d for some weird reason think I am sick for wanting a 15 or 16 yr old
Age appropriate depends on your age. AOC laws are a messy legal workaround to the problem of individual development - some people can deal with sex relatively soon after puberty others are nowhere near read even a couple of years after. Always err on the side of caution - don't look for partners under the age of 18. When you hit the age of 22 or so you can apply the old 'half your age + 7' rule. so that when you're 25 your lower age limit should be 19, when you're 30 it should be about 22 etc....
why arent you or society or media even mentioning polanskis sex life
He is a sick and broken individual with abnormal predatory instincts toward young women (possibly caused by the trauma of his wife's murder). When he's dead I won't mourn him (beyond probably wishing his demise had been more painful). He is not anyone a mentally or morally healthy person should use to justify their own broken status.
You're the problem, only you can fix the problem. Therapy and the possiblity of a happier non-broken existence is behind door number one and prison and/or untimely death is behind number two.... the choice is up to you and you alone.