Unmarried couples in Poland = pathology

"Taste of Polonia" - try Busia Sofia's golumpkies here!

...scowl.

If you read Polish news you probably know about little girl reported kidnapped and found dead (by the hand of her mother as it seems). The parents are married and religious. Somehow that didn't help them to be good parents.

No-one is saying that ALL married couplses and ALL religious people are good. But statistics shows that the konkubinaty (shack-up relationships) on average produce more home instability, substance abuse, domestic violence, crime and other pathological situations than stable families comprising married parents and their children. Do you really believe that the pathologies widespread amongst Afro-Americans are totally unrelated to the fact that more than 80% come from households comprising unwed motehrs and a changing string of passing-through boyfriends?

No Polonius, it's the other way round. Irresponsible people who drink, sleep around and do not know how to take charge of their life "shack up". It is not concubitate that produces pathology. It is instability and irresponsibility in the first place that produces concubinate (in those cases, because not all concubinates are unstable), and that same instability produces pathology.

One can split hairs and argue whether the cart comes before or after the horse, but the fact remains that we all pay through the nose for unstable pathological households and the kids suffer the most.

Agree, that's why it's important to identify reason, rather than cause. You can't fix somethibg if you don't know what is causing the damage.

I'm pretty sure it was an accident (though I never really believed the mother's story). I'm trying to be charitable and ascribe her behavior to grief-induced panic.

Well, I'm not so sure... The first thing anyone would do is to call emergency. To me shock does not explain not doing this. Let's see.

I am not sure what your talking about here. You don't pray to a cross or to a statue, you pray to God.

Meathead

What are you George Carlin now? There are many more rules in the Bible.


The point is if modern marriage was taken as seriously as it was in the past it would be viewed as somthing to aspire to not to recover from which is I'm afraid is the concensus of this forum. If divorce was as stigmitised as it was in the past people would not jump into marriage without truly knowing the nature of thier spouce. Dating is supposed to be the warm up, practice for something more, greater.....the "freedom" to leave a relationship does not make it stronger. It cheapens the vow taken to ones spouce.

There have been necessary strides made throughout history which should be applauded. Freedom of religion, women's rights ( I am personelly on the fence about this one :) ), democracy. Civil divorce is not one of them. Don't blame the act of marriage for the short comings of the idiots who jumped into marriage without knowing what it stands for. Marriage is not for everyone and at the same time not all couples should have children. If you can't keep a vow to one person what makes you think you should be able to sacrifice for the many.

Accidents will happen of course and I pray for the children in this case to be loved and guided through life in a positive way.

There are different levels of marriage in Poland:
- civil marriage - according to low by Polish Family Code
- church marriage with civil effects - some Churches has right to register it by low (i.e. Catholic, Orthodox, Protestant, Jewish, etc.)
- church marriage without civil effects - some Churches hasn't right to register it (i.e. Mormon, Hinduism, etc.)
- notary agreemend about common assets and mutual responsibility - different agreements are possible
- French type civil contract - this low is not applied and still in disscussion among politics
- atheistic marriage - kind of ceremonies arranged by non-religious people who don't want to involve clerks and priests to their live
- leading common housekeeping - administration formula for unmaried couples living together
- information, heritage and responsibility statements - on sort od official bank, hospital, etc. documents
- bicycle licence, cat's paw marriage, etc
As we see, there is a lot of kinds of marriage in Poland and we can choose the less "pathologic" for us.