Why are Polish girls so confusing?

I've met some poles lately at my past work and besides noticing how beautiful and smiling polish girls can be, they can also become a big headache when it comes to relationships. One of this colleagues and I started chatting and talk about our lives... Then one of her friends came to me and told she was into me. Athough I could not figure she was indeed I decided to trust this mutual friend and asked this girl out, which was accepted in the second attempt (the first one she said her english was not good enough and she wasnt confident about going out by herself yet). Anyways, we headed out and after a while chatting I decided to go for it. Ok, I'm brazilian so I think my approach is a bit more agressive (dont take me wrong by that) than what polish guys are used to have, but it is all about being straight forward. Well, if you like me and I like you than why not kissing each other right? For my surprise she refused to turn her lips toward mine and kiss, saying she had someone and she wanted to be honest with this other guy. So I was just ok with that and said she should have told me that before. Actually it sounded more like an excuse than she had a bf really, but well, the queue goes on. I just left her behind but we still talked.

Something similar happened to another polish girl. My friend who lives with her came to me and said she liked me. We talked a lot about polish music and we sticked together for a good while at a party but then when I tried to approach she just went away. She had to leave early this night so I couldnt do much about, but in the next day she hit me on facebook and went on with the music issue but nothing besides happened even though I told her to let me know in case she would be free for the weekend, which she didnt.

Sometimes I just feel polish girls just like having someone to give them compliments about their beautiful atributes and that's all. In fact I used to do that a lot when I was a teenager but I don't have that much patience anymore. Just a matter of fact Ive been to other two polish girls when I was in Poland, and both acted like what I am describing. To get a kiss out of them I had to spoil and speak a lot until they felt confident enough and went for it.

So I really would love to hear from polish girls what's on their mind when it comes to relationships. I heard that polish guys can be really slow most of the times so maybe thats the way I should behave when I try to approach next time.

Oh, the shock! xD The horror! (Oh, I'm having fun, I'm sorry lol)


Maybe you should try brothels or sth then :P


Oh dear, that must've been a pain for you... ;)

Well, I don't know what to tell you, since I don't know personally the women (or rather girls, since you sound young, I guess) you wrote about.

Either those girls wanted just to hang out with you, make friends, rather than sth romantic, or you came through with your "aggressive approach" as a horny, creepy Latin guy who wants to f**k them on the first date and you freaked them out :) (but that's just my guess)


I think you should be yourself. Some girls will like it, others won't.

And it depends on what you want, I guess. If you're looking for sex only then you should go to clubs, I suppose? I don't know, I'm sure expats here can give you more info about that lol Oh, and apparently according to some very reliable study Polish women in the UK are more "promiscuous" than in Poland, so maybe you should try your luck there :)))

OOOOO i'm just having fun reading your respone, I'm sorry LOL i'm having to much fun haha

xD
I think the thread title should be more like "Why girls are so confusing? A simple and quick guide for boys on how to undress a girl without too much fuss and talking" xD

Maybe I'm being mean now... :P

Oh wait... What kind of advice Roosh' fans would give to our pursuer of Polish girls?
Hmm...
Get them drunk! :D
Make them believe you're staying in Poland longer than one/two weeks (in other words - lie) :)
Tell them German women are ugly! xD

That's all I remember...
;)

HEHE i'd say Amsterdam legalized prostitution ehhhh?? Thats quick easy and if you pay extra just a lil you wont even have to tell them they look good.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

just one thing serious


you do realize that some girls still dont kiss on the first date, i'm sure you're most into sluts and your "online" video mates but ehhhh sorry those girls those very special girls well keep going online for them.

Sankarin; you're just confirming what their mothers warned them about - boys only want one thing. ;)
My theory about the guys that just "go for it" on first date is that they probably watch too much prn - they have a skewed vision on what dating is all about. Or they're used to paying for it.

That said, it also looks like you have problems picking up cues that Polish women put out. Whatever they did that made you think it's ok to kiss them - you were wrong.

Polish guys are more sophisticated and tactful and this is what you need to try too.

Notice I said relationship. It's not about sex. When I say go for it I mean kissing, not going for a rape like sex attempt. Again, don't take this aggressive approach as I'm a latin horny as hell, that sounds a bit offensive. The point is those girls do just the opposite of what they are supposed to when it comes to giving out cues they are into someone according to what Ive learnt along so far.

