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PF - The Omnibus Edition


miranda  
9 Sep 2008 /  #301
I was thinking more of a pick on some poor soul once a week and insist they write the Omnibus or else face the massed hoards of mocking vooces if they duck out of it.

that is a splendid idea and I agree with the rest of your post.
Daisy  3 | 1211  
9 Sep 2008 /  #302
It would be nice to have a few people summing up the week from a Polish or Poland based perspective.

Grzegorz could do the abridged version
outintheyard  27 | 517  
9 Sep 2008 /  #303
I do not know where you get the time, but it is appreciated. Just my pennies worth.
OP szarlotka  8 | 2205  
9 Sep 2008 /  #304
but it is appreciated.

Thanks very much. As for the time I can type very quickly and I don't stop for sense checks.

Grzegorz could do the abridged version

Splendid idea. Many kmiots and yawns. No waffle, just hard hitting in yer face commentary. Come on G, volunteer. You know it makes sense for leaders to lead from the front.
shopgirl  6 | 928  
9 Sep 2008 /  #305
Rule 3 of being a man states "If all else fails, open the manual"

hehe...that sounds like me.

my god I hate reading manuals...."just play around a bit and see what happens", that's MY motto :)
outintheyard  27 | 517  
11 Sep 2008 /  #306
Manuals are best use for fires starters. Or they can occasionally be used to make confetti
LondonChick  31 | 1133  
11 Sep 2008 /  #307
How about rotating it? I don't mind contributing once in a while....
Daisy  3 | 1211  
11 Sep 2008 /  #308
How about our leader doing it next!!
OP szarlotka  8 | 2205  
12 Sep 2008 /  #309
Welcome once more from the palatial offices of the PF Omnibus Edition team. Well to be honest the offices are not palatial and the team is actually now just Szarlotka. Due to the recession, the complete lack of sponsorship and the absence of advertising revenue, I have reluctantly had to let the researchers go. Times are so hard it was no longer possible to continue to provide them with even their meagre remuneration – three pints, a packet of salt and vinegar crisps and a copy of Nuts magazine. Well that’s life I guess.

It’s not the end of the world as we know it.

The spanner heads at CERN have, after all, not doomed us to life as anti-matter particles. Although to be fair their clockwise, anti-clockwise beams have not collided yet. We have at least 27 days left to indulge in all sorts of things that you do with a few days of life left. This may include asking the boss for a raise, asking the boss’ PA out for dinner, finally learning to play the piano or even being nice to a German.

So near but yet so far.

An outstandingly funny post emerged from Ms Joannat. In it she set out very clear terms of engagement for a deep meaningful relationship with a suitably endowed man. Well endowed in this context included him having a nice car, good income, deep pockets and any level of attractiveness other than pug ugly. For the first time ever, Szarlotka could tick most of the boxes so threw his hat into the ring and went off for a good night’s sleep. Arising early the next morning, imagine his dismay to find that Admin had wiped the thread. Oh well back to married life for me then. I bet she looked like the back end of a bus anyway.

Oh I would purge 500 posts and I would purge 500 more.

Yep. The monthly purge of off topic has occurred once more. Once more we have had all sort of goodies removed. The world will now never know which of my musical submissions reduced Osiol to tears of anger and frustration. Is Sledz an early or late Pink Floyd Fan? Does Michal really like Wagner? Historical records of fact have been lost for ever. Unless of course there is a copy of the stuff in the Bodleian Library at Oxford. For the benefit of Newbies, if you love to see your post numbers growing just post in the serious categories and leave Off Topic to us serial offenders.

Groundhog Day

No sooner has Admin cleared down oodles of material, blow me down if old chestnut topics don’t mysteriously reappear. I mean, look at this lot that have come back post purge:

• Are Polish Women Easy?
• What do men look for in a woman?
• What do women look for in a man?

By my rough calculation this must be the fourteenth reincarnation of these beauties. For future reference I intend to provide my definitive responses, given that this is sticky thread and presumably will survive long enough to form part of my epitaph (which means 4 days if I don’t get my £50 back Szar – Ed). Here goes:

• They are easier if they speak English, note easier not easy. If they only speak Polish then they are very, very difficult.
• Men want charm, good looks, sophistication, short dresses and a potential father-in-law with a spare season ticket to Anfield in a woman
• Women want charm, good looks, sophistication, pert bottoms and a potential mother-in-law who is dead in a man.

Next candidate for the Lazarus thread award will probably be ‘What are your most embarrassing moments?’

Anarchist seeks global pen pals.

