I really don't have time today to answer all the nonsense and offensive phrases directed at me or discuss this train wreck of a thread, so here are my main points just in case:
Offensive phrases directed at you only, really? You've called at least one person here a moron simply for disagreeing with you and indirectly blamed my friend's divorce and his wife's infidelity on him (it takes two, remember?). Then you implied I was a cheater since I was the person who suggested mandatory testing. (your paragraph #4).
I'd say your "phrases" are just as offensive if not more.
You say that you believe in equality yet you look at everything from the prism of your own vagina, and that's a total BS. You hate discrimination, you hate sexism, you hate racism, etc. Welcome to the club because I do too. Yet your egalitarian views stop when it comes to issues that some of us men find unfair.
I never suggested the testing should be covered by the taxpayers. If you have kids you pay the bills, a $40 test (i looked it up for this thread) is all we're talking about. Although I find it ironic that a person who constantly bemoans the US for not having a larger government, universal health care, etc. suddenly doesn't want the taxpayers to foot this particular bill. This must be something new for you but that's not important here.
Either way - no you are wrong, I have never ever cheated as that is not who I am. I know that religion isn't your thing but it is for me. However that has nothing to do with religion but with your personality, my mother didn't raise me to be a cheating scumbag. So once again, you're way off.
and no I'm not a catholic as someone else implied (irrelevant but still).
If you review my past threads you'll see that I hate when women are taken advantage of, when they're mistreated and unappreciated. ...and I frequently speak up on those issues here and in my private life. However, just because many women are wronged doesn't mean I should look the other way when some men are wronged too.
To say it's ok for a man to keep paying child support for a kid that isn't his year after year is simply preposterous. If he's doing it willingly I'm all for it and in fact my hat is off to him. However if he's paying because he was lied to then it's wrong, it's callous and it's selfish. It's not fair to the child either. Revenge justice at best yet you said yourself you were ok with that.
The idea is not a popular one and I'm sure will never be implemented for many reasons but I suggested something worthy a discussion, that's all. One way or the other a man should have the right to know if the child is his. Too many men have been lied to and a simple test takes care of it.
1. Mandatory paternity tests are nonsense. People who have doubts should request them on case to case basis and pay for them out of own pocket. I don't want my insurance rate to raise because some people will not take responsibility for their actions. I don't know the law, if they require woman's consent or not, but I believe men should be able to request the test without woman's consent but only if it's in the best interest of the child.- You totally missed my point here. The one about deceit and skillful lying. Some men never, ever find out that "their" children aren't really theirs. Some find out years and years later (child support can never be repaid). They are a minority I'm sure but yes, they do exist.
Your idea wouldn't work as if a person doesn't suspect something than why would he request a test?
2. People should take their vows seriously, and even if they are not married they should stick to one partner. Not only it solves the problem of paternity conflicts, but also excludes the risk of spreading the STDs and HIV.- Here I agree with you 100%, in fact more than 100% but have you looked at the divorce statistics? Some 50% of marriages end up in divorces, so what happened to those vows?
3. However people cheat, men and women. But the society looks more sternly at a cheating woman. It should be regarded as equal offense.- You're right and according to a Swedish paper a read a while back men and women actually cheat about just as much. Women more often when they're young, men more often when they're approaching the middle age, women often deny it when surveys are done, men sometimes brag about it in those surveys. Not sure how accurate the article was but in a nutshell there are male and female sluts out there - no doubt about it.
The double standard is out there, things are changing but for now yes there's a double standard and often women are their own fiercest critics.
I certainly don't condone this double standard but why are you throwing your revenge ideas into this equation? If the society looks differently at cheating women versus cheating men how does that change the fact many men pay child support for children that aren't theirs? Two different subjects. If the men are aware of it and are ok with I'm all for it but if it's done through lies and deceit then how do those societal disparities even come into picture here? A wrong is always wrong, whether applied to a man or a woman.
You're correct when you say both men and women cheat, it's despicable but it's a fact of life. In a previous post you even said that the wife of my friend cheated on him because he must have done something wrong. In my view if a person is unhappy for whatever reason then he/she should leave the marriage BEFORE he/she starts looking for a new partner. Cheating is ALWAYS wrong, there simply are no excuses.
4. People look at others through the prism of their own values and character traits. The ones who are cheaters themselves will project that trait on others. Therefore I believe those who scream the loudest that the paternity tests should be mandatory are most likely cheaters themselves (e.g. they are banging some married woman on the side) and therefore have serious trust issues.- On this issue the only prism that you look through is your own vagina. I'm very bunt but so are you. You love the status quo because if you were to cheat on your husband and get pregnant with another man you could keep that a lie for a long time, possibly for ever. You also enjoy when men are treated unfairly as it fulfills your sense of revenge justice.