I'm not that bad looking, nor think Im up for some promiscous fun. Been with girls from other nationalities and none acted like this. If they liked they would show interest and didn't being that confusing (of course there are exceptions for every rule)... I've talked to my friends who dated polish girls who said they all act as such.


Surprise: I live in Dublin now and there are a bunch of polish people settled in here. Wouldn't say they are promiscuous even because they barely go out around at night. At least in the city centre.


You got the point. I think the problem is about picking up their cues and that's what I expect this post to bringing up. They must have such unique cues.

Hoe you find a nice woman, my friend :)

Well, sankarin, someone who writes sth like this "To get a kiss out of themI had to spoil and speak a lot until they felt confident enough and went for it." doesn't strike me as someone looking for a relationship.


I understood what you meant lol
How old are you?
At which date were you trying to kiss them first?


I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you as a Latin guy, my posts weren't written in a very serious manner, if you haven't noticed :)

It's just there are some stereotypes about Italian men among Polish women (both positive an negative) and I was thinking that maybe Brazilian men are similar in some ways to Italian men. And let's be honest, most men are horny, no matter what nationality :P xD


Well, let's assume you're not a troll or a sex tourist...
What I've often read and heard is that Polish girls are nice.
When they go on a date and they realise they aren't attracted to the guy it is likely they won't make him feel this. They'll try to end this in a nice and most humane way possible in order not to hurt the feelings of the boy or guy in question.

If you approach them and they aren't interested they apparently aren't likely to tell you "f**k off", but they'll say sth like "I have a bf" or "I'll be going soon, sorry", "I'm with my friends", etc. Or they really have a bf, or they're going soon, etc. of course.

I imagine some girls need an ego boost from time to time, I honestly don't know.
I can tell you that I am one of those stereotypical nice Polish women lol It even happened that I agreed to kissing a man although I didn't feel attracted to him, just to not hurt his feelings. So such things happen.


Either she wasn't interested in a romantic way or you should inquire about that weekend again and tell her that you'd like to meet with her.

And yes, Wulkan is right, as far as I've noticed.
You're Brazilian and not that bad looking, as you say, I guess you had some success with girls from other nationalities so you shouldn't have problems - in theory.

So, yes, if you have problems, as it seems, then take it slow, be respecful.

Why are you so fixed on Polish girls anyway?

Doesn't matter, some other nationalities do not have that custom that kiss on the first date is no no. After all if you agreed to date a guy surely at lest you gonna kiss him. Why wait?

Well, I don't think all of them was looking for a serious one too. Not that I wasn't but I just prefer letting it go and if it turns out it will become serious, then why not? But something I forgot to mention is that one of them had a bf and still used to hang out with other guys (i know cheating is not only among polish girls, just pointing out this one wasnt in fact looking for a serious relationship).


I'm 23 now. And yes it was in the first date, but I knew them from before, so it wasnt like i was a strange.


Well, I just found out they are the most beautiful in the world =). And yes, they are all nice, kind, even smiley, although some can look really serious and mad. But maybe the challenge of not getting a clue from them is making me more attracted to them.


Thank you man! Just think the same. People must know how to give and get a no when it's no. Would be much easier than bearing this doubt in mind and wondering what did u do wrong when she went away or maybe.


Make sense. But come on, why the hell would she accept hanging out with me just to tell she had a bf when I tried to kiss? I made it clear my intentions. Besides, after this day I kept listening from their friends she was jealousy when I was talking to any of them and even my polish boss came to me to tell this girl was into me. I agree it all sounds very childish, but that's how it all happened.

BS you have really good stuff back there in Brazil

@ Sankarin, firstly I think what you experienced could happen with girls of any nationality; secondly, I suspect you may have relatively little experience with women for a 23 year-old.

Had you some more you would realise that there are many reasons why a woman agrees to a date. She may be lonely and in a foreign land and keen for company and a change from the four walls that surround her when she goes back to a rented room at night. She may have a boyfriend she wants to stay loyal to, but yearns for supportive male friendship (without pressure for it to lead to more). She may be single and keen to get into a new relationship, but may have been used before by men who come across as loving her but really just want to seduce her. She may not have had that experience herself, but may have friends who've talked about guys from Latin countries behaving in that way - a stereotype, I know, but perhaps one with some underlying truth to it. She may be thinking about how her life is unfolding and is looking for 'the one', a man she will marry and have children with. Or she could be desperate for hot sex without commitment.

