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Lost my polish (soul mate) girlfriend, wondering if theres a chance she will come back....


lonewolf  1 | 7  
10 Apr 2011 /  #1
basics:
im 25 shes 32
im american, she is originally from poland, but came to the states at 18/19.
she is an amazing woman who loved me very much, and i her.she is beyond this world wise and knowing. and we had almost 2 years together. things got rocky toward the end and i did a lot of things i shouldnt have. things that she did not like. the first two times were by accident. the last time was intentional.

after almost 2 years of intense love and a relationship like none other, her words, she kicked me out of her life completley. she will not talk to me. she ended it. im wondering though, with such a strong connection and understanding if there is anything i can do or is it possible to gain a polish womans trust/love back. i have not contacted her for weeks now and dont plan to. i am giving her space. but im thinking a love like this...is there any way?

also: she is a firm believer of dreams and symbols and has a very tight relationship with her mother if that helps. before we met, we both dreamed that we would meet eachother. weird, i know, but it makes me wonder even more.

if i could get advice from the somewhat older/experienced people that would be great. but im open to anyone as long as its honest.
PlasticPole  7 | 2641  
10 Apr 2011 /  #2
So...are you a man or a woman?
pawian  221 | 26014  
10 Apr 2011 /  #4
i did a lot of things i shouldnt have. things that she did not like. the first two times were by accident. the last time was intentional.

You had an affair with a man?
PlasticPole  7 | 2641  
10 Apr 2011 /  #5
Do you plan to contact her eventually or will you wait for her to get in touch with you? What happened to cause her to leave after two years?

Maybe she thinks you were playing games with her and she is tired of it. She could change her mind if she forgets what you did. If she does forget and contacts you in a year or two, try to be extra nice and don't do the same things you did before. If it was meant to be, she will contact you. If it wasn't, she won't.
f stop  24 | 2493  
10 Apr 2011 /  #6
she is beyond this world wise and knowing

Do you think you can change and never ever again do whatever it is you did (twice by accident, once on purpose)? Incidently, what is it you did? Big difference between forgetting her birthday and cheating on her.
OP lonewolf  1 | 7  
10 Apr 2011 /  #7
her birthday is in september, so im thinking a non invasive text will do. ive been told to wait for her to contact me, after all she broke up with me and i informed her that i didnt agree, so she knows. the move is hers to make. what happened...? as most people do, she loves her space and freedom. but unlike most people, she knows when she is angry/hurt/sad/confused that its best to mentally disect the situation before reacting. i didnt allow her that. i wanted "now now now" i was "racing". the last time was too much and i was really pissed, i lost it. extreme loss of consiousness, if you know what i mean. and that was it for her.

Do you think you can change and never ever again do whatever it is you did (twice by accident, once on purpose)?

i most definatley wont do it again, to her, anyone, and most importantly not to myself. being without her and having time to myself is an extreme wake up call to say the least. the times before i didnt understand why she was affected so much by what i did, but this time i finally understand. seems to be too late though...
pawian  221 | 26014  
10 Apr 2011 /  #8
i wanted "now now now" i was "racing".

No foreplay? That was a grave mistake!
myjustyna  6 | 33  
10 Apr 2011 /  #9
Where there exists love, there will also exist eternity of loving the beloved. When there is love, there must be patience, loyalty, and resistance against the things that will make us lose the love . . . True love . . . True love is what I mean.
f stop  24 | 2493  
10 Apr 2011 /  #10
There also is such a thing as falling in love with a wrong person. If she's that smart, she could have figured out where that particular road leads..
OP lonewolf  1 | 7  
10 Apr 2011 /  #11
wrong person, no. wrong time, yes.(in my opinion)
f stop  24 | 2493  
10 Apr 2011 /  #12
did you hit her? By accident, twice?
OP lonewolf  1 | 7  
10 Apr 2011 /  #13
no. i did not hit her. what happened is in the post above.
f stop  24 | 2493  
11 Apr 2011 /  #14
the last time was too much and i was really pissed, i lost it. extreme loss of consiousness, if you know what i mean.

I don't understand what this means. I must be slow.
OP lonewolf  1 | 7  
11 Apr 2011 /  #15
got upset over something trivial, but didnt know it at the time. instead of giving myself space and time to figure it out, i reacted. completely out of ego and she was there to witness the whole thing. imagine being totally confused about something, but thinking you know what youre talking about. then defending it to someone who already knows that you have no clue. (in a nutshell)
Al Paca  
11 Apr 2011 /  #16
woman

Huh?? Two women?? Together?? This doesn't make any sense! Lol.

She could change her mind if she forgets what you did.