Well it makes a change to have requests for company from sources other than crazed lonely nutters or African web bots. Some German anarchists want to be friends with us all. Damned if I understood the logic since it went off to discussions about the SS. Were they friendly anarchists? Anyway, Hueg put them right. At least I think he did as he wrote back in German. Flash one that Hueg. Maybe they could be friends with Crow? Although I’m not sure whether pan-Slavics are anarchists. If nothing else they could have an interesting chat even if at the end of it they agree to knock the spots of each other.

Predictions are entirely predictable

Polson has roped in at least 12 of us to guess the football scores and taken on the onerous job of scoring the results and fielding all disputes. As predicted Szarlotka is languishing in last place. Never mind, England won in Croatia so I don’t really care that much.

And Finally…

There have been no volunteers to be the second ‘guest’ writer of the Omnibus Edition. Obviously following Miranda has been too daunting for most. Daisy has volunteered the Dear Leader, aka Gzregorz, to give us a Polish view on the great debates on here. So far the Dear Leader has not responded, being pre-occupied with the great affairs of state that he must deal with. Therefore I suggest as many of you as possible send him a PM pleading with him to give us a lead in these difficult and challenging times.

That’s all for now. Have a great weekend people.
Daisy  3 | 1211  
12 Sep 2008 /  #310
Another wonderful weekly round up, good one pan Pie :)

I am very, very disapointed with Grzegorz :( I am going to start a coup
miranda  
12 Sep 2008 /  #311
Obviously following Miranda has been too daunting for most.

I doubt that very much. It is a lot of work to dig through those threads.

Good edition again Mr Sz. Have a nice one too:)
outintheyard  27 | 517  
15 Sep 2008 /  #312
We all need to realize that Miranda does have a life to live too and school to top that. It seems good writing is missed quickly when it is not there.. The time to write is often not available and the apppreciation is great for those who do take that much time. They are the one who make PF thrive.
shopgirl  6 | 928  
15 Sep 2008 /  #313
PF is going through another "full moon phase".
People are behaving a little oddly, and tempers are short.

Patti has just made Southern hall monitor for sexual innuendo in PF.

Something like this could only happen during a full moon :)

Somebody get Sobottka a new straight jacket please. He keeps wriggling loose of the old one.

:)

(mini stab at an Omni) hehe
Shawn_H  
15 Sep 2008 /  #314
Patti has just made Southern hall monitor for sexual innuendo in PF.

The fox in charge of the hen house...
shopgirl  6 | 928  
15 Sep 2008 /  #315
Still.... I wouldn't mess with Patti when she's on a mission :)
Patrycja19  61 | 2679  
15 Sep 2008 /  #316
szarlotka

great post..

Patti has just made Southern hall monitor for sexual innuendo in PF.

Something like this could only happen during a full moon :)

lol.. southern offered and I think its a great idea.. glad someone noticed
his breaking free :)
Bratwurst Boy  8 | 11821  
15 Sep 2008 /  #317
Great Omnibus Szarlotka!

(ButwhydoIstillthinkyouareagirl???? Szarlotka is so feminin!)

:)
Wahldo  
15 Sep 2008 /  #318
Patti has just made Southern hall monitor for sexual innuendo in PF.

Fantastic.. lets stamp out all sense of humor on here. Funny, for a place that roasts the Nazis daily.
OP szarlotka  8 | 2205  
16 Sep 2008 /  #319
ButwhydoIstillthinkyouareagirl???? Szarlotka is so feminin!)

In my best manly baritone I can assure you BB that I am 100% male. I can only do a single task at one time. I hate shopping. I often wear odd socks. I always forget to put the top back on the toothpaste tube. I cut down trees, I press wild flowers……

Having a feminine sounding PF name does have it’s disadvantages, like getting romantic PMs from the love surfing lonely males. Maybe I should change it. I mean John Wayne didn’t like his rela name – Marion wasn’t it?
outintheyard  27 | 517  
16 Sep 2008 /  #321
I cut down trees

I don't have to. The winds blew again here over the weekend and I have plenty laying on the ground. It has been a most viloent year here. Lost the garden, tore up the peach trees, a plum tree. and now the pear trees are all broken, Oh , and an apple tree too. At least I have not lost any buildings as some have. Anyone who wants to spend a weekend in the woods is welcome to visit.
Patrycja19  61 | 2679  
16 Sep 2008 /  #322
Fantastic.. lets stamp out all sense of humor on here. Funny, for a place that roasts the Nazis daily.

yep sense of humor and sexual comments dont have any place together

you think its ok to let kids see this?

