Polish girls and American boys (who don't even know where Poland is located ;)

I am dating an American guy who has no idea about Poland, culture, and Polish girls... Before he met me he didnt even know where is Poland! LOL We want to be together but the cultural difference and mentality seem to be too difficult for us... Any tips how to make it work with such cultural difference that share us?

Maybe tell us more precisely what cultural difference do you mean?

Be gentle...

Mainly in social life..... He doesnt like to hang out with my Internationals friends and for me itis hard to find a common language with his friends.... They laugh about something that it is not funny to me at all... They like to make jokes of people who do not understand English etc...

I think, Polish people are not that open up to others; for example, he did introduce me to his entire family (40 people) at once, they were all super nice but I felt intimidated and did not have much to talk about with them.... It seems like they are not interested in different cultures, people... they treat me like American but I am not ..... Hope it does make sense.... :)

I think these are not cultural differences, just his type of personality.
Maybe just talk about it with him.

Maybe he should take the time to read a history book or two, and embrace some cultural values. I'd go as far as to learn Polish if my girl wanted me to. If he's too lazy or dumb to even look at a map to find Poland then maybe you dump his low IQ'ed ass.

He has lots of daughters.

Give him a reasonable amount of time (I repeat reasonable)to adjust to the culture shock. After a while he should realize, once Polish no turning back:)

What is it that you like about him?

I agree, though the missus is Welsh!!! haha

Generally the slavic women entrap you in their spidernet.I don't know how they do it but once you go slavic there is no turning point.

Not in my case! lol....Once bitten twice shy, I'm afraid ;)

Yes it does make sense, you think they should treat you like a Polish princess, you want them to keep asking you so you can tell them how great Poland and Polish people are so they can know straight away who is superior to whom...

You sound like an anti-American complainer. Do the guy a favor and break up with him. Get an "international" boyfriend.

.. That's a fairly good analogy right there.

No idea about polish girls?This is serious case.

For better or for worse American culture is one of inclusiveness. They're including you. It's the culture. It's not a melting pot, it's a melding pot.

1st of all you need a smarter boyfriend and 2nd a more open minded individual to learning your customs and respecting the fact that you are from Poland and your not American. :) Good Luck!

you know whats funny about this whole post is that you both like each other but your not accepting the things that
come with each other.

you both need to open up a little more or it wont work at all. he might not know much about your culture, but it sounds like

you dont know much about his either.. thats what Love is all about .. learning about each other and accepting. if you cant
get past all of it then you should not date outside your country.

Either way I hope for the best for both of you :)

I'm an American guy engaged to a woman from Wroclaw. Although I've dated woman from different ethnicities, my Polish significant other is certainly the most exotic, mainly because she hails from a different culture. Having said that, I've enjoyed learning about Polish culture & history, and love the food (she's an excellent cook). I've even learned basic greetings & formalities in Polish, which came in handy when we visited her family last year.

Olka11, why not try to expose your BF to your culture? He just might develop a new appreciation of you. Good luck.

I find this odd. Does he ever look up maps, study geography and histories of world.

You didn't say where he born or came from. He sound like uneducated male. I would avoid him in first place.
Sorry.

Hey Olka11,

I lived in several countries, & USA was one of them. I found that many Americans do not know how to locate many countries on a map. One American was surprised at the country Kazakhstan, he actually thought that was a "made up country" for the use of the movie "Borat", true story! I do have many educated friends who are American who are knowledgeable about the world geography/cultures, but in parts of the country, many people are NOT exposed to world wide knowledge.

It's VERY SAD. I'm Indian, my ancestors are from India, and people of other countries are aware of that. Yet, most Americans think only of the "Native Americans/Aboriginals" when I mention that I am Indian. The solution to this is better education each year, not just one world history class in middle school and that's it, and also a better exposure of WORLD NEWS in the regular tv news & programming. In Canada, the news, the tv shows, magazines, billboards, events are VERY multi-cultural.

