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Your feedback on office sex (situation from Poland)


Wedle  15 | 490  
29 Sep 2011 /  #1
What would you do in this situation?

Scenario

A future work colleague of mine is in the process of relocating to Warsaw. He was here in July 2011, for a 3 month trial. It was decided after the trial period he was the right person for the job and he was offered a contract for two years to start begin October 2011. I was recently informed that he started a relationship with one of the girls in our office ( although we have a strict unwritten rule of NOT shitting on ones own doorstep), it was all kept under wraps until this week. It transpires our new contractor has decided to shack up with one of our employees full time/long term in her opinion, on his arrival in Warsaw ( even though he is married). Although I am further informed by him, his wife and young child will be turing up in January 2012. My secretary was approached by the friend of his future concubine, who decided to trickle the information to the powers that be, both of the girls are from Katowice living in Warsaw and have been with us for over 4 years, I believe the informer is covering her backside as she recommended her friend for the job originally.

Now here is the dilemma.

The information is now company gossip.

What to do?

1. Terminate contract of contractor.
2. Inform employee her lover has a wife and child.
3. Find a reason to let both of them go.
4. Ignore.
PWEI  3 | 612  
29 Sep 2011 /  #2
Either 2 (more probably) or perhaps 4. You don't want to start firing people unless you really need to (hassle and expense).

Although you may wish to consider letting your new guy know that if he ever again dips his pen in the company ink, getting fired will be a picnic compared to his wife divorcing him.
OP Wedle  15 | 490  
29 Sep 2011 /  #3
Either 2 (more probably) or perhaps 4

If we go with 2 the girl becomes the victim, if we go with 4 we lose face on company rules. I was thinking of informing him we are only prepared to pay 50% of his apartment costs as he is sub letting it. Then waiting for the feedback.
Foreigner4  12 | 1768  
29 Sep 2011 /  #4
If I understand this correctly then the first situation is definitely a .4
PWEI  3 | 612  
29 Sep 2011 /  #5
I was thinking of informing him we are only prepared to pay 50% of his apartment costs as he is sub letting it. Then waiting for the feedback.

Option 5 for the win!
espana  17 | 947  
29 Sep 2011 /  #6
this is what you have to do my friend.
1 ) black mail them
2) take money from him
3) fuck her
4) carry on like nothing happened.
5) if you have another employee who looks nice tell her to have sex with you or she gets sacked
6) and again carry on like nothing happened.
JonnyM  11 | 2607  
29 Sep 2011 /  #7
Ignore. It is their business and nobody else's.
Wroclaw  44 | 5359  
29 Sep 2011 /  #8
The information is now company gossip.

facts might be better.

u are ready to terminate a contract without having spoken to any of those involved. not very smart, is it ?
OP Wedle  15 | 490  
29 Sep 2011 /  #9
u are ready to terminate a contract without having spoken to any of those involved. not very smart, is it ?

We now have enough facts to make an accurate conclusion of the whole situation, the problem was caused by our future contractor, we laid down the rules and he accepted. the fact that he went behind our backs and abused, concludes he is not a team player, in the future we have to trust him with contracts that are valuable to the company, if he is ready to cheat on small things, he will playable by our companies.
Barney  17 | 1624  
29 Sep 2011 /  #10
he is not a team player

This is what is wrong with the world management consultants took over about 30 years ago.
Havok  10 | 902  
30 Sep 2011 /  #11
What would you do in this situation?

he likes to fuk around, others gossip about stuff and you like to jerk off 6 times a day... How is this anyone's business? guy comes to work on time, does his job well, that's all you should care about. Ignore it, just make sure sh!t gets done. If your people have time to gossip with others then you’re not busy enough and should layoff a few.
PlasticPole  7 | 2641  
30 Sep 2011 /  #12
What you should do is discuss it with whomever you discuss such things with at work and decide what to do from there. You might have to discipline them both in some way, depending on what procedures your company has in place. You should do something because they are not supposed to copulate on the job.
shewolf  5 | 1077  
30 Sep 2011 /  #13
If it's not written in his contract that he can't date people from the workplace, then there's no legal basis to fire him or get involved in his personal life. The situation should be ignored. It will fall apart all on its own.
Foreigner4  12 | 1768  
30 Sep 2011 /  #14
I'm with the OP on this one- it's important to hold you and your people to a higher standard than simply doing your collective job. How these people have behaved gives great insight into how honest and honorable they are or are not in other facets of life. It's a certainty with some of them that given the opportunity they'd behave with as much or little ethics in business.
Barney  17 | 1624  
30 Sep 2011 /  #15
it's important to hold you and your people to a higher standard than simply doing your collective job.

Why? They are paid to do the job not join a cult.
Foreigner4  12 | 1768  
30 Sep 2011 /  #16
Read the rest of the post and stand closer to the screen this time, maybe then it'll sink in. Do me a favour and ignore any of my posts, I find your comments and attempts at debate as inspiring as haggling over getting my money back for goods delivered damaged. To make that clear to you, all your rebuttals towards me in any and all threads have been as useful as a broken toilette in a sh*tting contest.
Barney  17 | 1624  
30 Sep 2011 /  #17
You really are a petulant little boy.
I'll post what I want when I want, put me on ignore it's not that difficult.

When I see a lot of marketing speak, gossip and "insights into honesty" I guess that the poster, if starving would complain about the presentation of his much needed meal, so fully he has swallowed marketing crap.
PWEI  3 | 612  
30 Sep 2011 /  #18
I'll post what I want when I want, put me on ignore it's not that difficult.

