Im from India and want to share something with you all, want to have a bit of advice from you guys about this. So i started talking to this girl on facebook, it happened around 1 year back, and since 6 months, we have really started loving each other. I know its not a lot of time, and i have not met her personally yet, but will meet her next year in Poland. We talk everyday, on facebook and skype, and do video calls, do a lot of chatting, and its very hard sometimes for both of us when we think that we cant meet personally at the moment. And cant express feelings in any other way.
Now the problem lies here, she is not so good in English. She can write english, i can understand her very well, but she has problems speaking it. She sometimes panics when she thinks about it, especially when it comes to her mind that we wont be able to be together just because of the language problem. She has improved a lot, but she still says that speaking English is tough for her.
She is ready to come here to my Country, and ready to do everything to be with me. We dont have any problems with this, my parents will agree, her parents will agree, so the family problem doesnt really gets in between here.
Im really worried about the language problem. She gets very disappointed due to this. We both are 24 now, and we have a lot of time to get married ( 2-3 years ) and a lot of time for her to learn the language.
I have a feeling we will go very well with each other. But when i think about the language problem, i become very sad sometimes.
Should i really be this much worried about the language problem ? I mean, i dont know much about if anybody can learn english in 1 or 2 years perfectly. I dont want her to be grammatically perfect, i just want her to be able to communicate with a person in english verbally.
Many thanks for reading, and if anyone has any experiences they could share it would be very nice to read them.
Yes, Im putting a lot of hope in this. I dont know, this what, we both are doing, is stupid or not. And it will be very much painfull for both of us to end this after a certain amount of time. I sometimes feel, i should have never met her here on the Internet and never cared to send her the first msg.
My only concern is her english. She says she will do it, but then again says, she isnt having improvements in her english despite reading a lot. I feel really good when i see some one saying me, not to worry much about the language hehe.
you don't need to be! i have been with my first polish gf like this- i mean via web and same stuff are you are going through.. but it has been a good one. language is not really a problem as long as you can even learn a fair minimum of polish as well.
^ I cant learn Polish, Im sorry to say. And its because learning Polish is of no use. I will explain. Im going to live in India my entire life. We have a bussiness here, so i dont want to leave a well settled life and go to, say Poland and do a job there. I know, it may sound harsh, but i cant just leave India and earn in some other country.
And English is a universal language, everybody knows it everywhere. So learning english is of prime importance. If she comes here, she needs to interact with other people too here, who will know only english. :)
@ Local fela You still with her ? Please tell me something about your experience :)
I agree. I meant from the above comment, that learning Polish isnt the top priority now. I want to be with her, and learn Polish later on. My entire life remains for that hehe :)
I cant learn Polish, Im sorry to say. And its because learning Polish is of no use. I will explain. Im going to live in India my entire life. We have a bussiness here, so i dont want to leave a well settled life and go to, say Poland and do a job there. I know, it may sound harsh, but i cant just leave India and earn in some other country.
If you won't learn Polish you will never respect her culture, on that basis I would say stop now while you have the happy memories and just be friends.
^ Dude, i said that i will learn Polish, but that's not a top priority now. Its not important now. Im not even saying her to learn my language, which is Hindi. If she doesnt learns Hindi, im okay with that. Its not about respecting each other's culture, its about doing what is important at the moment, and what is important for us to be together.
Learning English is way too much important at the moment where our relation is. I have my whole life to learn her culture, her language and everything. But at the moment, i want to do what is really necessary so that we can be together. Everything else is a secondary. :)
Learning English certainly should be your priority right now, and not Polish. Oddly enough, I agree one-hundred percent with you! Only thing is, your intended beloved is Polish, rather than English, Canadian, Hindustani or American. English therefore may prove of little avail. Her English may be allright, then again, it may be great/good enough, and then again it may stink.
In the end, you have to be the judge which language you will use between yourselves:-)
Please, leave that Polish girl alone before you both get traumatized. She is not yours.
Anyway, what do you plan to do with her? Are you going to take her to India, or are you going to present yourself as a precious gift to Poland/Europe through her?
Could you ask her what is it that she found in you that her Polish counterparts lack? Goldilocks?
Its not about respecting each other's culture, its about doing what is important at the moment, and what is important for us to be together.
Dude, its everything about respecting one and others culture, you want to bring her to India, therefore you will expect her to follow certain Indian culture and traditions.What about her culture you expect her to leave in on the tarmac before she boards the plane to India?
With your attitude your relationship is doomed to fail, I second what Henry as to say, leave the girl alone allow her to live her life and stop harassing her with conditions.
Secondly, how can you love a girl you have only met over the internet for gods sake man grow up.
I agree with all of you here. I also agree that we both are stupid to get into this. So what should i do now ? Should we both, end this ?
It will be very painfull for both of us to do so, and im really worried about her. She often says me that she will cry and be sad a lot if we wont be able to be together.
Im not actually worried about myself, I will tackle that anyhow. But im really worried about her. She sometimes cries very easily, she is too innocent and i dont want her to see her sad, and disappointed.
Please help in this. And thank you for commenting here. I know this all is my mistake, i want to see her happy all her life, doesnt matter if we are together or not. Please help.
Visit her, or pay for her to visit you. In my experience, long term relationships dont mean much. Get to know each other before you commit. Before I met my current girlfriend and the mother of my son - I was a fiend for sending out a late night hail mary and telling a girl that I really liked her, so she should call around. Lol
You gotta meet this girl and see if its for real and not just lust. Meet up somewhere for a holiday, spend some time together and get to know each other personally. If you still feel the same about each, fcuking deadly - then take it to the next level. Plan from there.
If the spark is missing - that sucks. But at least you found out early, rather than attempting to build a life together based on facebook and skype. And you shall remain good friends. Nowt wrong with that.
Not one for internet dating and that lark, but if it works for yourself - bula bus.
Secondly, how can you love a girl you have only met over the internet for gods sake man grow up.
Forget it. Social Darwinism is in play. Better she leaves to India and never returns than bringing non-Polish children back.
In simplest terms, she is abandoning her culture for financial stability. It's the Westernizing of Poland. If they ever have children, the poor kids will never even know what a Kielbasa is.
Says the British foreigner whose own godforsaken corner of Blighty has given the world such Epicurean delights like the deep fried Mars bar and whose national dish is a gruesome stodge of ground-up animal organs stuffed in its own stomach.
Says the American who routinely cooks everything in butter or bacon grease, as well as being from the country that gave us biscuits and gravy and other delicious heart-stopping treats.
Epicurean delights like the deep fried Mars bar and whose national dish is a gruesome stodge of ground-up animal organs stuffed in its own stomach.
PMSL - so the Polish make the same stuff into soup! what is the difference? Delph why so anti -American? what problem is it you have with our cousins from across the pond?
Delph why so anti -American? what problem is it you have with our cousins from across the pond?
Whatever similarities white Americans had with white Brits, I think that is long gone now. Other than music and obsession with pop culture, I don't really see much in common. Needless to say USA is no longer white and Britian is not too far behind in that regard. So cousins? Not at all
Dude, its everything about respecting one and others culture.
Can't believe this guy is going to "DUDE" somebody and doesn't respect the Polish Culture or people, but he wants to love one, total ******** if you ask me. If India man wants a trophy go play a sport, DUDE
I have polish girlfriend.. i am indian guy.. we are planning for marriage... which place is easy for our marriage india or poland if we want to marry... my parents will not be agree for this marriage.. can anybody tell me that it is compulsarly of my parents's permission for our marriage? Please somebody give good suggestion?
