Not used to dating a Polish man

I have been dating this guy, he came over from Poland 6 years ago...speaks english and everything but he cant understand that in America you dont treat your girlfriend like a dog. I dont know if he just doesnt know how to treat a girl or if its a culture thing...he doesnt call all day or answer me...i rarely see him...i dont know what to do

Dump him...or do you like being treated like a dog?

BTW, it's not a cultural thing, it's a "him" thing!

Thats what i figured...I'm 100% polish so i know the culture and no one in my family treats people like this...i dont know...i really like him..i always have that maybe he'll change idea in my mind...i know im crazy

I thought you are looking for a PL man......

I am looking for a polish man...one that doesnt treat me like crap...im broken up with the one i was talking about...just broke up with him...

good for you and good luck with the next one.

Good luck...there are plenty here in NJ. Ever go out in Brooklyn? The accent thing is kinds strange...are you seroius with that? If this is really an issue, then why don't you meet someone in Poland?

they dont have to have an accent...its just something i like...

I'd look around in Bklyn then. NJ is ok, but it seems liek most are born here. Maybe there are students, but it looks like you may want someone older. I'd try going out in Greenpoint or Williamsburg

are there any dating websites I can go on?

I actually treat my Dogs better than most humans:)


Hey PLK, you are Polish....perhaps you can be her next one;)

do i have an accent? i do in polish, so it seems. :/

Just a slight hint of one underneath your American accent;)

Hi! I met a polish guy that came to the US 6 yrs ago too! He seems like a player...im not really sure. I think he gets a lot of girls numbers daily :(

Ur from New York State?

Zgubiony
hahaha I from NYC and its true Greenpoint a lot of Polish people. But if you really want a good Polish man u need not to find a polish man in NYC there is no man good in NYC. You have to venture out and go to Chicago there are so many polish men there. Thats where my husband is from and he moved to NYC, and he is really good guy. Treats a woman or me with respect always. Good Luck and next time you meet a guy that doesnt call u all the time its not a cultural thing its a him thing!

Some men are good other men are bad. Polish non polish it is just an accident not a consequence.
I think most men are nice when they meet the right girl and vice versa.

princepessa

maybe you need to develop a bit of intellect and a critical faculty.. I think they sell them in a shop in NYC.

Ahahahahaha- sorry I don't think he's your boyfriend.

I had a bf who was like that kind of. First he treated me well, like I was a person and then he later progressed into what you were talking about. He wasn't a Pole though he was a German/Ukrainian/English Yank. In the beginning he would make all of these promises and be really sweet almost as if he was trying to lure me in and then when he had me hooked he would never call treat me like crap but at the same time expect me to maintain loyalty and trust him. When I ignored him and never called him though, he wanted me back badly. But after that if I was sweet and nice he would ignore me. It was a terrible relationship to be in. Its not a Polish thing, he just has problems with himself.

He's not, she dumped him two years ago, lol :)

From reading these comments, I have a similar story. It is not my intention to generalized a particular ethnicity, but he was/is Polish. Charming, a gentleman at first. Needs to feel like a man and show of his maleness and have you let him know you appreciate it. Needed much ego stroking. He got a greencard out of a marriage that lasted 1.5 years and the wife filed for divorce and he states he does not know why. His divorce was finalized 10 months ago, that's 4 years since he got married. So, that's red flag #1: Guy does not know what caused the divorce. Later I discovered as he hinted that she thought he was having an affair. He likes to show that he has money by driving a mercedes benz, wearing designer clothes and accessories.... later I discovered he's a regular on craigslist and has it as one of his bookmarks. I also caught him purchasing a Prada wallet for $30 on the site. From this, I did not think he had deep pockets but then he would take off to west coast trips twice a month on a spur of the moment kind of thing. We went to about 3 places to eat in total during our 7 months together (looking back we weren't together after all--everything becomes clearer in hindsight). Each time he would take me out it he would say to me, "You're not hungry are you?" And would want to split things with me. Yuck. Big turn off. Was this developed from his years in Poland during communists' rule? He wanted me to drive him to the airport in the winters because I found out that he did not want to damage his baby mercedes... not to mention it was rear-wheeled and dangerous to drive in winter conditions. For new years he surprised me by taking me to the local hospital where we worked and had me wait in his car for 20 minutes only to come out with two canvas bags full of bottled juices. I discovered it being the last day of the year and he not having used up all his meal card money for the month wanted to take advantage of it before time ran out. If that does not smell cheap and narcissistic to you, I don't know what does. But without having to go into further detail, that pretty much sums up his behavior during our whatever it was we had. Beware of such a people and run in the opposite direction before he starts mistreating you as all narcissists end up doing. Moral of this story: Don't judge a book by its cover and trust your instincts.

Was this developed from his years in Poland during communists' rule?

Communism finished in 1989. It is long enough to stop blaming it for people`s vices.

That must have sucked. Hopefully you're over him now, sounds like you can do better.

lol! ah such a charmer ;). from what I've seen and heard from friends, Polish guys in Poland will treat a woman nicely, offer to pay, open doors, even pull the chair out. it seems they forget about that once they go abroad, although the guys I worked with (not dated them though, they were all married) were always polite to women too, but then their marriages fell apart so I dunno... haven't dated any Polish guys in UK, but a couple of old work colleagues (British) dated Polish men and they sounded a bit like the men from stories above, very elusive after they got their assurance from the girl and never took them out anywhere nice. one was actually sacked from his job at the local pub because he was stealing money from the tampon machine in the ladies room ha ha...

That sounds like such a pointless crime... is this spreading? Will we see more and more tampons go missing..? And a sign on every ladies' room door saying: No Poles allowed, as such or otherwise..?

well he obviously wasn't stealing tampons (although *apparently* some people soak tampons in vodka and shove them up their &%$£), he just got caught breaking into the machine and stealing the change that women paid with for tampons, painkillers etc. quite embarassing as I don't imagine there would be a lot of money in there, especially if it's just a pub and not some busy nightclub or something.

i am dating a man who came to canada from poland... he definetly doesn't treat me like a dog. He expects possibly more femininity from me than some men raised in Canada and he is very macho in some ways but he does not give orders, we have discussions, he listens to my point of view. I have found that with him i have to assert myself more but if he can come down from his macho high horse he is usually able to listen and if he isnt i just do what i want anyway and he rarely notices especially if soccer is on :) In all serious though i have found him to be respectful he likes when i do his laundry or iron his things he appreciates it more than a canadian born and raised guy would but he does not expect it... if that makes sense.

I believe you've spoken to him about it, if not, please do. Let him know how his behavior makes you feel.If he still doesn't change, then I think you should move on with someone who'll treat you the way you want.