, when we break into the top four? :) Excellent edition and happy birthday.
OP szarlotka  8 | 2205  
24 Oct 2008 /  #479
Time is money....money is precious....

I refer SeanBM and Bratwurst Boy to the above opening from the very first post in this thread. Sorry guys but I ran out of time. There were so many more 'recognitions' that I wanted to make. Here is a potted sample:

BB for teaching us that Germans DO have a sense of humour
dcchris for revealing that some Americans DO understand football and don't all call it soccer
The early work of Ola123 in warning us of the property crash and showing that socialism is alive and kicking
Giles for the quality of his insults....

The list would be endless and work is a bit demanding at present. The last paragraph sums it up really. It's a great Forum with great people (largely).
espana  17 | 947  
24 Oct 2008 /  #480
Ginger Spice – Wroclaw Boy (Espana paid me for this one)

thank you , good business :)

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