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Polish traditions and customs in a relationship - payments


johnny reb  48 | 7733  
7 Mar 2016 /  #31
Excellent post Ziemo,
She knows exactly what buttons of yours to push to get what she wants skubus.
It's called, "power of the pouter".
She is mentally abusing you as you know how weak us males are.

as she keeps telling me no one else would want me

My advise is to get not only professional help but an open minded female friend with benefits.
Prove her wrong by taking the sex out of the equation in your relationship with her.
When she bats her eyes at you the auto mode will be off and the manual mode of your big head will be doing the thinking.

Just vision to yourself the look on her face when you tell her, "No thank you, I have lost interest in that."
Games Over !
Ironside  50 | 12383  
7 Mar 2016 /  #32
Hmm... we only know one side of the story.
OP skubus  7 | 42  
7 Mar 2016 /  #33
Too true ironside. I'm far from perfect but for all my failings I try to compensate by being as genuine, honest and as fair as I can. I work in a medical profession looking after people when they are at their most vulnerable both physically and mentally. I try and give my wife the same attention as I give others but she sees it as not being enough. Maybe I deserve it I don't know.
dolnoslask  
7 Mar 2016 /  #34
Skubus "Maybe I deserve it I don't know." WAKE UP, what you just said reflects the fact you are in a abusive relationship, this is what battered me and women say to justify abuse (Physical or Verbal) from their partners.
Atch  23 | 4263  
9 Mar 2016 /  #35
regarding her getting half of everything

Forgot to comment on this. Not if you get divorced in Ireland. We don't have a community property law. The court looks at what each person brought to the marriage and one half of the couple is not allowed to profit to an unreasonable degree from the divorce. Any property or money held by either of you or acquired during the marriage by either of you remains your own. In your case, as you already owned the house and have continued to pay the mortgage without any contribution from her, there is no way an Irish court would give her half.The only way the court will split it is if one party will be at a significant loss by not doing so. In your case, with no children, you will keep your house, your wife will keep her savings and you can have a clean split.
Kezcaisim  1 | 37  
9 Mar 2016 /  #36
Lmao OP you are indeed getting cucked.
smurf  38 | 1940  
9 Mar 2016 /  #37
Maybe I deserve it I don't know.

Christ no!

As someone who works in a profession as you, you should certainly that blaming yourself for the failing of others is a bad route to be on.

In your case, as you already owned the house and have continued to pay the mortgage without any contribution from her, there is no way an Irish court would give her half

Exactly

Look, nobody likes to see a marriage ending and if you can save it (you seem to very much love this woman) then both of you need to attend a marriage counselling course. If you're at the end of your tether and if it's time to call it quits then maybe it is.

The thing is no amount of advice is going to give you a certain answer. You need to go with what you truly want. And I think you know what that is, I think you came here to get your opinion reinforced.

Best of luck whatever the outcome
porky pok  2 | 127  
9 Mar 2016 /  #38
have continued to pay the mortgage without any contribution from her

The point is proving in court that she didnt spend a dime.What if she is spending on food,vacations or other expensies etc or even claims to, if the OP has paid that in cash and she is keeping her money in cash or hidden in some foreign account.HSBC Bank is notorious in doing that.Relationshio fights are bloody and sheet goes in it in case of a split.
Atch  23 | 4263  
9 Mar 2016 /  #39
Irish courts don't ask you to prove much. You don't even have to prove that you've been living apart. In Ireland, to apply for a divorce you have to be living apart for four out of the previous five years (they don't encourage quickie divorces) but the court simply takes your word for it. The court will even accept that you were 'living apart' if you were still sharing the house! You just tell them that you were no longer living as man and wife and they will take your word for it. Simple as that. As for division of property:

'a spouse's share in property is determined on a subjective basis by the presiding judge in each case, with reference generally to the circumstances of the marriage, including, but not limited to, an examination of the impact of the roles adopted by the spouses in the course of the marriage...

But as she's not a 'dependent' in that she earns her own living and there are no children, I don't see any Irish judge giving her half of a house that was owned by her husband before they married.

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