Any of these possibilities exists every time you ask a woman out. The trick is to listen to her and understand her and endeavour to work out which is the case. If she wants something different to you, thank her for the date and move on. If you have common ground and you both enjoyed it, ask her again.

In the situation you described, I think you probably misjudged it and by 'going for the kiss' you took her aback. It may be that she feels differently about you than you do about her, or that she sensed you only went for the kiss because you felt you deserved it for taking her out or because you hoped it would lead to something else. So you may be out of luck, or perhaps you just took things too fast. As with most aspects of human relationships, I think the best solution is to talk. Ask for a coffee, apologise for jumping the gun, ask her how she feels, tell her the truth about what you feel, rather than what you think will sound best to her (women are better at this stuff than us, generally).

Good luck :-)

I'm not sure that this will apply to only Polish girls, but the ones I know, especially the pretty ones, just love to flirt. Love to dress up and feel sexy, to be the objects of desire of all men. But that does not include kissing or groping. That's a no no. What I noticed that works, is if a man is a perfect gentelman; attentive, self assured, but nonchallant, or seemingly ignorant of any sexual undertones going on.

And I mean hold out longer than she can, longer than you think you possibly can, and it will drive her crazy. And most probably it will be worth it in the end. ;)

@ f stop, I love it :-). I think it's pretty much a universal characteristic of women to want to be desired. And to respect and desire a man who shows himself to be above such tactics :-). Trouble is, Polish women are typically so much more desirable that we men find it much harder to resist their charms...

What if it does? :) Sankarin is looking for advice and I'm trying to help.
It isn't important what you think matters or doesn't matter, it's important what mattered for those girls sankarin wanted to kiss.
He wanted to kiss them, not to kiss you xD
So I'm giving my perspective on the issue as I'm both a woman and a Polish woman lol ;)


It's not about some custom. Some girls/women need time. I think women in general usually need more time than men. Think of dating as a foreplay. Men don't need foreplay, but it's often a must for women.

Furthermore, girls/women who are looking for a relationship may be put off by a guy who's moving too fast in the physical direction, because they may see it as a sign of him wanting only sex.

Also, women who are looking for a relationship don't want be seen as "easy", because men (at least in Poland) usually don't consider such women as gf material.

Of course, there are women who will have no problem with kissing on a first date or even having sex on a first date or one-night stands but then sankarin should look for such women.


xD
If it's a first date then I agreed to this date to get to know the guy! lol It doesn't necessarily mean I'll kiss him. Sure, if the guy is really handsome or hot and charming and interesting and altogether irresistible then the woman may just throw herself at him lol

It all depends, really, probably on quite a few factors. It's not a simple mathematical equation that you can apply to every case, to every woman :P


Because the woman may not feel like kissing just yet? Because she needs more time?
Damn, I feel like I'm talking to people from a different planet right now, you know? ;D What the hell...


OK, sankarin, but you don't know what they were looking for and I don't know that either.
I'm just telling you what impression I got from your attitude shown in your first post.


Um... Hanging out with your male friends isn't cheating yet, so what do you mean by hanging out?
Sometimes beautiful women complain they have problems with making friends among women and so they have male friends mainly.
If that wasn't the case and she was cheating on her bf, then what did you want from her? Sex?
If she was cheating on her bf it was very likely she was a player, so what did you expect from her? That she won't play with you? lol


OK, that's young indeed ;)
I suspect the girls you were after were your age or younger.
I think it may be often the case girls/women at that age aren't terribly mature yet and they don't always know what they want.

Some girls from Poland may also come from traditional regions in Poland and sometimes maybe it's good to take this into account. What I mean is that some girls at your age may still be virgins (which is apparently very unusual in the West). Let's take my example - I'm a rather religious person living in a conservative region of Poland and it took me three years of knowing a guy and then being his gf for almost a year before... you know... :)


OK, but some girls/women need time to warm up to a man. To get to know him better, to feel more comfortable around him and comfortable enough to kiss with him. That's like... basic, obvious stuff... for me, at least, apparently o_O


Another one bites the dust... lol


That would be my guess.


Then don't date Polish girls xD


Sankarin, she may see you as a playboy going after many girls at a time. So on one side she may find you attractive, but on other maybe she thinks you're a player or sth.

