PolkaLina
4 Apr 2018 / #1
Hello, I'm not sure what to do so hopefully any advice or opinions would be helpful, especially from girls who have dealt with similar problems.
Sorry in advance if the post is long!!
I am Polish but living in America (already very hard to find someone Polish lol). My parents (mother especially) are very very traditional. They wouldn't let me date until I was older, so when I finally got my first boyfriend, I was about 21. Even then, they were kind of put off by the fact that I was seeing someone. However, the bigger problem was that he is Mexican. He is ideally a kind of guy most girls would want: puts others before himself, very caring and kind, always supportive and looks out for me, good at communication and values me, etc. But my parents disapproved because he is Mexican and not Polish. Family is extremely important to me and I'm close with my parents, and eventually I ended up breaking up with him because I figured I should look for a Polish guy.
Plot twist, I found another guy but he was Venezuelan. Of course my parents did not like that at all either. Fortunately the break up with him was easy because he actually wasn't that great of a guy in relationships. Selfish and not as caring or anything. So that was a relief to my parents. But I still keep in contact with the Mexican ex. Recently, we started hanging out and seeing each other more and more again. I'm considering giving him another chance because I do like him, but I still fear the disappointment of my parents. I do also fear that because I'm getting older, and that I'm in America, it is harder to find a good Polish man. So I don't know if I want to let go of this Mexican man who loves me dearly, for someone who is not as good in the future but meets my parents' standards, or even ending up alone.
I have been thinking about this for about half a year now and still don't know what to do. I do want my significant other to communicate with my family well, understand Polish jokes and humor, raise Polish children eventually and teach them the language, go to church with him, upkeep Polish traditions, etc. It also doesn't help that it's been ingrained into my head since I was a young girl that I must marry a Polish Catholic man, so it makes it hard for me to fully and completely accept anyone who doesn't fall under these categories/standards. (He also isn't tall. He's actually my height, and I prefer someone taller than me because I like heels, haha. His and my humors are pretty different too but he tries very hard to make me laugh and to appreciate my jokes. But these are just little things I'm sure I could look over since my biggest problem is the whole Polish dating non-Polish thing.)
Thank you for reading all of this if you got this far, and I appreciate any serious input you may give me!!
Sorry in advance if the post is long!!
I am Polish but living in America (already very hard to find someone Polish lol). My parents (mother especially) are very very traditional. They wouldn't let me date until I was older, so when I finally got my first boyfriend, I was about 21. Even then, they were kind of put off by the fact that I was seeing someone. However, the bigger problem was that he is Mexican. He is ideally a kind of guy most girls would want: puts others before himself, very caring and kind, always supportive and looks out for me, good at communication and values me, etc. But my parents disapproved because he is Mexican and not Polish. Family is extremely important to me and I'm close with my parents, and eventually I ended up breaking up with him because I figured I should look for a Polish guy.
Plot twist, I found another guy but he was Venezuelan. Of course my parents did not like that at all either. Fortunately the break up with him was easy because he actually wasn't that great of a guy in relationships. Selfish and not as caring or anything. So that was a relief to my parents. But I still keep in contact with the Mexican ex. Recently, we started hanging out and seeing each other more and more again. I'm considering giving him another chance because I do like him, but I still fear the disappointment of my parents. I do also fear that because I'm getting older, and that I'm in America, it is harder to find a good Polish man. So I don't know if I want to let go of this Mexican man who loves me dearly, for someone who is not as good in the future but meets my parents' standards, or even ending up alone.
I have been thinking about this for about half a year now and still don't know what to do. I do want my significant other to communicate with my family well, understand Polish jokes and humor, raise Polish children eventually and teach them the language, go to church with him, upkeep Polish traditions, etc. It also doesn't help that it's been ingrained into my head since I was a young girl that I must marry a Polish Catholic man, so it makes it hard for me to fully and completely accept anyone who doesn't fall under these categories/standards. (He also isn't tall. He's actually my height, and I prefer someone taller than me because I like heels, haha. His and my humors are pretty different too but he tries very hard to make me laugh and to appreciate my jokes. But these are just little things I'm sure I could look over since my biggest problem is the whole Polish dating non-Polish thing.)
Thank you for reading all of this if you got this far, and I appreciate any serious input you may give me!!