There is definitely a culture difference btwn any two different cultures, I found even a difference btwn Canadian & it's neighbors from the USA, there's even a culture difference there.

I'm Indian & my boyfriend is from Poland, yes our parents have culture differences bc our parents grew up in other countries & also different religions. However my bf & I both grew up in North America from since we were small children, thus our cultures are North American.

My advice, is just educate him in where Poland is, and teach him about your culture. He doesn't have to accept it, but your heritage seems important to you, and if he cares & loves you, he would want to listen to what you have to say, which is about YOU! :-) All the best.

This is to those who think they don't teach world geography in schoool. I'm a teacher in elementary school and we start world geography in 3 rd grade. 4th grade again it is studied. And that is the requirement for all schools in the US. Just because the people you know don't know where a particular country is, does not mean that automatically all American children don't know world geography. Do you know where all the US states are? Can you point them out on a map? Can you name all the states? All the rivers? All US capitals? This is taught in 4th grades, not only do we have to know about the 50 states, their capitals, state birds, state flowers etc, which are the size of some countries, the presidents, that does not mean world geography is not taught. You probably speak english with an accent. Concentrate more on yourself instead of pointing out something that someone didn't know.

You seem to change jobs quite a lot!


Can you name all Polish voivodships with capital cities?


Here we have:


source: https://polishforums.com/travel/watch-airport-personnel-stealing-stuff-53277/

I also remember that you were claiming to do completely different job somewhere else to support your statement about Poles in US being crime offenders.

As I mentioned in my post, I acknowledge that world geography is taught in grade school, however it should be taught every year or at least a requirement in elementary, middle AND high schools. My sister is a teacher, and she taught geography in her American middle school. I also learned geography in an American middle school, my only class in world geography in grade schools.

Like anyone and anywhere in the world, people tend to forget the things they learned from grade school, just look at "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader".

Obviously people forget things they learned many years ago as a child such as what they learned in grade school.

However, when it comes to adults, in comparison to many people i've met from around the world, it's very apparent meeting people who are more knowledgeable than others about world geography & about international cultures. One big difference i've seen is that other countries have more international media, so the international cultural exposure is greater in other countries to the general population, than countries which focus mainly on their own country (politics, sports, entertainment, celebrity gossip, etc). Result is, the general population can tell u about what's going on w Kim Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan, or Snooki, and yet can't locate countries on a map or whats going on in those countries?

If the media focused less on entertainment gossip and more on "NEWS" and "International News" like other countries do, then the American general population would be able to be more aware of world geography & cultures. Also c-span, national public radio, wall street journal, NY times are good USA media sources which do have international news, but its the educated American population who follow actual NEWS, if the general population followed these more worldly media, then they would be more knowledgeable about the world like the general population of other countries are.

Also mentioned in my post I have educated American friends who are well traveled and are aware of other cultures. I have American friends who never left the USA, but the world wide web is at their fingertips and they too are knowledgeable about the world map & world cultures, who also love such programs as National Geographic & the Travel & Food (intl) Channels. And i've met people from other countries who are not familiar with world geography & cultures, people who never traveled & also lived in a cultural bubble their entire lives.

Geography is not important. I used to know all capital cities of countries in whole globe (barring little isles on pacific ocean - I admit honestly;) but now I couldn't recall what the capital city of Kazahstan is when you mentioned it in your previous post. I used to know about 500 geaographical objects (the most important rivers, all seas, mountain ranges, islands. peninsulas, capes etc.) now I probably remember about 5% of it.

What's the purpose of knowing all the countries around the globe when you don't associate them with anything. They are merely set of meaningless phrases for you. I can recite: Nigeria - Abudża, Niger - Niamej, Burkina Faso - Wagadugu, Mali - Bamako, Ghana - Akra, Togo - Lome... what for if I don't know anything MORE about those countries besides their names, just have a general awarness of their existence?