Interesting to see you saying that. Doesn't it bother you to be so hypocritical?
Barney  17 | 1624  
30 Sep 2011 /  #19
Doesn't it bother you to be so hypocritical?

Nothing hypocritical about that Harry, if He doesn’t like a statement he can ignore it or me.

Keep going Harry I’m sure you will score a major success sooner or later.
peterweg  37 | 2305  
30 Sep 2011 /  #20
We now have enough facts to make an accurate conclusion of the whole situation, the problem was caused by our future contractor, we laid down the rules and he accepted. the fact that he went behind our backs and abused, concludes he is not a team player, in the future we have to trust him with contracts that are valuable to the company, if he is ready to cheat on small things, he will playable by our companies.

You said it, Terminate his contract, all your problems disappears.

Why should you have to deal with his behaviour.

BTW, paying his rent towards his lover makes you party to the divorce and an enabler.
OP Wedle  15 | 490  
30 Sep 2011 /  #21
How these people have behaved gives great insight into how honest and honorable they are or are not in other facets of life.

it's important to hold you and your people to a higher standard than simply doing your collective job

paying his rent towards his lover makes you party to the divorce and an enabler.

Option 5 for the win!

He was informed this morning at 11 am (CET) we are not prepared to reimburse costs for relocation or rent in his package, as we consider him a self employed consultant.
PWEI  3 | 612  
30 Sep 2011 /  #22
Wedle
we consider him a self employed consultant.

Which does mean that he can now ding your staff to his heart's content as your staff code of conduct doesn't apply to him. Did that occur to you?

Barney
Nothing hypocritical about that Harry, if He doesn’t like a statement he can ignore it or me.

Interesting that you consider yourself free to say whatever you want and people will have to ignore you but when I say whatever I want you start a thread titled "Harry the cuunt" and make statements such as "Harry fcuk off and stop harassing people." Perhaps you would like to look up the meaning of hypocritical and then reassess your statement.
Foreigner4  12 | 1768  
30 Sep 2011 /  #23
He was informed this morning at 11 am (CET) we are not prepared to reimburse costs for relocation or rent in his package, as we consider him a self employed consultant.

I guess that's as diplomatic a reprimand as you can give. It is a smart move to distance yourself from such behaviour.

PWEI, what's your suggestion to the OP on how to handle this?

Tell his wife? Maybe, that is a good idea, if he betrays his wife and child, who else will he betray?
Barney  17 | 1624  
30 Sep 2011 /  #24
Lets all judge this man without knowing anything about him or his relationships.

Interesting that you consider yourself free to say whatever you want and people will have to ignore you but when I say whatever I want you start a thread titled "Harry the cuunt" and make statements such as "Harry fcuk off and stop harassing people." Perhaps you would like to look up the meaning of hypocritical and then reassess your statement.

Harry, I said he can ignore me not must ignore me or have to ignore me.
PWEI  3 | 612  
30 Sep 2011 /  #25
Barney
Lets all judge this man without knowing anything about him or his relationships.

Perhaps you can list the situations in which it is appropriate for a man to cheat on the wife who clearly considers that their relationship still is one of man and wife?

Barney
Harry, I said he can ignore me not must ignore me or have to ignore me.

No, you used the imperative, "put me on ignore". The imperative is used for instructions, not for statements of ability. But do feel free to keep wriggling.
Barney  17 | 1624  
30 Sep 2011 /  #26
Perhaps you can list the situations in which it is appropriate for a man to cheat on the wife who clearly considers that their relationship still is one of man and wife?

Harry nothing is clear here. Life is not a series of tick boxes.

But do feel free to keep wriggling.

Context in language as in life is everything Harry, it’s not black and white it’s not a series of tick boxes. But do feel free to selectively parse.
Czaszewicz  - | 1  
30 Sep 2011 /  #27
Why have the rule if it is unenforceable?

Might call them in and tell them that if it is indeed true they will both be fired as they are breaking company rules.
PWEI  3 | 612  
30 Sep 2011 /  #28
Barney
Harry nothing is clear here. Life is not a series of tick boxes.

Many things here are crystal clear. But you can't admit that because then you'd have to back down even further and you don't want to have to do that, most certainly not when you're being forced by me.

Context in language as in life is everything Harry, it’s not black and white it’s not a series of tick boxes. But do feel free to selectively parse.

The full quote is "I'll post what I want when I want, put me on ignore it's not that difficult." But you claim that that is a statement of ability and not an instruction or command. How stupid do you expect your readers to be?

Perhaps if you were less of a hypocritical prat, you wouldn't so often find yourself having to claim that black is white and white is black.
Teffle  22 | 1318  
30 Sep 2011 /  #29
Jesus.

As to the question, fairly simple I would have thought.

Discipline anyone who has broken company rules - actual rules, not unwritten ones.

Other than that, really, it's only of concern to those involved in the whole sorry debacle and nobody else - what's wrong with that approach?
peterweg  37 | 2305  
30 Sep 2011 /  #30
Which does mean that he can now ding your staff to his heart's content as your staff code of conduct doesn't apply to him. Did that occur to you?

HE can do anything he likes outside company time.
Even if there was a staff code against it (there isn't, its unwritten) I find it highly unlikely you can tell people what they can do in their own time and with their own money.

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