My Polish girlfriend's mother called her a prostitute because we live together

maybe her mum got a case of "what will people say!!!"... quiet usual among Polish mums; also showing off her daughter and organizing a wedding for almost unknown 300 family members, instead of a bride and a groom...

Care to back this statement up with hard facts?

You aren't understanding her mother. She is forcing her/him about marriage.
She is just having fun? And then, she will marry with someone else? I'd not prefer to be her husband.

are you a saint yourself? :)

Don't worry, you weren't asked to.

You said first that marriage is a young institution. When you can back your this statement, I'll back mine.

Exactly. The young woman can make her own mind up about her relationship and what she wants to do.

i think you'll find that other than over the anvil, marriage came about in the 1700's

I am well aware about unfairness to females. While females are strictly ruled and called prostitutes, males aren't called so, but, called casanova or somethings like that.. But, who calls such speedy males like this? females again, i guess. no?


that kind of marriage started in 1700s was state offical kind. before, its version was religious.. before, it was without any religious or state. humans have always done marriage, whether officially or religiously or just by vowing to each others in the community. Today, some people live together as life term darlings without any official nor religiously and this kind of togethership is very old version of marriage.

No, I said it was younger than cohabiting without marriage. Which is obvious, because couples need to live together first to realise that creating an institution such as marriage might be beneficial in terms of childcare, sharing of food or wealth etc. You don't just come up with a concept like marriage without any previous experience in the matter. Also, there are cultures in the world today who do not share our notion of marriage. What with them?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage#History_of_marriage_by_culture


men deserve to be called worst, but instead, they direct all the attention towards women and call them names...

Not in northern Europe.


Casanova lived in Warsaw.

how would her mother know what is behavior of prostitute? Think about it

Okay, I got it. You are using the term marriage as paperwork, signing them.
But, you say cohabiting period is for childcare, food, wealth, etc sharing.
So, you mean signing paperworks is risky without knowing the potential partner for longer future togethership.. So, you see marriage as not a fun thing to do. Okay, but, big majority of togetherships today without marriage are for fun only.

While out-of-marriage relations are considered/done as fun and when marriage is taken as monetary risky instution (that's why people hesitate to sign papers), then, suchs can not take risk of dedicating their lifes too which is more important and harder than monetary dedicating and they should not do marriage either.

The namiotists on this forum agree with that woman for sure.

Men and women both.


But with time came civilization. This is the righteous and proper way to consummation ... those who do not follow are primitive, just like those who were there in the dawn of mankind.


I mentioned it. If this is so, I can again understand the mother's pain.


I think young couples ought to be more responsible with their behavior than that. Getting married is not such a bondage that it will hamper prosperity and progress in life. People make it what it is actually not. It is actually a great support system ... but ofcourse, had the couple been in love they would know that this commitment was special and would come naturally. But lust is another thing ...


No I don't. I think I have formed my sentences correctly for anyone with education to understand that I do not make it seem what is not true.


Not JUST a boyfriend ... but she sleeps with him, and there is no marriage around... and its like a reckless lifestyle some youths these days adopt.

Its a mother's pain which spoke. I can guarantee that this mother will not abandon her ... mothers are MOTHERS ... maybe she is upset and very heartbroken, but she will not abandon her completely. Although the daughter did abandon her values ... and in future she will certainly know what wrong she did. Not very distant future. At that time she will sit with a cat and switch on the notebook, give advices to people ... go to church ... start acting like as though she were some saint. BUT TO NO AVAIL ... only feel deprived for the remaining part of her life, no matter how much money she have around her.

Relationships not only need to be formed, but also maintained and preserved ... they are not playthings ... they are not so less important that they can come after everything else. No problem is so big that one cannot wait till marriage, or if wait is not possible ... then simply marry.

If all these things go above your head ... then its just not your thing ... but doesn't mean you can call names on a mother for things that goes between her and her daughter.

But can you not have respect and values being together without being married.
Can you not still have high standards and morals.
Why the need of this clarification that you are together just to be valued? I think you can be committed and not married. Thousands if not millions do it everyday.

because it's not Christian like, but calling your own daughter a prostitute is... :)

of course you can stinky, unless you are .......


Obviously you feel the need for the state to sanction your love life with a written contract. However it's not for everyone.

Either that or we prefer to think for ourselves and not blindly follow what a hypocritical twat in a white robe spouts while he isn't buggering choirboys.

You are so fast in grabbing that one up ... :) ... give a little time for me to answer.


No.


Maybe about everything else ... not in doing such a deed, its below even low standards and morals in the concept of family and society. Its a great work of man and woman, that is to build a healthy and functioning family which would give way to a community and a society. To deny this responsibility, and infact to harm or move away from it, to reject it ... is definitely not a respectable or honorable thing to do.