Or maybe, as I wrote, she needed time. The fact that she didn't kiss you, doesn't mean she didn't like you. Maybe she wanted you to ask her on another date and not hit on other girls at the same time. This is called "courtship" ;)

I honestly don't know, I don't have a crystal ball at my disposal and I don't have all the answers. Maybe she's just weird, or maybe she's shy or God knows what lol Girls have their issues too, you know :)

Did you have any particular interest in this girl, or did you date her only because her friends told you she was into you? If you were interested in her then you should've tried to talk to her and ask her about it. Or simply you should've ask her out again for a second date. Because I guess you didn't?


Indeed, it sounds weird coming from a Brazilian lol


I think it's pretty much a universal characteristic of people in general :)

Besides that, I agree with everything what Englishman wrote. That's a grown up, mature man. Watch and learn, sankarin ;)


Exactly, that's what dating and talking is for, among others.

Well, if we are talking generally it is about custom. I have never kissed on the first date while dating Polish grils. Second date, yes but not a first one, I think it is about custom.

Whereas grils from others countries do not care if that is a first date or not.

it is not only Polish girls I guess. I have been to all over Europe and girls are usually confused. You should be confident enough to show them that you could be a stable port for them...

I also spent 2 months in Poland dating some girls. They are hot and if you are a fun and relaxed guy and also don't show that their English is bad, they will enjoy the time with you...

Well, I wouldn't call it "a custom", it's not like it's some fixed rule or sth. But I don't know that much about dating outside Poland, so maybe you know better than me :)


Ah, I forgot that she said she had a bf. Did her friends confirm that she really wasn't single? I'm confused by this part...

Ironside, thank you for the definition, but I still don't see it as a custom (zwyczaj). I've never heard anyone saying: "Oh, I never kiss on the first date, people don't do this around here." lol There's no fixed rule that people don't kiss on a first date, but for sure they will kiss on the second or sth xD

Giving flowers to a woman, opening the door for her - that's what I'd call a custom.
I've noticed in the American films that there's this "third date rule" in the US (third date means sex) but there's no such thing in Poland and even that "third date rule" isn't really considered "a custom" in the US, is it?

Thanks for your kind comments Paulina :-). I think we see the OP's situation in very similar ways. Sankarin, I think Paulina's advice is very good - if you want to know about dating Polish women, you can't get better advice than a Polish woman's :-).

Overall, I think you risked coming across as a player. Polish women may on average be looking for more time, respect and exclusivity before they want to kiss you, or be kissed by you. I suspect you rushed things with the girl you went out with, and she recoiled.

If you really care about her and want to see her again, I'd try meeting her somewhere public, in daytime, without romantic connotations, I'd apologise, perhaps put it down to cultural differences, tell her how you feel about her, ask how she feels about you, then explore how she feels about giving you a second chance. But of course if you're with someone else, or you just want someone to kiss (or have sex with) then you must tell her that, and not lead her into thinking this is true love if it isn't. Respect her, level with her, and listen to her :-)

/custom is something which goes without saying, people are just doing it, #


custom is not about fixed rules but about what majority of people are doing - i.e. majority of grils do not kiss on the first date, I'm not saying wheather it is right or wrong, just is;

I'm not saying that all grils in a certain country would kiss on the first date but that I think more would do so than in Poland.


Come on movies are movies; nevertheless I claim that there is such a custom not a rule in Poland when it comes to kissing on the first date.

Generally Polish women are more doing more song and dance at the start of a potential relationship than women from other countries I'm familar with. (not sure about Japan, as I have only ever dated only one woman from that country)

What if Op's spoken English is bad too?

You're welcome :)


Let's assume more women are also likely to get involved in one-night stands in other countries than in Poland. Would you then call not getting involved in one-night stands "a custom" in Poland? ;)


I don't care if you consider this right or wrong, I'm just saying it isn't sth that can be called a custom in my opinion :) I don't even know whether majority of girls in Poland don't kiss on the first date. Things could change since you left Poland (that was years ago, right?)

Anyway, Ironside, whatever ;) You consider it a custom, I don't. It's a non-issue for me, I'm not sure why we're even discussing it... lol

But now I'm curious - is it really so common to kiss on a first date in other countries? Gentlemen? Ladies? What's your experiences? :)

I think when a course of behaviour is shared by most or all people in a country, and it is passed down through families, it is a custom. If the people of a particular country tend on average to share certain characteristics but there's quite a bit of variation and it is never recognised as a shared tradition, it is not a custom. It would not surprise me if, on average, Polish women are less likely than some others to kiss on a date. But IMO it isn't a custom because there is no shared agreement among the girls and women of Poland along the lines of 'We never kiss on a first date'.

