I don't think Rafał was scared to be stabbed because he is fairly familiar with violence. Also, £ukasz wasn't afraid of being stabbed either although some nosey people told him about it right when we started dating. Also, the person whom I stabbed and I got back together after I stabbed him.
F - I do not consider myself to be smart but I think that I am a friendly person. If Rafał and I had hung out in England, we could have done fantastic things such as sit in the park and eat lunch and dinner. We also could have gone to the store sometimes. I would have talked to him in a friendly tone of voice. I am very surprised that Rafał doesn't seem to like me. When I lived in Shepherd's Bush, all of my friends and the people in the community I was in were very happy to see me, so I thought Rafał thought the same way, since he was in that group as well. And he did ask me if I wanted to watch a movie with him, it was so kind and thoughtful of him to want to include me.
Thank you SO much for liking my blog, Jon, SO nice of you. I do enjoy purchasing beauty products, clothes, and accessories. I am planning to purchase a dress from Herve Leger next, but I'm not sure if I should get it in dark blue, blue, or red. What do you think? By the way, I did not think that I was particularly ugly until Rafał showed that I disgusted him :(
McDouche, Rafał does not take himself too seriously because he is a humble and down-to-earth person. He is not at all materialistic and he thinks friendship is one of the most important things in the world. I can see it in his face and by the way he interacts with his friends. When I saw the video of him and our friends, I cried because I love them so much and I was afraid I might not be able to find Rafał and his beautiful soul. Strange to think that he does not want to talk to me. Thank you SO much for your (untrue) remark about my being attractive.
To me, Rafał is a beacon of light and hope. He is a very kind man who would never embarrass me. He is always polite and very loyal to his friends. It is very hard for me to believe that this wonderful person lied to me about wanting to be in contact. But yet that seems to be the case and I look up to him too much to not believe him when he says that I am an ugly *****. Yesterday, this guy in public told me that I was good looking and the day before that, a woman asked me if I had done my makeup myself and asked if I had attended a cosmetology school (people do ask me often about my makeup), but I find it impossible to believe them because I admire Rafał so much. I wish I could think of another explanation as to what happened, given that he told Bruce that he would create an e-mail and get back to him the next day. But I cannot think of a plausible explanation other than my ugliness.
Actually, Rafał introduced himself to me once while we were waiting in line. I took that to mean that he is a nice person that goes out of his way to make people feel comfortable and welcome. He talked to me in a very polite tone of voice and did not say anything inappropriate. Also, Rafał comes across in general as an easygoing and friendly person. I have heard him talking to £ukasz. When he talks, he talks in a calm tone of voice and does not raise his voice. In addition, I saw him talking to Janusz (my friend) on the video and it was clear what kind of a person he was. He often has a smile on his face and he does not take himself too seriously. Once, he was arrested because he annoyed some nuns, and I took that to mean that he has a sense of humour.
I may not have known Rafał very, very well, but the first impression is usually right. When I asked £ukasz to be my boyfriend, I had only spoken to him 5 times, each of those times was less than 2 minutes. However, I was more than correct when I concluded that he had a beautiful heart. So what I am trying to say is that you can know someone for a short time, but yet understand what that person is like.
I just phoned Ash, who went to the Upper Room to ask about Rafał. They said that he stopped going there 1.5 - 2 months ago. That would suggest that he is still homeless if he was still using their services that recently, despite the fact that he was working sometime in the past and is now looking for a job again. He said they would try to find out where he was and get back to him. I have no idea how they're going to do that, they probably don't even know his last name. It would have been best if Ash had asked some of Rafał's friends, BUT it's good that he asked the people in charge because my friends are always drunk, so it would have been difficult for them to keep track of time.
I don't really know what it would be like with Rafał if he wasn't homeless because I'm used to doing things with my friends like sitting in the park and eating at certain places, not sure what it would be like if he was working.
I like keeping some of my private details hidden from this forum. I've revealed entirely too much about myself here already. ;)
But Sobieski is right, the kind of advice you're seeking here you should get from your friends.
But I'm curious. What's Upper Room? If Rafal is homeless, where do you think he sleeps? Are you sure he's not playing house with another woman? Your friends are always drunk??
Also, the person whom I stabbed and I got back together after I stabbed him.
that's alright then.......
Listen Uglywoman, 1) Don't call yourself Uglywoman, you need to love yourself first before you can love another 2) All this violence, stabbing etc... violence is ugly. 3) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 4) Stop chasing after the man, if the man is being chased, it is because he wants to get away
F- Sure, no problem ^^ I have asked my friends about it but they don't know what to say >.> The Upper Room is a soup kitchen. I'm not sure where Rafał would be sleeping, no idea at all. Maybe he is now living with a friend, but I know that he is single because it seems that most women don't like to date an unemployed man who recently had problems with drink and the police.