Like I told southern, MY daughter walked up to the computer screen and
was looking at it.. I had to cover it up..

thats pathetic when sense of humor and sexual derogatory comments can
be put in same context..

I cant keep it from them when they are older, But I would think you and
others wouldnt want your children looking at crap like this ,and isnt this
why we monitor it?

this is a polish forum , NOT BENNY HILL!!

I used to watch him too, but yep he was late night and not when kids
were up and there is a place and time for it.. or do you disagree??
OP szarlotka  8 | 2205  
16 Sep 2008 /  #323
Hidden Depths….

I am delighted to announce the arrival of yet another literary giant here on PF. Below is an admirable Omnibus Edition penned by a shy and retiring PF member - which obviously rules out some of you – who wishes to remain anonymous, at least until the royalty cheques start rolling in. Read on…….

A light hearted look at polish forums by guest writer, Norm D Plume.

Polish invasion….the second coming:

Many poles , will be making their way to England on Thursday, to visit White hart lane, for the big Euro football game. The home office have issued a statement saying, that, despite an anonymous, tip off, and protest , from a man in Glasgow, they will still, be keeping, the jobcentres open as usual. Meanwhile the standing for p/f’s 2010 world cup matches are in. #1 jbman, #2 PolkaDoll’s (boyfriend or father) #3 sausage. Spokesmen for the two big bookmakers say, the smart money is on the “banger” going to the top, when he plays his game in hand.

Hurricane strikes twice:

P/f members, Svenski and polishgirltx, had to put on wellies and hard hats, last weekend, in anticipation, for the tail end of hurricane Ike arriving in Dallas. All was well though, and it was almost possible, to hear the sigh of relief, from all the young men all over the UK when their favourite girl started posting again. It was bad luck too, for the poor girl, a day earlier, 1500 of her posts were blown away, by admins monthly clear out.

Squats, fries and video takes:

P/f member telefonitika, got a glimpse into the future, when she came across a demonstration, of the new European, ‘open plan toilets’ in Krakow last week. The Donny lady, give it, both thumbs down, most members agreed, with some asking , how low, can they go.

Another member just back from Krakow, the adorable, bi-lingual Dubliner, Poor Edward, posted a journal of his trip. Cuisine loving folks, wondering what delights, our man tried out, were left disappointed, when the young traveller declared , he dinned only, on big macs, beer and vodka.

Highlight of the week, was a musical and video masterpiece, by the forums lovable pet donkey. Smoothing banjo music, accompanied by animation, was a breath of fresh air. Many people in the know, are forecasting, the new album will be in the shops at Christmas.

On yer bike mate!

P/f boasts some of the fittest members on any forum, with the founding of the new biking club. Many members from all corners of the globe, have been exchanging their views on bikes trips with others. One female member said that she has other interests as well, and quoted the words, swimming, young man and speedo’s. It is not clear,at this stage, if she is leaving the club,or, was just asking for a translation.

Unusual thread of the week:

. The polish handshake. Arguments have been breaking out, why the polish handshake is so strong and firm. Some have debated that it is the strongest grip in the world, and many agree, but, come on folks , can it really, be stronger than the grip of a Scots man, holding on, to a £5 note?

Some threads that complimented each other.

*I found Christ on this forum ; Looking for 3bd flat in Warsaw*

*My polish boyfriend fancys are pakistani neighbour .What do i do ? ; Say Hello. Wave Goodbye*

*I need a good dictionary! ; I married a Polish girl once.*

Have a good day folks, and keep those posts coming. Regards Norm.

I think you will agree – a splendid effort
polishgirltx  
16 Sep 2008 /  #325
for the poor girl, a day earlier, 1500 of her posts were blown away, by admins monthly clear out.

i do not even count my own posts pie... great omnibus, thanks...
OP szarlotka  8 | 2205  
17 Sep 2008 /  #326
do not even count my own posts pie

Pie didn't write that. it was our anonymous guest omnibus writer.
miranda  
17 Sep 2008 /  #327
it was our anonymous guest omnibus writer.

so who was it. I have some questions for that person LOL
outintheyard  27 | 517  
17 Sep 2008 /  #328
It was not me , however, I can answer your questions. I am a wealth of information.
Daisy  3 | 1211  
17 Sep 2008 /  #329
Pie didn't write that. it was our anonymous guest omnibus writer.

Under the Freedom of Information Act, i demand you tell us who it is?

It wasn't Jesus was it?
miranda  
17 Sep 2008 /  #330
It was not me

sorry, I need that person.

All I can say is that he/she uses a lot of commas;), unless Szar just put them there this time around. Not. Also the spacing is different.

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