Paulina's comment that dating and getting to know a girl is like foreplay is a good one. Maybe Polish women like a lot of foreplay :-)? If that's the case then any wise man will desire them even more, since we all know that the intense love that comes from unhurried courtship, and the arousal that results from lengthy foreplay, result in a relationship that will post and the test of time - and fantastic sex :-)

Well, I like to find patterns in human behaviour and that difference was interesting for me to take part in this discussion. Explaining to 23 years old that girls are not confusing but do differ from boys is boring and best left to the kindergarten teachers.


I would argue that there is no need for shared agreement as long as majority of people behave as if there was shared agreement.

Ok guys. after a while off i decided to come back and give a reply of what happened afterwards and my thoughs on the situation i started mentioning in this topic. It turned out i picked up this second girl who lives with my friend and we made it out for like a month.

the point i acknowledged is that polish girls love the game more than any other nationality ive known. i wouldn't like to generalize but it is like common sense just like all brazilians should play soccer. just after my last post here i decided leave her behind. and i would have done that if this mutual friend hadn't called me out to a party saying she was willing to see me. so then i decided myself not to take any advance that night and i did it right. in a given moment she was like "you brazilians are all the same, you just talk a bit and then go for it. you need to seduce more. you're doing it wrong". so i only went for it in the next party we agreed to go and it worked. it was a really nice time. she broke up with her ex french bf after a while...

she was a really interesting girl besides being hot. the downturn came when we were in another party. although i wouldnt call her my girlfriend we were seeing each other every week so this last time we were partying she saw her ex, this french one, and she just left me behind and went talk to him very close. im not jealous but this time i did not feel comfortable. so she came back to me, and i invited her to go to the dancefloor which she refused, and by this point i noticed there was somethign wrong going on that night. after insisting to her come with me she agreed. then suddenly when we were talking she gave me her back, hugged another guy and started crying. i was horryfying not getting a clue of what happened by this point, then she came back to me and said it was better for me to go upstairs which i didn't agree. so she just went away with this guy and left me behind. for my surprise this was her other ex boyfriend, who was brazilian as well.

after this i deleted all the way of contacts we had and never talked back to her. i must admit she was the only person i hated in all my life and i really hope ill never hate anybody again because it was such a horrible feeling. fortunally i got rid of it very soon and we never talked back again.

morals of story: polish girls are the best players ever, no matter if they want to have something with you or not, theyll play anyway and make you think u stand a chance. im saying this cause she told me herself.

UM, because Polish girls (and all girls and women, everywhere) don't owe you kisses and other sexual favors. Just because they talk to you, doesn't mean you are entitled to making out or sleeping with them.

Do you expect MALE friends to make out with you just because you talked to them or told them their basketball throw was good, or took care of their beer at the bar once? No? Then why do you expect that from females?

Now, in response to that, you might say something like "But Texas, I'm not trying to sleep with men, LOL!" Well, that's where your problem is. If you ONLY focus on trying to be all romantical and sexy with women, you will get women who will either A) play games with you; B) not really know how to react and be vague so as to "let you down gently"; or C) just use you for sex the same way you are using them for sex.

The first girl you described was probably just being her normal, friendly self, and didn't realize that the fact that she conversed with you made you think she was going to do anything else with you.

As for the second girl, well she had an ex boyfriend, as you know yourself, you can't just turn your feelings on and off like a faucet. She clearly wasn't over him, and she might have felt like you were trying to take advantage of her vulnerability. And it is true - most girls/women (of ANY nationality) prefer to get to know a guy before he moves in for the kill. Like, it's really extremely off-putting when a guy tries to make out with you and get in your pants after like 30 minutes of conversation. I'm sorry you were with a girl who wasn't over her ex yet, though. But also think of what YOU wanted from her. If you were mainly with her for the sexual companionship, then she was doing the same exact thing to you: she was just with you for the sexual companionship. But what she REALLY wanted was a close, intimate, loving relationship - as is evidenced by the fact that she still was not over her ex-boyfriend.

Moral of the story: You get what you give.