Thanks Maybe, I was happy with my appearance until Rafał rejected me. Men like beautiful women, so if he didn't care to talk to me, I'm clearly ugly. Ash volunteered to go to the Upper Room although I mentioned Rafał wasn't interested in talking to me. So honestly I'm curious to see what happens.
I understand that Rafał may have found a job so he was busy with that, but it only takes 5 minutes to create an e-mail address at the library, and the fact that he couldn't be bothered to do so for 2 weeks shows that he thinks I'm ugly. If I was good-looking, he would be so excited about it that he would have created an e-mail, no doubt about it.
Uglywoman,It could be that you are just not his type,or it may have to do with him feeling that he has nothing to offer you,but even if it was because he thought you were ugly..so what?,so no matter how many men say that you are not....and the fact he never even told you that you were.....you would only trust his opinion on the matter?
I guess I have a hard time believing that he wouldn't want to talk to a good-looking person. But I see what you are saying about him thinking he has nothing to offer as a possibility, although his brain would have had to work fast during our phone conversation >.> I don't see how I couldn't be Rafał's type especially since he doesn't know me my personality very well.
I have been thinking about him since April 2012, what it would be like to sit with him in the park, have lunch and dinner, and walk around.
Rafał is like the type of person who would be absolutely chuffed to talk to someone who is a "long-lost friend" and to talk about his and my daily life, I'm sure of it. Of course, it is possible that Bruce gave him my e-mail address wrong or that he typed it wrong, but it has been 2 weeks and he could have gone to the soup kitchen and told Bruce his e-mail address so that I could contact him directly.
Uglywoman, you seem to think if a man doesn't want to date you, it means he thinks you are ugly. We men are not attracted to women just for their looks. It is possible to find someone physically attractive but to dislike them for other reasons or to like them and just not find a romantic connection.
In the past few days you've revealed that you stabbed an ex boyfriend and stole some cosmetics. I think you're quite pretty, but I would never date a girl who'd done the things you've admitted to having done. I think many men would say the same. Apologies, but the term 'bunny boiler' comes to mind. Sorry to be so blunt but I'd recommend spending less time worrying about how you look and more thinking how you could be a loveable, kind person that a good man (as opposed to an ex-criminal living in a hostel) would want to share his life with.
most women that I know do not like to date a man who does not make at least as much money as them.
But you are unque, Uglywoman, I suppose. I see some beauty. Congratulations !
I'm not really an expert in such "international" affairs and I'm reading this because i have nothing else to do but it seems to me that that guy can be depressed because he is jobless and poor southerners are too proud to exhibit their poverty (especially Poles) . I suspect It must be something psychological....
I am still mystified why you would take such a matter to a forum? I mean...you should talk with friends about this. Why some forum guys/girls are qualified to give you advice?
Uglywoman,well you were able to assess his personality and figure out what you liked about him,based on limited interaction,so it would not be far fetched for him to figure out that you may not be his type.I.m not saying that this is the reason..just a possibility.The other possibility is that the attraction is just not there,and it doesn't have to have anything to do with looks.I wouldn't read too much into it either way.If he doesn't come around....then move on.
Englishman, I see what you are saying, but I have not done anything that Rafał would have disliked me for and he doesn't know me well enough to conclude that he doesn't like me romantically. Yes, I did stab Rafał Chlebowski (same first name, different person), and that was wrong of me. However, it does not seem like the sort of thing to phase Rafał, since he has fought with people as well, I would think. Here is what happened with RC. Let's call him Jasiek because that was his alias and I don't want to confuse you guys. One day I saw Jasiek in Ladbroke Grove ater not having seen him for a week. I walked with him and his friends back to Shepherd's Bush. He said that he had a hangover and that I should talk to someone else. A week later, I got a phone call on my mobile from a girl saying that she and Jasiek had a child and that she lived in Richmond. I later found that it was a call from a girl who disliked me when she found out that my financial situation was different from her one.
I contacted Jasiek's friend Chris and went to his flat. Jasiek told me that it was not true. But he told me to go home and that he was busy playing video games. I did stay there overnight but left in the morning. Jasiek said that he would come with me to my flat in central London that evening. When I went there to collect him, Jasiek told me to **** off, showed me the middle finger, and told me that he didn't care if I left England. That is when I stabbed him in the arm with a kitchen knife. After that, I cried, but Chris and Jasiek told me that it was okay. Then they purchased some vodka and drank it. I wanted to leave, but Jasiek kept saying that he wanted to drink some more. I raised my voice so Jasiek and Chris's roommate, David, assaulted me (no need to go into detail). After that, David physically tried to prevent me from leaving, so I phoned the police and we were all arrested. With that said I definitely regretted my actions immediately afterwards.