By saying this I am not stopping anyone. Everyone is and should be free to choose. But its surely not something I have seen to work in the proper way a well selected and maintained marriage does.

High standards and morals also involve taking care of the spouse, being understanding, honest, loving and integrate each others family into a good and healthy family circle. This must continue in all stages of life, youth, middle, old and then the spirit. This is true and proper marriage. Certainly in between there can be anger, few screams, maybe a tear ... but never they come because honesty or love was compromised ... but because of petty matters which occur in life.

A strong marriage is the marriage I am talking about. Not the one done to show off.


This is an institution, for any clarification. It is not "valued", but it is a "value" a "blessing" ... a declaration ... a commitment ... responsibility ... right ... honor and an act of CONFIDENCE. I say "WHY NOT?" ... what is the problem? ...

Millions of people take drugs everyday ... it doesn't make it right.


Did I say that?

Unless it comes from a person's own understanding and heart ... state sanctions of anything of that kind is useless. In any condition I am in favor of freedom to all ... I live on a balance, you don't need to think in extremes only :).

when we lived in Mikolajki, I've met a girl who was about to get married with an Welsh guy and her whole family was very happy about it so I guess Midas is right about what he's saying.

Answer me this.... why do you think that some people who have lived happily together for 20/30 years but have not wed, but then decide you know what lets do this, then get married and

after a few months or couple of years they separate and divorce.



I disagree. I think if you have morals and values then however you live life they will remain with you, married or not.

If it's a white Westerner yes, others no.

My whole family was very happy when my sister said that she was interested in marrying a man WHO WAS POLISH ... my whole family including me were very happy about it. This man is a good man, and he still loves her, and they have wonderful children. We still REMAIN happy about it.

I wish we do in future, all in the Lords hand.

Anyways, it do not matter. Midas is a Polish hater, and all the Polish he knows are some labors or workers he uses for getting contracts and business. Nothing beyond it. His mind is limited to that only.

There are Polish girls who decide to marry men of good education and behavior from Eastern countries like India or Bangladesh or North African country too ... I didn't see Polish mother's cry and weep (yes sometimes they are nervous, but they demand to meet the boy and this is logical).

I think all the mother wants is a good married life of their daughter. Provided it is a good mother ... and not a gold digger which can be in any country or culture (including west Europe) ...

I thought mothers and fathers just want their children to be happy!

when we lived in Mikolajki, I've met a girl who was about to get married with an Welsh guy and her whole family was very happy about it so I guess Midas is right about what he's saying.

Thank You.

I wrote quite extensively why things often work like that on p. 1, so if any of my opponents wants to address the topic, please comment on what I wrote ( especially comment on the gazeta wyborcza article about the Swede ).

From my experience - we are talking about a country that women ( many of whom have since become mothers ) were desperately trying to leave in the 1960's,1970's,1980's and yup, even the 1990's.

When I had this bit of a side thing with the "firma polonijna" in Poland back in the 80's I was pretty much told ( usually in broken English ) by quite a few Polish "ladies" that they were ready to basically drop everything they had in Poland and go live with me in Great Britain. And that they'd be a good wife, make me very happy and so forth... Sometimes there was an age difference, sometimes the bird was married, freshly married or engaged, made no bloody difference, for these women back then a foreigner was simply a dream come true and on a whole together different level than local guys.

I guess the only place that can be compared to Iron Curtain countries nowadays is, I dunno, deep Africa perhaps?

Anyways, these women I wrote about became mothers, had daughters and I seriously doubt Poland has gotten rich enough for them to change their opinion on things. So when they find out their daughter is seeing a foreigner they are all happy, because back in the day they'd have happily killed their neighbour's cat for a chance to date a Swede, German or British guy.

So if you're not married, you are automatically unable to care for your partner, to be understanding, honest, or loving? What a load of absolute tosh. If you love someone deeply, you are in a committed relationship, married or not. And even if you are married, but don't love your spouse, you are NOT in a relationship at all. Being married has nothing to do with being in love. Marriage is about children, property, and inheritance rights and / or religion. It is a good idea to marry if you have or plan to have kids, just for the added security it gives your family. If it's just you and your partner, and you are not religiously inclined, marriage is IMHO largely overrated.

She tells this to you.It is all lying.Polish mothers usually don't intervene and when they do is in the push direction.I am not against polish mothers.

So you suggest that Welsh is some kind of worse breed that it's weird if somebody's mother is happy of a daughter marrying a Welshman, or what? I thought that mothers are generally happy if their daughters are getting married to a decent men... no matter of what nationality.