help needed to warn off troublesome pole

My son is having problems with a polish ex girlfriend. They went out for about a month three years back, she went on to a new relationship very quickly and they rarely ran into each other. My son is now happily married with a baby due a

Y day. Currently this girl has no relationship and unfortunately has moved into a flat very near to my son, this was only coincidence tvough. Since then she has tried to persuade my son to start up another relationship with her. My som has told her he,s not interested and to back off. This girl has basically stalked him since then. She has sent texts to him suggesting awful things about his wife, he blocked her number but she just borrows other phones. If she see's my daughter in law she is rude and calls het kurwa and gwifka from a distance plus a lot of of other things,'pisda' ??? . I have polish lodgers and they just say this sometimes happens as polish girls can be determined to get their quarry. We don't want to get the police involved as yet but will do if necessery. One of the lodgers sugvested I have a word with this girl as she may take notice of an older woman. Mypolish isn't great ,how do I say ' leave my son and his wife alone or we will report you to the police' . Google translate is not much use and the lodger's translation was just a mass of swear words which he says will be much more effective! Would a written letter be more effective? Thanks for any help.

This isn't a Polish issue, it's an "insecure weirdo stalker" issue, so you know what to do. It's nothing to do with "Polishness" - change "Polish" for any race/nationality/ethnicity, and you could get the same.

Besides, why on earth has your son still got her number, three years on?

If you've got Polish lodgers, then you don't need advice from "Polish" (I use the term advisedly) forum. Guests often post this type of thread on here, to hide an anti-Polish subtext, so you may understand why some of us may suspect your motives.

If you're not trolling, it is a police matter now - speak with them a.s.a.p. for advice.

call the police her nationality is irrelevant.

It's obvious the girl has serious problems. Her behaviour WILL stop with time; however the problem is that it could be a long time. Telling her to stop won't make the situation better - it will almost certainly make it worse. Contacting the police is your best option, before the situation gets even worse than it is now. Especially with the baby due.

Appreciate this girl could be any nationality. She had my son's number not vice versa and she stopped him to speak, he would have been friendly towards her as he had no reason to be nasty, the nastiness started when he declined a date with her. I suppose that we held back on the police because it seemed extreme and this has only been happening in the last month. I thought maybe the lodgers might be able to shed light on her behaviour as they are always talking about how much they are persued by their fellow country women( wishful thinking maybe). Police are probably best dealing with this.

No subtext meant , I rely a lot on polish lodgers to help with the mortgage. The two i have at the moment are young and seem to thi

K this is nothing much to worry about and we are over.reacting a bit, though sometimes they are helpful. Forum was lazt resort.

inbrief.co.uk/offences/stalking-and-legal-protection.htm

If she was dating your son she obviously speaks English?!

Yes,extremely well but lapses into
No understand when it suits her! We thought that in polish she would have no excuexcuses to claim she didn't understand that her behaviour is unacceptable.

What utter nonsense. This is so clearly a troll.

Why do you think so? It sounds all too plausible to me.

Unfortunately it is all true, if you have any constructive advice please let me know as I am getting really annoyed. I don't relish getting the police involved but if the spiteful cow doesn't back off I will. When the d in l

friend asked her to stop shouting she pretended not to understand. I hope you are never in this position. I don't underztand why she is so interesred in my son after 3 years maybe she mistook his initial friendliness as interest, most people ade quite friendly to ex's in.britain.

Maybe it isn't normal in poland, you tell me!

Unfortunately the only advice is to have the police warn her off. Your son and/or his partner will have to make the complaint, unless you have grounds yourself.


No, it isn't normal in Poland, however (speaking from unpleasant experience) it can happen in England too.

The most important thing is that you mustn't have any contact with the girl yourself, and if the your first post is anything to go by, your son and his partner should take care that the girl can't harm them in any way. Obsessive love can quickly turn into obsessive anger.

I had a similar experience last year. The girl in question went after my Polish boyfriend. They did have mates in common which made it akward. This girl bad mouthed me, constantly texted my fella in Polish and me in English suggesting all manner of nasty things. My boyfriend refused to deal with it on any serious level saying it was her problem and to tell her to get lost myself. In the end I lost complete confidence in myself and threw him out. All the Poles blamed me and within a month he was going with her

I expect that this girl is banking on your son and his wife having so many rows, they split up and she will move in with tea and sympathy.

I wouldn't go to the police just yet , it might give you a bad rep with the Poles and you need the lodgers.
Find out if the girl lives in a rented flat, few young girls can afford to buy. If the flat is rented, write to the landlord and complain about her, if she's screaming like a banshee at your daughter in law maybe other people have complained and she won't suspect you. The one Pole who was sympathetic was my fella's mum she lost her husband to another woman using similar tactics, it's a well used technique apparently. I doubt the girl will hurt anyone physicaly, just be crafty and she may disappear. If she doesn't try the police.

I've been told that when a Polish woman really sets her mind on something, she'll get it.
It could be that Polish men are such pushovers, though. ;)

This is not your business. Why would you want to get involved?? This is up to your son to tell this girl how he feels about her. Apparently he is not clear with his message and gets her confused. Please speak to him, not to her. The messagge from him must be clear.