Re the makeup, I did not steal the foundation; but rather exchanged my foundation for the proper colour since they had made a mistake when they chose one for me. Even if I had stolen it, I doubt Rafał would mind, since I would think he has stolen things before as well. I remember that once he and £ukasz stole some blankets from the Holiday Inn; I can't blame them because it was cold. I will try to be a nice person as you said English :)
Inspe, oh that might be the case! That he doesn't want to show that he's poor.
Sobieski, it's good to have some opinions about the matter and to be able to discuss my feelings about it.
P3, I see what you are saying. Maybe he thought I seemed shy when I spoke to him. But he didn't seem to have a problem with me whatsoever then, since he did ask if I wanted to watch a movie with him.
It is interesting that he has not been to the soup kitchen for 1.5-2 months. That suggests that he now has some money. I wonder what he is doing now. If I spoke to him I would not want to ask him if he's still on the streets or if he now lives somewhere; don't want to offend him. Bruce doesn't know but he knows that sometimes he had some construction jobs in other parts of the UK. Wish I knew exactly what was going on.
Honestly my biggest concern was that I wouldn't be able to find Rafał and I was very surprised and excited when Bruce told me that he had run into him. I was very excited that I had the chance to talk to him. Rafał just seems like an honest person who would not agree to do something unless he fully intends to do so.
I wonder if Rafał is at the Crisis at Christmas event or what he is doing. Strange to think that he doesn't go to the soup kitchen any more, and doesn't want to mix with the plebs...maybe that's why he doesn't want to talk to me :/
Merged: Apparently, a confirmation that Rafal thought I was ugly
I went to the gym today. I asked one of the personal trainers how to use one of the equipments.
He asked me for my phone number. I gave it to him and then I asked him, "So did you ask for my phone number because you wanted to go on a date" and he said "I can't" in a tone of voice like I was sexually harassing him. Then I asked him, so are you going to call me to advertise your PT? Because I don't need that right now" and he said "No, I just thought you might have questions." Which is possible because I asked him to give me a missed call and if I hadn't asked, he maybe would have done it so that I can call HIM with questions and he can know who it is.
I just feel like he did this on purpose, like acted like he wants to date me so that I would ask about it and then make out like I'm harassing him and confirm that I am ugly.
So I take this as an undeniable proof that Rafał thought I was ugly as well. It sucks so much to be ugly :/
It's possible. But he wanted to embarrass me by pretending to ask in that way so I would ask hey, is it like that, so that he can act like I harassed him. Tough to be ugly in this society. I was already feeling bad about myself about Rafał so Ziyang should have kept his big fat mouth shut. I am not paying to be insulted and mocked, I am paying to use the gym equipment, somehow he misunderstood the purpose of the gym.....
The thing about Rafał is that he would never in a million years do something like this to someone. He is a kind and honest guy. When he asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with him, and if I had been single and had gone with him, and asked him, "Rafał, is this a date?" He would not have said, "No, you ugly *****, I just asked you to go because I thought you liked watching movies and I feel really sorry for you because you are so ugly and everyone laughs at you." He would have just talked in a down-to-earth way. Rafał is a fantastic person and he probably just didn't get back to me because he has been in jail all this time.
You usually get released on bail on own recognisance but if he was being aggressive with the police while being held, or even attacked a police officer, or there is a flight risk, or he has been arrested one too many times, or it's a more serious crime, then they may not let him go the next day. Rafał is probably sitting in a jail cell right now thinking nice thoughts about me like, "Gee, I sure hope Maya is having a nice evening."
I understand and thank you Adam though it is damn hard to believe Rafał was a player since we had all the same friends and they were all beautiful people, so I assumed he must be the same. I'm actually Chinese. So maybe there is 1 ugly Chinese - me :D
I just found out Ash has been pretending to go to the soup kitchen and it's been closed for 2 weeks over the holidays. That's really ****** up of him. He just pretended so he can get in my pants because he tried to make me sleep with him when I was in London. That's really messed up though that he would lie like that, wow. He was saying all this **** about how he asked about Rafał, and he said that the people there said maybe he went to Poland, easy for him to say that so it seems like he tried to ask...of course Rafał didn't go to Poland, ridiculous ****.
It would have been really nice to talk to Rafał but I guess I can't....the fact is he doesn't want to talk to me since I am ugly....
Happy Christmas F stop honey, well I feel kind of depressing because I don't feel good about myself especially when the personal trainer confirmed my ugliness. But as it is I have a gig at a clothing store this afternoon so I'll throw on some makeup, probably try a colour I haven't used yet from YSL's Midnight 5-colour harmony eye shadow and a pinkish lip gloss from YSL, might give me the illusion of feeling better about myself. I'm going to carry on going to the gym and just ignore the personal trainer, just join some classes there and use the equipment.
Shawn yes you are 100% right about the fact that I am in Taiwan :)
uglywoman stop hanging about with losers and wasters, you are worth more than idiots who sit in the park drinking and going to the soup kitchen, you know it.