Has anyone ever forgotten what another has done to them? Ever? Particularly someone they were with romantically (ick) that hurt them?

If it was meant to be

Blahblah. This is like the Lesbian Dating Game! I guess they don't like to be cheated on and treated poorly either...
f stop  24 | 2493  
11 Apr 2011 /  #17
That really does not sound grave enough. There might be more to it, and she could be using your loosing your temper as a convenient excuse to break up.
OP lonewolf  1 | 7  
11 Apr 2011 /  #18
is grave enough if you thought you put your trust and love with someone and turns out that you were wrong. dissapointment can be a ender for sure. but maybe you are right. thanks for the words!
JustysiaS  13 | 2235  
11 Apr 2011 /  #19
Do you think you can change and never ever again do whatever it is you did (twice by accident, once on purpose)?

if you love someone you don't hurt them on purpose. it's not logical, you get the opposite effect to the one intended. unless they're into pain (like Rihanna with her chains and whips) hurting them to show them how much you're hurting is just not going to work. let it breathe and wait for the other person to contact you, a birthday message can be a good idea but don't put a 'how are you' or 'i miss you' in it, it's their decision whether they want to make that move. good luck.
PlasticPole  7 | 2641  
11 Apr 2011 /  #20
Has anyone ever forgotten what another has done to them? Ever? Particularly someone they were with romantically (ick) that hurt them?

Yeah, I knew someone who was immature that got on my nerves so I didn't speak to him a while. When I talked to him again, I had forgotten most of what he said that annoyed me.
Al Paca  
11 Apr 2011 /  #21
Good to know you're the forgiving kind. Have you unblocked them?

if you love someone you don't hurt them on purpose. it's not logical, you get the opposite effect to the one intended. unless they're into pain (like Rihanna with her chains and whips) hurting them to show them how much you're hurting is just not going to work. let it breathe and wait for the other person to contact you

Wise words. But sometimes don't people unintentionally hurt others they care about if they themselves are in a bad place at the time? (Not the case here with the OP as the injuries seemed to have been intentionally repeated.)

Often times, the hurter ends us more injured than the hurtee. Funny, that.

ends us

...ends up...

Damn martinis...
Al Paca  
11 Apr 2011 /  #22
lonewolf: i wanted "now now now" i was "racing".

No foreplay? That was a grave mistake!

Incidently, what is it you did? Big difference between forgetting her birthday and cheating on her.

did you hit her? By accident, twice?

lonewolf: the last time was too much and i was really pissed, i lost it. extreme loss of consiousness, if you know what i mean.
I don't understand what this means. I must be slow.

Sounds like lone is hiding the real grave scene and now hoping to get some advice from here and maybe even some sympathy on his side.

You wont get an effective advice if you dont tell the truth.

if you love someone you don't hurt them on purpose. it's not logical, you get the opposite effect to the one intended. unless they're into pain (like Rihanna with her chains and whips) hurting them to show them how much you're hurting is just not going to work. let it breathe and wait for the other person to contact you

if you hurt her on purpose (wether it was mental or physical abuse) just because you were confused and you wanted to see her react, than that might be the grave reason.

if what you say that what you did was

is grave enough if you thought you put your trust and love with someone and turns out that you were wrong

so if shes smart and you lost her trust as you say than most likely she wont contact you because you cant have any type of relationship without trust and no one wants to be in any type of abusive relationship.
Al Paca  
11 Apr 2011 /  #23
That's ^ a fake Al Paca, for some odd reason.
Al Paca  
11 Apr 2011 /  #24
THERS ONLY ONE TRUE AL PACA AND THATS ME
No Nonsense  6 | 68  
11 Apr 2011 /  #25
You have a huge age difference, that is the problem. Relationships with more than 5 years difference usually don't work.
Daisy  3 | 1211  
11 Apr 2011 /  #26
Relationships with more than 5 years difference usually don't work.

Rubbish, my granddad was 7 years older than my grandmother
beckski  12 | 1609  
11 Apr 2011 /  #27
is it possible to gain a polish womans trust/love back

Read some of the other thousands of threads on PF, pertaining to Polish lost love stories...
Leopejo  4 | 120  
11 Apr 2011 /  #28
I don't know about huge age differences, but 5 years is definitely not one of them.
OP lonewolf  1 | 7  
11 Apr 2011 /  #29
wow! well thank you all for your words.
joepilsudski  26 | 1387  
11 Apr 2011 /  #30
Dear LoneWolf:

When your ex and I went out to dinner last week, she talked a little about you...She said you were a 'dreamer type' but she really did like you for awhile, but now she just feels she has to get on with her life...When I see her later this week I'll try to find out more............................StoLat JoeP

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