Very much my business,my son and my daughrer in law! Whatever my son does just seems to make the girl more determined to get him. My daughter in law has toomuch dignity to argue with this girl and why sbould she? I was told that maybe this girl would have some respect for her elders and a word from me might make her think about her actions.

Irishgal
Thanks for that post. Could be that this girl is playing a similar game. Sounds simiar making horrible accusations about my daughter in law then offering herself to my son. You're well rid of your ex irishgirl must have been rotten for you. I will try what you said as it's unlikely she owns the flat and there are witnesses to her shouting. Crafty is the word because she is very sweet if my son actually speaks to her and denies shouting at his wife. I have advised

Y son not to speak if she rings, just cut ber off and save her texts.

Jon
Yes we will get the police if we can't get any response from her landlord . I wouldn't want her to end up with a criminal record but if needs must.

The first thing they'll do is warn her off - she won't get a record, but she should hopefully get the message.

This is, I think, a technique employed by Polish women in particular (as opposed to the men, although some do it as well, but usually only on their girlfriend/wife's instructions). I'm sure other nationalities do it as well - not saying it is a peculiarly Polish trick - but just that I have only seen it in action among Polish women: the bad-mouthing of a woman, especially a foreign woman, is a common tactic to get her off the scene. And it won't just be turning things so that they are wrongly interpreted - it will escalate to downright lies. And anything the woman does will be picked over for days, sifted through for yet more angles on how dreadful a person she is.

I should know. I have been on the receiving end of it, not once. It astonished me at first, because it is such an underhand trick, and it is strangely effective. Your son, though, is English, and will presumably just not listen to anything said, and isn't interested at all in this woman.

I think he should speak to her, tell her her doesn't want her, tell her to leave him alone, and say that if he hears from her again, he will go to the police. Police will usually work (just the threat).

Better she ends up with a record for harrassment than let it esculate into something worse.
This one sounds like a real Bunny Boiler/spoiled Princess type. She no doubt boasted about how here new English B/F was well under the slipper,since he quite clearly is not anymore the green eyed monster has arrived and her pride has been knocked,household pets end up nailed to doors for less with whack jobs like this one around.

Hi Natasia,
Thank you for that post. I got to the point where I thought I was going soft in the head. I knew there was all this ******** , but no one would admit it. My fella's behaviour changed and he was not as nice. Only his mum had any sympathy, she's still great , she says her son is miserable with this girl but he should have thought of that. I still miss him but that's life!:

That way she could have an excuse that she couldn't understand terrible pronunciation in Polish

Please Wulkan do not interrupt the trolling going on here. It is pretty funny. The point is to distinguish who
are the trollers and who are the innocent victims.... Ooops, looks like I am the victim too.

A while back l posted about problems l had with my Polish partner. I had problems with an alcoholic girl and her mother suggesting l was having an affair with my partner's nephew. There were problems with my partner's drinking but these had been severely worsened by the women and friends, he had been drinking very little for a couple of years until this girl's ypartner left and she needed a new meal ticket,!!? It's really hard to believe that people would behave this way,especially as l helped this girl on occassions. I threw my partner out too, he ended up with the girl and is now on a bottle of vodka a day,the girl on more. The nephew has stayed with me and sees his uncle sometimes, the girl regularly propasitions the nephew for sex! All very sordid. I still miss and worry about my ex, l sometimes wish l had held my nerve but l doubt l would have won. I think that these so called friends become substitute family and you can't win.

Polish women seem to need men more than UK women so that may explain some behaviour. Me and the nephew leave the area in a week, fresh start etc...

His mum and nana support me all down the line, so there are good women out there.
Angry mum go to the police and have this nasty b....tch scared out her wits, she'll destroy you all otherwise. They don't care who they hurt.

Glad to have helped but ... are you related to the guys in the original post, or in another situation? Sorry ... getting mixed up here about which girl/guy is which!!

But if you have been on the receiving end of this kind of blackballing ... you have my every sympathy.


yep, that is the form. You will bend over backwards to help, make phone calls, fix up jobs, do basically all sorts of things that yr English or otherwise UK friends wouldn't ever dream of asking you to do ... and then you will anyhow be the biggest s*k* in the world (especially if you ever stop helping so much).

I was once literally physically attacked by an older woman I had been pressurized into helping because there had been a day where I'd been at work and my phone had run out of battery, and during the 2 hours without phone contact, she'd needed to discuss something with the person whose house she was cleaning, and she hadn't been able to get through to me. Suffice to say, that was the end of my helping ... now know how to say no. It goes against the grain for me, as generally am ridiculously sympathetic ... but the rules are different, and I didn't realise that.

Important to wise up. And with this crazy girl, some kind of enforced restraint is needed. Threat of police will hopefully do it. Oh - and the CUTTING OFF COMPLETELY. That is very important. Totally blanket refusal to answer calls, say hello to her on the street, etc. Sounds draconian, but that is again the form. That is what you must do to indicate that she has been zeroed from yr lives.