It would be better to make kids to read some memoirs of journeys or reportage of some voyager. It can help raise awarnes on global problems.

There's a big difference an American (US) and a European. An American lives in a huge country, with all sorts of land, scenery, cities, mountains ... basically jump in the car and it's all there, in their own country, where you spend US dollars and talk English. All sports, hobbies, tastes are catered for, somewhere in the US. Canada to the North and Mexico to the South, the biggest problem with the neighbours is illegal immigration or drug smuggling. Then consider Europe. We live in Malopolskie, but still not very far from Ukraine, where politicians are fighting - literally - and in a country which ceased to exist for getting on for 120 years because the neighbours carved it up, then 20-odd years later two neighbours carved it up again and one kept it under control for 50 years before Poland became free again. The neighbours are no so different. Some were not even countries 150 years ago - Germany, Italy, etc - and they always like a good fight, but Europeans in addition to fighting travel to other countries - to ski, to sunbathe, to see historic places ... a much higher proportion travel and history is so much more "on your doorstep". Europe, the great EU, may yet break up, and again the states of Europe may become foes. At the very least, some of the EU member states may break up - the UK, Spain, Italy - it's all happening, just down the road, today. An American could drive 1,000 miles and cross a couple of states - driving from the Channel to our house is 1,000 miles and we cross France, Belgium, Holland, Germany and Poland. So of course we know more about our neighbours. That does not make Americans ignorant, though, it just means that in such a huge country with so much going on, and a limited amount of time to spend on news or geography, you can see how the focus is on the US, not the rest of the world.

As an American, I found this post to be well written and rather insightful.

I agree with you it may be easier to see other cultures as a European, however it's still up to the individual to learn. You don't need to travel anywhere to pick up a book or in this case, a map.

Well, I guess that s not the mentality problem...it is just so common people all over thw world don't bother where Poland is....must be we r not that popular....besides....as the Poles we ve always had that national complex to know more about other than we know about ourselves...my hint is....it might be a nice thing to teach your partner a few things and a great trip inside or culture and everything u find fascinating about this...

This is the advice coming from someone who used to think EXACTLY like you. I moved to U.S over four years ago, it's a huge culture shock especially when you're a grown up teen (I was 18 at the time), everything seems different.. and by this i really mean everything. I remember that I was so weirded out by American culture, I would refuse to date American boys, my friends were mostly "international" - mostly people i knew from local esl (english 2nd language) classes and I didnt seem to share anything with people my age, couldn't find a common language with them either. Well, it depends what makes you happy. You might meet a polish boy or an italian and make it a successful relationship here in U.S. To me, a huge breakdown came when I enrolled in community college and was forced to hang out with Americans, make friends, immerse in their culture, participate in study groups and all that. I started to understand their culture more and more, they introduced me to a variety of food i had no idea existed, football, they started taking me out..I really felt comfortable hanging out with them. The more I was hanging out with girls, I learned how to talk to the guys ..haha seriously it sounds like a long learning process and it seriously is. We do things different in Poland, we really do. You might of felt intimidated when he brought you home and you got a chance to meet his big family but I feel like in Poland bringing someone home is a huge deal whereas here in U.S parents are used to hanging out with their kids' gfs/bfs and its no biggie lol.

There's no tips on how to make it work. An excellent COMMUNICATION is a must. If something bothers you, your boyfriend needs to know about it. Also the fact that he didn't know where Poland was or never heard of it.. Think about it this way.. Would you rather be with an english guy and deal with all the stereotypes and stigma? Cuz they SURE DO know where Poland is and where poles come from. I'm sure you're gon have to compromise a lot but its absolutely doable. I'm in a great relationship and love my American boy so much :) Yes, we do fight. Is it because of cultural differences? I think its more cuz of personalities than the country of origin. And if you want him to open up to you and show more interest in your culture, do the same.